Interdimensional Travel for Dummies
by DTFrogget
Summary: My to do list: 1. Figure out where I am, 2. Find out how I got there, 3. Find out how to get home again and 4. Try not to get killed by criminal ninja or crazy Homunculi while doing it. Should be simple... Or not.
1. Life's Grudge

**This started out as an "Akatsuki capture random person" fic and then I realised I had no plot so I tried to create one by shoving the whole thing into FMA-land.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist! SPOILER ALERT! Oh, the spoilers!**

* * *

><p>Life? Can we make a deal? I don't know what I did to piss you off so much but I, Catherine Bryson, solemnly promise I'll never do it again if you just show a little mercy and cut me a break!<p>

I'm pushing through thick forest in the middle of a small cyclone, terrified, wearing one shoe (since the other one fell off a cliff), my uniform is covered in mud and blood and a green sticky substance I can't name that I think came from a tree, and the only other things I have on me are a hairbrush, my maths textbook and my PE bag.

Honestly Life I'm just a normal kid; what did I do to deserve this?

* * *

><p>This is where the explanatory flashback comes in…<p>

* * *

><p>"Cathy! You're going to be late; I'm leaving in ten minutes; where are you?" My mother yelled up the stairs as I clattered down them, school and PE bags in my left hand, dragging my hairbrush approximately through my hair with the other.<p>

Once I reached the bottom I realised that I had forgotten my maths homework, dropped my schoolbag and ran back up the stairs. I slammed through the door to my room and grabbed my maths textbook off my bed and as I did the homework sheet slipped out and slid underneath it. By the time I had located it, my mother was half-way across town if her shouts were anything to go by.

"I'm coming now!" I yelled downstairs as I raced towards my bedroom door; I yanked it open, barrelled through it and ran headlong into empty space. After a short but sickening fall I landed hard on something, fell again for a split second and hit the ground.

Winded and shocked out of coherent thought, I pulled myself into a sitting position and at first just focused on getting air into my lungs. Slowly the reason for my new bruises came into focus. I was sitting on the ground in front of a tree. More than one tree, in fact, now that I had my breath back and blew my hair out of my eyes it was clear I was sitting in the middle of a large collection of them; perhaps even a forest. I heard the sound of rain and looked up; the leaves in the honeycomb canopy above my head rubbed against each other in the wind.

Well Life, it's finally happened. I've gone mad. I've always said that double maths on a Monday would be the death of my higher brain function. Or I'm dreaming, one of the two. Either way, I might as well do something.

I clambered to my feet.

"Right." I whispered. "Forest. Okay." I spun around, looking for an edge to the trees, a gap, and path or _something_. I still expected to see my bedroom door standing open somehow in the middle of the air. It wasn't of course.

I noticed my hairbrush and PE bag sitting on the ground next to me and bent down to pick them up, my maths textbook, complete with homework, was sprawled a metre away on the top of a bush. I picked it up and shoved it in the bag.

There was still not path or break apparent in the trees outside of the small clearing I was in, I peered through them for any sign of a building, but couldn't see one.

When I got lost as a kid, my parents would always tell me to wait for them to find me, but how were they supposed to get wherever this was? So, this time it was up to me to get home myself. Did Alice simply sit when she fell down the rabbit hole? Every direction looked the same, so I followed the slight slope of the ground into the line of trees.

"Hello?" I called after a few steps, "Is anyone here? I'm a little lost!" I continued to call out variants as I walked along. "I'd really like to know where I am so I can go home!"

The undergrowth was thick and full of catching thorns and branches that snagged on my clothes and whipped across my face, leaving red lines on my bare skin. I noticed that I seemed to be heading downhill slightly, where was this? Finally I stumbled into another small clearing, furnished by a huge fallen tree. I sat down on it and rested by head in my hands.

"This is not going well. I hate being lost." I looked up as I heard a loud thump from directly in front of me. Two figures had appeared in the clearing; I stood up and took a step towards them before I had even properly taken them in.

"Hey, excuse me! Do you-?" The taller of the two turned around without warning, grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the air in front of him.

"Where the hell did you come from, who are you!?" he yelled at me, pulling something out of his pocket and pressing it against my throat, it was sharp.

I noticed that his face was distinctly blue and he had dark gaps in his skin just under his eyes.

Normally, when authors want to communicate the delicate terror of their china-doll heroine they compare their heartbeat to the wings of some adorable songbird. My experience of life-threatening terror is more like having an emu tap dance inside your rib cage; it's nowhere near as delicate.

My mouth worked silently until I kick-started a synapse or two.

"Bad fishy Kisame, no killing random strangers." I said, frazzled brain putting two and two together at last, Kisame's eyes went big.

"How'd you know that!?" He yelled, pushing me up against the nearest tree and holding me there by my throat, "Who are you!?"

"Bad…Fish…" I squeezed out around the block on my windpipe, "Can't breathe… Uchiha, help…" I assumed that the other figure was Kisame's partner, Itachi Uchiha.

"Kisame." A soft monotonous drawl came from behind the hulking fish-man, Kisame released my throat and I slid down the tree to the ground.

Coughing I staggered to my feet and peered around Kisame, standing a few metres away was a pale figure with long dark hair wearing the same black and red cloak.

"Uchiha of the Itachi variety!" I said loudly ducking under Kisame's arm and diving behind Itachi, "I'd appreciate it if ya didn't sic your crazy fish-swordsman on me, if you'd be so kind." Itachi turned around and surveyed me with bright red Sharingan eyes. "I'm Cathy by the way." I added.

"What the heck is going on here!?" Kisame yelled.

"She knew our names, Kisame. That is information that not many possess." Itachi said, I took a nervous step backwards. Isn't this always the way? Unwitting person lands near some ninja and is kidnapped. Drama ensues… Kisame made a move towards me; I turned on my heel and ran off through the trees.

* * *

><p>This, Life ol' buddy ol' pal, is where you seemed to take a further dislike to me.<p>

* * *

><p>I slapped my way through some ferns and came to a river; I started slogging through it, got to about the halfway point when Itachi appeared in front of me. I bumped right into him and slipped on a mossy rock and fell over into the river. I splashed to my feet again; Itachi grabbed my wrist with his ninja reflexes and dragged me out onto the bank.<p>

"Hey! Let go, you!" I said, just as peal of thunder reverberated from the dark clouds overhead, followed by heavy lashing rain.

Itachi's grip on my wrist tightened to enough to make me turn to look at him, my eyes met a flash of red and blackness swept in over me.

* * *

><p>I groaned softly as I woke, my head felt like a troupe of sadistic gnomes in pointy shoes were dancing around inside it, which was a strange and unpleasant sensation. A similar sensation occurred when I opened my eyes; so I shut them again.<p>

"Oi, Itachi, she moved." A deep voice said and a large hand appeared around my throat again and dragged me upwards. The obnoxious little gnomes in their clogs paled in comparison to pressure on my windpipe and my eyes flew open. Kisame's leering face came into view.

"Really…? Again, Fishy…?" I rasped out around Kisame's fist, he let up on the pressing but still kept my feet off the ground.

"I want an answer this time Itachi." He growled, "How do you know so much about us; girl? Where are we?"

I couldn't think of anything to say. Should I tell the truth? To someone who was currently trying to kill me? Kisame pressed harder, I coughed and wheezed desperately. He released his hold a little to let me speak.

"Is it a secret now? Lots of people have heard of the Akatsuki where I'm from."

"Where do you come from?" Itachi, the Weasel himself was sitting near the middle of the clearing next to the river we now occupied. The slope was much more pronounced by the banks, putting my in mind of a mountain.

"Well, considering that I stepped out of my bedroom and fell out of the sky, it's pretty safe to say I don't live here. You've never heard of where I live; it's a magical land full of mystical creatures with incredible power called Australia." Well, I can dream.

Kisame, seemingly satisfied for now, grimaced and let me down. I wobbled a bit on my feet, no doubt after effects of Itachi's Sharingan.

"This isn't over, I'll find out what else you know." Kisame muttered creepily.

"Looking forward to it, Bubbles." Kisame growled and rounded on me, I tried to move away from the row of sharp fangs now uncomfortably close to my face, but there was a tree in the way. Obviously able to read the shock on my face anyway, Kisame grinned and turned back to Itachi.

Once I had my balance back I looked around. The river was wider here, no doubt swollen with the rain that was continuing to fall, I couldn't see the sky through the thick storm clouds but I had a feeling that it was a couple of hours later in the day, nearing noon.

"Now 'Tachi," I said, crossing to the log Itachi was sitting on and sitting beside him, "using your Sharingan on people you've only just met is hardly polite." He ignored me. "Just imagine what your parents would say." Still nothing.

"I guess it might be hard for you, you haven't seen them in so long and all, if all else fails we could go find your brother and ask him!"

I saw a flash of red as Itachi turned and tried to back away but started moving far too late, two hands grasped my shoulders and pushed me off of the log. My back slammed into the dirt. That may have been too much.

Once again my breath rushed out of my lungs and didn't want to come back in. I stared up at an unusually emotive Itachi; he was glaring down at me with an actual _expression _on his face.

Well, it was an expression for Itachi, for normal people it was more of an unperceivable movement of the eyebrows, but I was close enough to catch it. This was pretty big news.

It was also terrifying. This was after all a mass murderer. If I was to give this face a name it would be _Death-is-coming-and-he-brought-friends._ I'd always sort of felt bad for Itachi. From a distance anyway, when he was safely on my screen. Poor tortured soul, Weasel boy and all that. He kind of looked like he needed a hug, and was pretty darn huggable, but right now he was seriously freaking me out.

"See, if that doesn't confirm it I don't know what does!" Kisame burst out from behind me, "She knows too many things! We should take her to headquarters!"

"Kisame," Itachi said, "you forget that we are unaware of our current location, we do not even know where headquarters is." This intrigued me, snapping me out of my terror.

"Members of the elite and great Akatsuki got lost?" I said, then again with more conviction, "'Tachi and Number Two got lost! That's too funny!"

"We did not get lost!" Kisame seethed, "We were kidnapped or something from the middle of the base to here!"

"Kisame." Itachi said with the slightest warning edge to his voice. Itachi looked at me for a few more seconds, and then disappeared from above me; I stood up and brushed myself off, heart rate slowing. I started pacing around the campfire.

"So let me get this straight. You were transported by unknown means to this forest that you have never seen before, and then I come hurtling out of the sky and happen to stumble across you?" I questioned, Kisame nodded, "Sounds like a fanfiction," I said quietly to myself.

"What's a fanfiction?" Kisame said, able to hear what I said, no doubt, thanks to his ninja hearing.

"Don't worry about it Gill-Face, you'll never come across one. But what is important is that this is usually the point in one that I get kidnapped or something, so if you don't mind." With that I threw myself backwards which, thanks to my pacing, landed me into the centre of the swollen rushing river.

I was carried straight for a little bit by the rushing water before it descended into a series of sharp corners that knocked me against countless pointy rocks, after which I was hauled down another straight stretch.

I gasped in a breath of air, and one was all I got before I was pitched end over end under the water as it tumbled over the edge of a small cliff. It was nowhere near a full blown action movie waterfall, more like a small hiccup in the otherwise smooth slope.

Once the water had decided that I was confused enough, by which time I had gotten rather confused about the direction that up was in, it spat me out onto the edge. I slogged out of the water onto the bank; as I squelched through the mud I realised that I was missing a shoe, my left to be specific.

"Aww, I needed that shoe!" I grumbled, squishing over to a convenient log to squeeze some of the water out of my sock and take a look around. "Better keep moving I guess." I murmured,

I ran into the trees that lined the edge of the river and crouched down behind some bushes. I wasn't sure how far the river had taken me and I could be waylaid by troublesome ninja at any time.

"Or whatever else is living here; who knows what it could be, I hope they speak English." I muttered, suddenly aware that I didn't even know what universe I was in, and looking around suspiciously.

So, Life, this is where you find me now: soaking wet and shoving my way through thorny bushes in the middle of a small cyclone while trying not to be found and recaptured by two highly dangerous criminal ninja.

Care to reconsider?


	2. A Search Undertaken and a Town Found

**Here we are again!**

* * *

><p>I searched as I walked until I found a reasonably short tree with a convenient array of thick foliage and a circle of dense bushes that I could shelter under. After crawling through a gap in the bushes I curled up as comfortably as I could on the hard ground and waited for the rain to stop, using my PE bag as a pillow. It was a lumpy, soggy pillow but better than nothing. Or a rock. I<p>

It didn't take too long for the rain to peter out, but it was long enough to give me a distinct crick in the neck and back. "Well, that was at least more restful than walking, I can't say for sure how much more dry I am, though." I said as I stretched.

The rain had stopped but the river that I made my way back to was still swollen with water. I splashed my face and risked a drink, the water looked clear enough after all, and I was thirsty.

I decided to follow the river down the side of the mountain, in search of some people who might be able to tell my where the hell I was. I went sideways into the trees a little in case Itachi and Kisame were looking for me along the river. As I walked I slapped a fern away from my face and tried to ignore the fact that my stomach was growling furiously, with minimal success.

"Quiet you; I'm hungry too but there's nothing I can do about it anyway."

As I walked along beside it I took more drinks from the river when I was thirsty but never quite convinced my stomach to stop complaining.

The trees grew thin when I neared the base of the mountain, to be replaced by rocks and boulders. As I hopped from one to the next I paused every now and then to scan the horizon for something to tell me I was near civilisation, mostly I saw green fields and the occasional small herd of cows wandering in them, which made me hope that I was near a farmstead or something.

The sun was about eight finger widths above the horizon when I followed the stream out onto level ground at last. I flopped down onto the soft grass with a happy sigh. By this time my stomach was not to be ignored, I almost bent double at the angry rumblings and spasms that wracked my abdomen.

"Okay, okay, off in search of food I go." I murmured and set off in a random direction, as long as the mountain was behind me I was happy.

I walked across a swathe of lush green grass to the crest of a hill and down the other side, at the bottom I came across a dirt road that wound off into the hills in front of me.

Deciding that I wasn't the kind of traveller to ignore a perfectly good road I began walking down it. When I rounded the next bend I stopped and shaded my eyes to see better,

"What the heck is that?"

At the end of the road was a dark shape on top of a rise, silhouetted by the setting sun was a ruin of a small house, its burnt timber jutting up into the air out of the wreck.

I sprinted up the path to the remains of the house and stopped in front of it. The house had been burnt to a crisp, the remains were long cold though and weeds had grown up through the cracks. Whatever had happened here had happened a long time ago.

"Hmm, that's odd. But there's no food here so I'm off." I turned away from the derelict remains and looked out over the scene behind me.

The mountains I had come down were slightly to one side, and further down there was a small cluster of buildings nestled together around what I guessed was a railway station.

"A town. Towns mean food. Food is good!" I said loudly, and darted down the slope towards the buildings.

The sun made its way slowly down to the horizon line as I crossed into the town. There weren't too many people about. In fact there weren't any people about, just a pigeon and a cat who, if the look it gave me after the bird flew away at my approach was any indication, had been stalking it.

"Sorry little guy, I know how it feels to be denied lunch continuously by the cruel mistress that is fate." I said nodding at the cat, it stared back at me then stalked off. "Fine, be that way then."

I started towards what looked like a shop of some kind from which smells of baking bread was emanating. As I pushed the door open I realised, somewhat belatedly, that I had no money to speak of.

My wallet was sitting back in my house inside my school bag. This resulted in me stopping in the middle of entering the shop, thus standing in the doorway.

"Hello there dear, I don't believe I've seen you around before." A voice said I looked up and located its source; a woman with curly brown hair dashed with grey was standing behind the counter of the bakery smiling at me.

"Uh, hi." I said, she continued to smile.

"Do come in, it's getting a little nippy out there." She motioned for me to stop standing in the doorway, I took a few steps and the door swung closed behind me.

"Thank you." I said.

"My name is Abigail Moss, my husband and I have run this bakery for quite some time." She said, still smiling.

"I'm Cathy." I said, moving a little further into the shop, it was definitely nice to be inside somewhere, and out of the wind.

"Are you visiting family?" I wondered how long she'd keep talking to me, she didn't seem like she was going to stop soon so I'd have to come up with something.

"No not exactly. I've been travelling for a little while and I ended up here; it's a nice place, very beautiful." I said, trying to sound as if I'd told this story before.

"You look a little young to be travelling like this on your own." Abigail said, looking motherly and concerned.

"Well, I wanted to leave my home town, strike out for the big wide world, and this was the best way to do that." I said earnestly.

"Ah, so you'll be heading to Central at some point then, not a lot of the 'big wide world' here in Resembool, as nice as it is."

"Resembool?" I said. No way! The home of famous alchemists Ed and Al Elric!? Of course, that was their house I'd seen! Abigail was nodding and smiling.

"Yes, we're a little off the beaten track out here, a lot of people end up getting on the train to Central to go make something of themselves."

"That's the plan!" I said looking hopefully cheery and upbeat, inside I was in a whirl. Fullmetal Alchemist! Maybe Alchemy could help me get home again!

"The last train left a little while ago, you'd have to wait until morning to get going. Cathy, where are you staying?" Abigail said I was a little stumped.

"Wherever I can I guess. I'm a little low on funds at the moment, hence the need to get to Central." A little, or a lot, I thought to myself. Abigail's forehead creased.

"Hold on a moment would you dear." She said and vanished away behind the shop front, I heard her calling something, and another voice answering her, it was deep so I assumed it was a man.

She came back a moment later with a large dark-bearded man behind her, and I once again assumed that he was the owner of the voice I had heard.

"This is my husband John; John this is Cathy. We'd be delighted if you'd stay with us for the night. It'd be no trouble at all! We'd love to have you!" She was very enthusiastic, I'd often been told to avoid taking things from strangers, but I also made a point of not looking a gift anything in the mouth, and the promise of not sleeping outside again was too tempting to resist.

"Thanks, I'd be really happy if you'd let me stay with you." I said, both Abigail and John smiled happily and ushered me through the shop and into the home that was attached.

* * *

><p>"This is Sally's, our daughter, old room." Abigail said, showing me into a small bedroom with a view of the mountains. "She left for Central a few years ago. Make yourself at home, I'll go start dinner." She bustled out. I kicked off my one remaining shoe and set my bag down on the bed and watched the sky turn dark through the window.<p>

"Would you like me to wash your clothes for you? It's no trouble and they'd be dry by tomorrow; you look like you've had a bit of a rough day." Abigail said, sticking her head back inside the room.

"That would be great!" I said,

"Sally left a lot of her clothes behind and half of them don't even fit her anymore, feel free to take anything you'd like." Abigail continued, "Just put your things in this basket, and I'll be back for them in a few minutes." She bustled out again.

I poked around the room, most of the drawers were empty, there was a small bookshelf above the desk, but it was empty save for a few centimetres of dust. The wardrobe was obviously the most used piece of furniture in the room, it was brimming with more clothes than I'd probably ever own in my life, and there was space for more; most likely what Sally had taken with her. I pulled a shirt and pants out of the cupboard and threw my uniform into the basket.

The house was much warmer than outside, I made a mental note to pack a jumper when I left and smelled the cooking smells that were coming from the kitchen and I felt that momentarily everything was looking okay.

It only got better after that.

"I've put your things in the wash, and dinner's ready!" Abigail sang cheerily, I followed her downstairs and was presented with a huge spread of food that John was already digging into.

"Wow, this looks amazing!" I said, Abigail smiled, and told he in what I was beginning to understand was a constant state of smiling kindliness to eat as much as I liked.

After I ate my fill of the truly delicious meal, Abigail asked if I'd like to have a bath and 'wash away the travelling' as she put it. An apt metaphor; I could feel the past few hours melting off of me along with the rainwater and river slime, swirling away into the super-hot citrus scented water.

After I had a heavenly bath I returned to Sally's room and, saying goodnight to Abigail and John; fulfilled my dream of sleeping once again in a bed.

I watched the full moon rise out the window until I was lulled to sleep by the sound of chirping grasshoppers and a distant snippet of music.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to anyone who made it this far! I love getting reviews of course, but just taking the time to read's still good! See you next time!<strong>


	3. Kisame and Village Folk, Not a Good Mix

**Hi again; anyone who is still reading this! Big huge amazing thank you to Rinnala for possibly the best review I have ever gotten! Also a big thank you to Fionn Rose, RinOkami and mindpearl for Alerting!**

* * *

><p>What with the peaceful night I'd had, I was hoping that my morning would be the same. But once again you, Life, seem to have decided that you have some kind of personal grudge against me.<p>

So instead of waking up to say, sunshine and birdsong and some tasty breakfast, I was woken mostly by the sound of my own startled yelp as I was dragged out of bed by my hair. Well, there was at least some sunshine.

"Hey, Itachi I found her!" I heard a voice yell, I cracked my eyes open and found myself looking into a familiar fish-like face.

"My name is _Cathy_. What's up, Kisame?" I said groggily, "If you've come for breakfast, you're a little early in my opinion, but I guess we can rustle something up."

"Shut up, you're coming with us now." He said, dragging on my hair again until I stood up.

"Ow, could you quit that?" I said irritably, worming away from Kisame. He let go just as Itachi entered the room.

"Yo, Weasel!" I said in greeting, "Where're Abigail and John? They own the store and house by the way."

"They aren't dead." He said shortly.

"Oh good, that's great to know. Well then, where are we off to this fine day my ninja buddies? I'll have to pack appropriate clothing and such. So, any idea where we're headed?" I was feeling a little smug now, since I knew where we were and they still didn't.

"She knows something!" Kisame said sounding annoyed, and he crossed to where I was now standing next to a cupboard that housed the clothes from Abigail and John's daughter and grabbed my arm in a death grip.

"Now why would you think that?" I replied, putting on my incredulously innocent face, "I mean I may have _some_ vague idea of where we are and where we could go." I smiled, despite the painful grip on my arm; I was determined to make this go my way. Itachi took a step into the room towards Kisame.

"Where are we?" He said and Kisame let go of my arm.

"Well, you know I'm not really in a mood to give out information for free." Kisame bristled.

"Well how about you tell us and we might not kill you? How's that for a deal?" He growled, I thought about it. If I wanted to negotiate my way to odds better than 'maybe' I needed to do something, and do it right then. It could hardly get too much worse after all.

"I might pass on that one." I stepped right around Kisame and addressed the Uchiha, "What do you think, 'Tachi, got a better offer for me?" Itachi said nothing, he didn't even move. His eyes just bored into mine. I broke eye contact, shrugged and sat down on the bed, "We've all got something in common here; ultimately we all want to get out of here back to where we were. To do that, we'll need information, and I know where to get it."

"How?" Kisame asked,

"Same way I know about you, Kisame Hoshigaki Fishy, former swordsman of awesomeness or whatever." I said, "So, you need information, I know where to go, methinks a partnership would be in the best interests of all."

"Yeah maybe, if you aren't lying." Kisame said, "Where are we?"

"You'll take me with you?" I said to Itachi, he nodded wordlessly. "Well alright then! We're in the town of Resembool in the south end of the East Area of Amestris." I said cheerily, reminding myself of a tour guide.

"The best place to go would be Central city, where you can do all sorts of things!" I said with a grin at the two ninja, "You'll be back to terrorising villagers before you know it! Let's hit the road!" I turned back to the cupboard, picking my bag up off the floor.

"What are you doing?" Kisame said irritably,

"Duh, I'm packing!" I said, "We don't all just throw on a cloak and run out of the lair! Some of us live in houses; and I personally like to have something else to wear after jumping into rivers and worming through countless grabby bushes!"

I started shoving some of the clothes that Abigail had washed for me into my bag along with the ones I was keeping from her daughter's wardrobe. There were even shoes to replace the one I lost in the river that looked almost exactly like my lost school ones. I also found s toothbrush and some toothpaste on the little table by my bed with a note attached to them welcoming me to them.

Once I was packed and wearing shoes I dashed downstairs, where I found Abigail and John, apparently Sharingan-ed to sleep.

"Well, that's a blessing. Oh look, toast!" I grabbed a few slices and sat down to eat them.

"We don't have time for this!" Kisame growled.

"Yeah we do, Central isn't going anywhere." I said, spreading jam on my toast. I grabbed a couple of the apples that were in the fruit bowl in the middle of the table and added them to my bag.

Once I finished eating I made a vein stand out in Kisame's forehead by drinking some water, and taking bathroom break.

"Will you hurry up and leave?" He said, hands twitching.

"You're so impatient, I promise you, an extra hour isn't going to make much difference, and we've got a long way to go."

"All the more reason to get going soon, we'll travel so much slower with you along that it'll take ages to get anywhere." He spat back.

"Now Fishy that's hardly nice." I said "Just one more thing to do." I grabbed a pen and piece of paper and wrote a note to Abigail and John since they hadn't woken up yet; telling them that I had gone onto Central and thanking them for their kindness.

I stuck my note to the inside of the front door and turned to Kisame again, nodding seriously, "Okay, I'm ready."

"Finally!" Kisame yelled, grabbing my wrist and pulling me off my feet and out the door. Itachi met us outside, appearing from the shadows under a tree.

"Okay, let's get going!" I said brightly, striking out towards the train station, "Oh, wait, we have no money for the train, I guess we're walking, huh?"

"Which direction is Central?" Itachi asked.

"Uuuuuh," I said, "West-ish…"

"West-_ish_?" Kisame repeated, "Do you actually know anything?"

"Well it's not like I've actually been here before!" I said defensively, "I've just seen maps, it's to the west, a little North."

"How far?"

"A few days, probably. Maybe."

"So you have no idea."

"Yeah, basically."

"We need a map." Itachi said heading for a nearby shop to get one. He came back a few minutes later with a map under one arm.

"Hurray!" I said, "Hang on, how did you get that? We have no money here… Actually I don't want to know, let's just look at it."

Having worked out which way they needed to go, the two ninja set out down the road, I stood looking at the map for another thirty seconds at least before I realised that they had left.

"Hey!" I ran to catch up and walked a few metres behind the two under the warm sun. We'd been walking for about five minutes when the first farmer appeared on the road in the distance, in another minute we were less than five metres apart, it was then that the man looked up and saw us.

"Morning." I said smiling; the man stared up at Kisame in silence, blood draining from his face, and then keeled over. "Whoa!" I ducked around the ninja and ran to the man, checking his breathing and pulse.

"He's alright, just passed out or something, hopefully he'll just blame it on heatstroke or something." I said, standing up and moving on behind Itachi and Kisame.

Over the course of the next two kilometres we met six more people; three young girls walking together screamed and ran back in the opposite direction, two more farmers fainted and one man tried to attack Kisame, who hit him over the head with his fist and he fell to the ground.

"Look, either use a Jutsu or something so you don't scare the living daylights out of everyone, or get off the road!" I said as the man disappeared from view, "Mostly just you Fishy! 'Tachi'll be fine as long as he switches off the Sharingan."

Kisame thought for a second and then went and had a conversation with Itachi. Well, it was mostly Kisame having the conversation; Itachi just sort of nodded or gave one syllable responses.

"We're moving off the road." Kisame said, pulling me to the right into the thick forest that ran alongside the road and train tracks.

"Won't we get lost this way?" Kisame snorted.

"We can still _see_ the road most of the time, and when we can't we'll just get our bearings another way."

"What? How? The map?"

"No, something else just as easy." Kisame ran at the nearest tree, jumped and kept running horizontally up the tree until he vanished into the top branches.

"Right, using weird chakra to walk on trees is very easy." I said sarcastically, looking up towards the top of the tree, Itachi kept walking forwards and I ran after him, a few seconds later Kisame appeared next to us.

"How does it look?" Itachi said,

"The forest looks clear, it'll be easy to stay out of sight until we get past the mountain, we'll save time if we cut through the valley, three or four days if we make good time." Kisame reported, Itachi nodded and we kept walking. Kisame sized up a nearby tree and then with a quick, "One more look" he all but flew into the branches, I watched him vanish into the leaves and grinned wryly.

"I guess lookout duty's impossible for me." I commented to Itachi, who said nothing. Smarmy red-eyed jerk.

* * *

><p><strong>So, this wasn't very long, I don't really have much after this, maybe a chapter and half already written that hasn't been edited in any way shape or form. But, I'll try to post again soon with the next chapter which sadly looks about the same length. Thank you again to the amazing people for the Alerts and review!<strong>


	4. Falling Down and Filler

**Thanks go to wolfgirlmoon and Spirit Seer for the Story Alerts! Also to ****short blonde ninfa**** for the Favourite! And to kelsiangel92 for doing BOTH! You all rule!**

* * *

><p>We walked for about another kilometre before I got thirsty. Well, maybe it was closer to five hundred metres than a kilometre. Thirsty is probably also hyperbole, it was more like a raging desert wind has swept down my throat and decided to live there. While also stabbing me behind the eyes.<p>

"Hey, Weasel, I'm getting kind of thirsty here. I don't suppose you have any water hidden in that monstrosity of a cloak?" Itachi glanced at me and handed me a water bottle resembling thing from inside his tent-cloak. "Cool, thanks Weasel!" I said taking a mouthful and handing it back.

He kind of glared at me again with his creepy red eyes of doom, and I made a face back. He always looked like he was glaring, and the effect was a lot more unsettling in person and at close range.

"You know, you really should switch that thing off; nobody here knows what it is or how to use it, and there aren't even any ninja. You should rest those big eyes of yours for now." I said.

"What do you mean no ninja?" Kisame asked sounding suspicious.

"I mean that there aren't any ninja, were you even listening? No one here's ever heard of Sharingan, Weasel." I watched Itachi until he blinked slowly and his eyes went from burning red to deep black. The dark colour suited his face better. I caught myself studying him, and blushed.

I looked away for a second, studying a ridiculous bird, then I started my tale of Amestris.

"Amestris is a military governed land that prizes greatly the power of Alchemy, a process that through the law of Equivalent Exchange allows the Alchemist to transmute something into something else." I started, and continued as we walked, and walked and walked.

"These people are called State Alchemists, people who are given qualifications and funding by the military in return for their services." I said around my lunch of more grey rice porridge.

"Eastern Alchemy being slightly different from the Western Alchemy of Amestris; they spring form similar backgrounds, we theorise, but-" Kisame suddenly stopped and I walked into him.

"You've been talking all day girl! Shut up!" he said loudly, "We're stopping for the night." He said I looked around, noticing that the sun was going down.

"Oh good, anything I can do to help Fishy?"

"Well, if you want to be helpful girly, go get some firewood." He growled.

"Yes sir!" I said saluting him, "You know, Fishy is such a stereotypical nickname, I need to give you a new one." Some deep thought ensued. "I've got it! From now on you will be known as; Sharkbait. SHARKBAIT HOO HA HA!" I yelled happily, Kisame growled angrily and bared pointed fangs.

"Watch it, little girl." I wandered off happily into the surrounding trees and started collecting a pile of wood, there was a gentle slope running away from the campsite and I followed it downwards as I picked up my kindling.

"Look I found more wood!" I said happily as I dumped my second armful onto the pile. "Continuing the search, sir, in the hope that we will be able to re-build the human race, sir!" I yelled, saluting the fish man again.

* * *

><p>I guess I got too happy with my work or something so once again Life you decided to be a bitch; on the way back up the hill to the campsite with my third armful of wood I caught my foot in a hole of some kind, tripped spectacularly and ended up rolling head over heels down the slope until I was stopped by a tree.<p>

"Ow!" I said loudly, seeing stars. I went to stand up, got halfway and collapsed again with a shooting pain in my right ankle.

The pain subsided a little when I didn't put pressure on it, so I decided that it wasn't broken and made another attempt to get up. This one succeeded and I clambered back up the now dark slope towards the light of the campfire. I limped into the clearing and collapsed onto a log.

"We heard you yell, what happened?" Kisame said, without turning around from stoking the fire.

"Uh, I sort of tripped and fell." I answered sheepishly, "Don't suppose you have a Band-Aid inside those tents passing for cloaks?" Kisame obviously didn't know what a Band-Aid was; Itachi appeared next to me on the log with a poof of ninja ability.

"Show me." I extended my arm and showed him the cut on the underside of my left forearm, and then I lifted my leg and pointed at my now swelling ankle. "Don't move."

Itachi rummaged around the campsite for a few minutes and heated a bowl of water on the fire, returning with it and a cloth he wiped the blood off my arm and bound it tightly. Then he motioned for my ankle, and I lifted it into his hands. Heedless of the pain he was causing me Itachi probed my ankle quickly and looked up.

"It's not broken." He said quietly, "A low level sprain." He took out some more bandages and pulled off my shoe and started wrapping them around my foot and lower leg.

"We have to get stuck with the idiot girl, even if she does have a stupid amount of information." Kisame muttered.

"Oh shut up Sharkbait." I said, reaching down and grabbing a small rock to throw at him. Itachi released my ankle and stood up,

"Keep it elevated." He instructed, walking over to the other side of the clearing and bringing me my bag, I sat it on the log and rested my foot on top of it. Mr Weasel was a well of kindness today, oddly enough, probably to throw me off guard by appearing human. To my chagrin it kind of worked. It helped that he hadn't done anything completely terrifying in a while.

"Thanks 'Tachi." I said cheerily, he said nothing, Kisame snorted and handed me a bowl of something hot and lumpy he appeared to have been cooking over the fire. "Uh, thanks Sharkbait. What is it? You know what; I don't actually want to know." Kisame kind of snarled,

"I caught a rabbit while you were busy falling down." He replied, I shrugged and spooned some of the mess into my mouth. It wasn't bad. Despite my misgivings about the meat's origins I found that I quite liked it, not that I was going to tell the overgrown aquarium piece that.

"Well, it's better than being hit over the head with a truck; but then again a lot of things are." I said as I continued to eat.

Kisame ate like he was routinely starved so the food was dispatched with quickly, after which Kisame without speaking rolled himself up in his cloak and fell promptly asleep; snoring loudly. Itachi set himself up sitting in front of the fire for watch duty.

Or he's a vampire and never sleeps. Either way.

I stayed up for about three minutes because of the pain in my ankle, but the day caught up with me and my eyes drifted shut watching Itachi's silhouette in front of the fire.

* * *

><p>I was woken just before dawn by a chorus of local birds who seemed to be competing to make the highest pitched noise. One group in particular had the competition well in hand; so I felt no sadness whatsoever when Kisame sliced through the tree they were sitting in with his sword.<p>

"Thanks Sharkbait. So, what's for breakfast?" Kisame basically threw a bowl at me; it was filled with some kind of rice porridge like substance. He ate the grey lumpy stuff with as much relish as he had the stew the night before, with a disproportionate amount of relish and at top speed.

"Do you even have taste buds?" I asked, "Or did you sear them off after one too many bowls of this stuff?" He didn't say anything, so I inferred that I was right, and he was just sensitive about his taste deficiencies.

"We need to move on Itachi; we should cover as much ground as possible when we can so we can get out of here faster." Kisame said as soon as he finished shovelling food into his mouth and grabbed my bowl away from me. The large blue fish dumped the rest of the lumpy grey food out onto the ground and kicked it, along with the dirt, onto the ashes of the fire, the bowl disappeared inside his cavernous cloak. I was starting to wonder about those things.

"Hey! I was still eating that!" I said, waving my hands around in the air in Kisame's direction.

Kisame reached over and grabbed my elbow and proceeded to yank me up into the air and deposit me firmly on my feet.

"Time to leave." He said shortly, my eyes were watering from the flare of pain that ran through my ankle, but I could stand and even walk so I wasn't going to complain.

"…A little warning would have been nice." I murmured as I took my first few slightly limping steps. We made it about fifty metres down the road when I caught my bad foot on a rock and went sprawling again.

"Can you stay upright for five minutes!?" Kisame demanded, I pulled myself up into a sitting position,

"Uuh let me think… No." Itachi turned around for a moment, surveyed me sitting on the ground, then turned again and kept walking.

"Kisame, carry her." Itachi said shortly while still walking away.

"Huh?"

"What?" Itachi didn't turn around but if he did he would have seen a livid Kisame and a wary me eyeing each other from our rough two metre height difference, as I was still on the ground and Kisame is stupidly tall. Kisame sighed.

"Come on girly." He said leaning down and swinging me upwards, in an uncharacteristic gesture he was considerate enough of my ankle to hold me in a half-bridal style, so that my legs were straight and not crushed against anything. It was almost perfect until…

I hung my head upside-down over Kisame's arm, "He he, the forest looks funny this way up." I was getting kind of bored.

"I'm not here to entertain you, be quiet girly." Kisame growled back,

"Fine, I'll just do something to entertain myself then…" I thought for a moment, "Got it!"

"Got what?" Kisame asked warily, and then I started singing,

"All around the dark ninja base, Deidara fought with Tobi!" I chorused loudly to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel,

"What the heck is that!?" Kisame said,

"Then Hidan tried to sacrifice them! Pop goes Itachi!" I drew a breath to start the second verse, "Up and down Konoha roads, with-" and Kisame dropped me.

I lay on the ground just in front of his feet, eyes watering from the new bruises I was sure I had just gained.

"That's it! I've put up with a lot over the last day or two; but this is the last straw!" He yelled, stepping over me and walking past Itachi down the road.

"Well, someone's touchy. I hadn't even got to the bit with Tobi and the pink tutu yet." I said, sniffing in distaste. Kisame snorted and started walking again, catching up with Itachi, who was further down the path.

* * *

><p><strong>Slight filler chapter, sorry about that, but I've been too busy to write anything new and I'm running low on reserve stuff that makes any kind of sense at all. Thanks again to all the AMAZING and EPIC people who Favourite-ed or Story alerted. <strong>


	5. Central at last! Now what?

**Thanks to Bznboy and AnimeVamp1997 for the story Alert! AnimeYaoiFangirl100 for the Favourite! Zeakagirl and AmberStar159 for the Favourite **_**and**_** Story Alert! KenaBeliever for the Story Alert, Favourite **_**and **_**an wonderful review! You're all awesome! I feel really bad for not writing anything at all in the last few weeks… Well I wrote about 50 words but that doesn't count…**

* * *

><p>"Hey Weasel; I don't suppose you could give me a hand?" I said from the spot on the ground onto which I'd fallen. When Itachi didn't even pause in his stride, as expected really from Mr Stoic, I sighed and got unsteadily to my feet. "Fine, you got me. It was a lie. I only pretended to be wheelchair bound so I could claim the insurance."<p>

I started walking, apparently too slowly. Without speaking Itachi walked over, grabbed me and swung me up onto his shoulder like so many potatoes in a sack.

"Hey! I object to being thus manhandled!" No response. I squirmed a bit but honestly I was sure my fraying nerves would have withstood a day of walking on my injured foot.

"You should rest it for a while" Itachi said after a few seconds, "Don't wriggle."

There are much more scenic ways to travel than by the shoulder of a ninja, planes, trains and cars are all infinitely superior. Even when walking you get to see more than the cloak-covered back and legs of the person who is carrying you. What's more this method of transport is almost entirely resistant to improvement, being totally unresponsive to suggestions, craning your neck to look at the scenery is also not advised; you will just strain it.

Curse you, Life, I'm trying to have a non-stereotypical adventure with some deranged ninja guys, and I don't need you to start slinging my hormones all around just because one of them is kind of tragic and hot and smells kind of ni-dammit!

Time spent wallowing in my own head without annoying Kisame didn't seem well spent, so I began playing I spy; adjective version.

"Something light." No one said anything, "Also thick."

"Your head?"

"Predictable Sharkbait, and also wrong! It is a wonderful hand knitted Christmas jumper given to you by your second favourite aunty on New Year's Eve because she couldn't finish it in time for Christmas."

"No more games, please." Kisame said, I laughed and then stopped as Itachi manoeuvred me, none too gently, off of his shoulder onto the ground.

"You should walk for a while." He said, moving off into along the path again.

* * *

><p>"I can see it! Over there!" I pulled myself higher in the tree I was using as a lookout and pointed towards the distant city. "Central! Dead ahead!"<p>

"Congratulations girl, will you get out of the tree now?" Kisame said about ten metres above me on another branch, "You don't need to be up here."

I stuck my tongue out at him but slithered down to the last branch where I sat looking uncertainly at the drop to the ground. Kisame appeared under the tree in a puff of smoke and looked upwards, smiling creepily.

"Get down." He said.

"Only if you catch me, Sharkbait." I shot back.

"If you can get up there by yourself, you can get down too." He said, walking off to join Itachi.

"So when I fall out of this tree and break my leg, I guess you won't carry me either?" I grumbled to myself as I hung from the tree limb preparing to drop. I avoided landing on my weak ankle, but substituted this for jarring the other one. I was determined not to mention my ankle as I limped resolutely behind them as we tramped towards the now visible city. As a solution, I treated them to a rendition of 'Pop goes Itachi; campfire version', it went down smashingly. As in, Kisame tried to smash my head in with a tree trunk for singing it.

"We won't get there before nightfall; we'll have to either camp outside the city and go in in the morning or find somewhere to stay inside." Kisame was saying to Itachi.

"As much as I hate to say it; my vote's for camping." I said, "We have as much money for a hotel as we do for a train ticket, and wandering around Central at night, while not dangerous for you two probably is for the people living there." Kisame glared at me. "Just a thought…"

"Don't move, girly." Kisame said as soon as we got to a place they decided was a suitable campsite, and immediately launched into their preparation ritual. "If you try to do anything you'll most likely lose a limb or something and funny as that would be you'd probably be even more of a pain afterwards."

So I sat on the rock Itachi had dumped me on, humming 'Pop goes Itachi' to myself quietly and watching the two ninja set up camp around me. They never really did much to set up an actual campsite; just set a fire and sometimes dragged in something to sit on.

"Have you ever thought about using your cloaks as tents?" I suggested, "It'd be really effective. Then, you could sell them and make money for the organisation while building popularity!"

Both ninja ignored my suggestions; Itachi checked the cut on my arm, poked my ankle and vanished into the trees for wood. Kisame, housewife, or fish, in the making that he is, was stirring something over the fire.

"Is this all you have to make?" I asked poking at yet another bowl of rice gruel stuff, "Don't you have any pasta or something?" Kisame just stared at me "Oh never mind, I'm hungry enough not to care." I downed most of what was in my bowl, gave it back to the shark-man and got up off of my rock. "I'll just go to sleep, good night or something."

I pulled my jumper on over my clothes and fell asleep with my head on my bag as Itachi set himself up in front of the fire for guard duty again, staring silently at the flames.

* * *

><p>True to their word, we were only camping outside the city until the morning; Kisame dragged me, once again literally, out of my slumber at first light so we could begin the walk towards the city of Amestris.<p>

"Before we go in, can I just stress something?" I said as we neared the edge of the town, "Sharkbait, someone will have a heart attack if they see you in all your fishy glory, and then you will start a riot. Weasel, your Sharingan is not necessary unless we're actually fighting someone, I swear, save your hallowed Uchiha eyes please."

Itachi said nothing but his Sharingan didn't turn on, and Kisame performed a jutsu of some kind and removed his blue-ness and fish-ness, though he was still freakishly tall.

"Also, the fangs don't really make you look harmless." I mentioned, he said nothing.

The city of Central was as busy and bustling as I had been expecting, I looked over at Kisame and Itachi to see if they were surprised at all, but Kisame wasn't looking at me and Itachi was doing his best interpretation of an expressionless log. It was a good one.

"Come; my comrades!" I said loudly and marched in a random direction, Itachi following silently, Kisame grumbling.

"Oh, look it's the place where that branch of the library that only State Alchemists could enter used to be, they had some great books there." I said as we strolled through the crowds.

"Why do we care about an old pile of rubble?" Kisame growled,

"You never know, there could be a book left." I said optimistically.

The further we ventured into the city the more excited I became, the more things I wanted to go see and the more I annoyed Kisame. I pointed out Central Station and Laboratory 5.

"Some crazy stuff went down there; let me tell you! Well actually I can't tell you anything, but it was a great story!"

* * *

><p>"Will you stop running off and shut up!" Kisame bellowed at me, causing a few passers-by to stop and stare at him. "We are not on a holiday here!" He said grabbing my arm preparing to drag me down the street to Itachi who hadn't stopped walking, "We are trying to gather information!"<p>

"Well then, we should stop wasting our time in front of scary lab buildings and head to the centre of all of the action!" I pushed off of the tall metal gate I had been leaning against and ran down the street to catch up to Itachi. "Come Weasel, come Sharkbait, we must head to the centre of all the action; the place where all the parties happen! There's lots of information there!"

"Where?"

"The Military Headquarters of Central of course!" I crowed, "It's absolutely _the_ place to be for people like us! Let's go!" I barrelled off into the crowd in search of Central HQ.

About ten minutes later I realised that I had no idea where I was. Every street looked exactly the same, and the flow of the crowd was relentless, buffeting me in whichever direction it wanted to. I had totally run out of recognisable landmarks; we could have been on the moon for all I knew.

"Uh." I said, turning back to Itachi and Kisame "Did that map we found include Central City in detail?"

They glared at me.

"Not to worry! Uh, I know exactly what to do!" I dove sideways into the bustling crowd. "Um, excuse me? Hello?" I got jostled by busy Central-ites going about their daily business, "Sorry, can you help me? I don't suppose you know wher-whoa!"

I tripped on something, bounced off a wall and barrelled headlong into a bike, knocking the person riding it flying. I groaned in pain, having hit my head hard on the bike and the ground when I landed.

"Hey, watch it! Oh, are you alright? Let me help you up." A girl's voice said, I opened my eyes and took the hand in front of them. I was pulled to my feet surprisingly quickly and almost fell over again. The girl steadied me, laughing slightly.

It sounded familiar; I looked up from my feet and gaped at the person in front of me. She had long blonde hair and sky blue eyes and she was wearing a white tank top and a short black skirt, I craned around her and sure enough a heavy looking metal tool-box was lying on the ground by the bike.

I was standing in front of the Automail genius from Resembool; Winry Rockbell. I repressed the urge to ask for an autograph as Kisame and Itachi shoved through the crowd towards us.

"Say, you wouldn't know how to get to Central HQ would you? My friends and I are sort of lost."

"Sure I know the way! I was heading there right now! I'll take you with me." Winry said, "I'm Winry Rockbell by the way." She said, picking up her bike and tool kit and starting to shove through the crowd again.

"I'm Catherine Bryson, or Cathy." I returned, "The hulking beast is Kisame, and the grumpy silent one is Itachi."

"Nice to meet you." Winry smiled, "Good thing we did too, you were sort of heading in the opposite direction to Central HQ." I laughed.

"It's my first time here, but not yours I assume?"

"Nah, I come here every now and then for a little work. I'm really into Automail, you know. It's my passion."

We chatted all the way through the busy streets to the gates of Central Headquarters. When we arrived at the gate Winry smiled at the guard on duty and showed him a letter she had in her pocket and he opened the gate for her, I'd offered to carry Winry's tool box, so I slid in behind her, Itachi and Kisame following behind.

"Here we are boys; Central HQ." I said to the two Akatsuki members and then turned to Winry again. "Where're you headed Winry?"

"Oh, I need to go see that idiot Ed…" She trailed off into murderous muttering about broken Automail, "I'm not sure where he is though, so I'll have to go see Colonel Mustang first."

"Perfect! We'll come with you! Once again you are saving us from getting lost!" I said hoisting her toolbox back onto my shoulder and marching off after her into the big building.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's it for this chapter, because I have nothing else written! In fact, I've only just written the last 700 words today in a fit of inspiration. (Okay fine, I bribed myself, if I write a bunch today I can watch Death Note; Relight tomorrow.) See you in the next chapter in which hopefully we will see the debut of our favourite Alchemists!<strong>

**DTFrogget**


	6. Fun with Itachi

**MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! Welcome to Chapter Six! Thanks to Storygirl11 for the Favourite! FoxGoddess2416, MusicFiend666 and HikariScath for the Story Alert! Also to vanitas1776 for the Story alert and an interesting question! I GOT THREE REVIEWS! Two from AnimeVamp1997! THANK YOU! Also a big huge mega MECCHA THANK YOU to NicoXChiku says Cata for Favourite-ing, Story Alert-ing and being the THIRD REVIEWER!**

* * *

><p>"He's not here?" I said staring dumbfounded at Winry, she had left us outside the office while she went inside to ask for an audience with the dark-haired military man on our behalf. She'd been in the room for about a minute.<p>

"Colonel Mustang is out on another assignment apparently; the only staff member in there was Warrant Officer Falman and he didn't seem totally sure of when the Colonel would be back." I leant heavily against the wall of the hallway and sunk to the floor. "It's odd actually; that there's so few people here at the moment."

I had kind of been hoping that once we got to Central and Headquarters we would suddenly be transported into a fanfiction and I would magically go back home in the blink of an eye.

"So, what's the plan now?" Kisame's voice asked.

"We still need information." Itachi replied, a hand latched painfully onto my arm and dragged me up, "You said this was the headquarters of the leader of this country, there must be other places to get information."

"Perhaps, Itachi, perhaps." I said, "But now is definitely not the time to go wandering around, unless you're in super-secret ninja mode." I said, doing my best impression of a ninja engaging the aforementioned mode. Looking undoubtedly amazing and impressive.

"Not only are we not supposed to be here, but if it's found that we know certain things, we're probably all dead." I continued from the floor, "We need to see Mustang, because he can get us to Edward Elric."

I looked down at Itachi's hand, which had reasserted a strong grip on my arm, "Nice nail polish, Weasel. Can I borrow it? Purple _is_ my favourite colour."

"Shut up." Kisame said offhand and shoved me hard in the small of the back, propelling me down the corridor. "The exit's this way, we should hit the streets."

"Sure thing Sharkbait, ask the general public for information; I'm sure that'll go swimmingly." I said shaking my arm to get Itachi to let go, which he didn't do. We set off down the hallway.

"This place doesn't seem very well protected for the military head of a nation." Kisame muttered I stopped walking as I realised something.

"Uh, guys?" They both looked at me, "I know we haven't met any guards or anything yet, but I'm betting we will and you probably don't want to start something with them, just for the sake of anonymity."

"Quick exit then." Itachi said walking over to a window and peering out of it, "Kisame, grab her."

"What?"

"Again!?" Kisame and I yelled.

"Yes." Kisame sighed explosively,

"Fine." Itachi forced the window open and jumped out of it. Kisame swung me up onto his back and followed him.

* * *

><p>Flying through the air on the back of an insane blue ninja is not a mode of travel I would endorse. It has a few notable side effects, one of which is a considerable amount of nausea; enough in my case to make me reacquaint my breakfast with the wider world.<p>

"Please don't do that again." I cast around for something to wipe my mouth on, Kisame wrinkled his nose.

"I could say the same to you, don't get that on my cloak, girl." Kisame said hitching his tent-cloak up a little off the ground.

Itachi threw his water bottle at me and it bounced off my head. Kisame caught it and threw it at me again; I caught it this time and rinsed my mouth out.

"Thanks Weasel." I said hefting his water back, he caught it and it vanished inside his black hole of a tent-cloak.

"Itachi, what are we going to do with her?" Kisame asked as we edged out onto the street and started walking.

"You could've just left me behind at Headquarters; I could have tried to find Mustang and get the hell out of here." The two of them ignored me.

"Kisame, maybe you should take her." Kisame shot me a look that, combined with his very pointy teeth, was pretty startling.

"Are you trying to kill me, Weasel Uchiha? Death by crazy fish-person wasn't really how I imagined my demise you know."

"Fine, keep up." Itachi said shortly before marching off into the crowd as Kisame headed in the opposite direction, I ran to catch up.

"Do you always walk so fast, Weasel?" I said, skipping slightly as I got left behind by the ninja and his speed walk of doom.

"Yes." He continued to stride down the bustling streets of Central like his tent-cloak was on fire.

"Oh. So, what are we looking for here?" Itachi didn't reply but ducked suddenly down a side street and across the park at the end of it towards the bank of buildings on the other side. He stopped outside a particularly dingy building with an equally grime encrusted sign proclaiming 'bar'. "Oooh, taking the edge off with a drink? My mother would not approve of my presence. Uh, Itachi you haven't forgotten that we have no money, right?"

"That doesn't matter. Come on." He paused in the doorway and looked back at me. I saw a challenge in his stare and stepped forward to the door. Inside it was loud and smoky. It was still fairly early in the day but there were still people inside, sitting at tables and along the bar drinking and laughing. Itachi walked over to the bar and sat down, he glared at me over his shoulder and I realised I was still standing in the doorway; I crossed the room and sat next to him.

He was right about not needing any money, by the time I had fully adjusted to the low light level and high sound level the man Itachi was sitting next to had bought him a drink and was talking as if to an old friend. I swung my legs and sipped the water Itachi slid me as he conversed with the man. Over the noise I could only catch the occasional word, "we", "train" and "furniture".

"Gah! What-?" I exclaimed, feeling icy water trickling down my legs; I was so engrossed in trying to listen that I didn't see the harassed looking waiter trip over a drunken patron until the pitcher of ice water he was carrying landed in my lap.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" the waiter said, standing up and rubbing his head where it had hit the floor.

"That's alright." He stayed only long enough after gathering the glass on the floor to tell me that his name was Felix before he had to rush off.

I sat back on my stool, facing outwards this time so I could survey the people. Itachi's new friend got up and walked away, somewhat tipsily towards the bathrooms at the back of the bar.

"Hey Weasel, have you noticed that drunk people almost always-?" In the middle of my sentence Itachi yanked me off of my seat and pulled me towards the door, as inconspicuously as possible he dragged me outside and onto the path again. We started walking.

"What the heck was that!?" I asked as Itachi sped up to his ninja-walk-of-doom pace, saying nothing. "Jeez Uchiha, where's the fire? You didn't start one did you?"

"No."

"Oh, good. So what's the hurry then? You're walking like you just stole that guy's wallet… You didn't, did you?"

"Of course not." I sighed in relief, "If I took the whole thing he'd definitely notice." Itachi reached into his marquee-cloak and pulled out a wad of money.

"Itachi!" I yelled, the ninja raised an eyebrow at me. I could have sworn that one side of his mouth looked infinitesimally higher than the other.

"You claim to know so much about the Akatsuki; and yet you're surprised?"

"I wasn't _surprised _exactly." I said quickly, although to be honest I had been placing Itachi on a pedestal far above the other Akatsuki members, and had forgotten his criminal status.

We kept walking until we reached the doorway of another dingy bar.

"Not _another_ one!" I exclaimed, "My socks are almost dry!" Itachi said nothing but walked straight past the bar towards the dank alleyway next to it, where I could see a few shady figures leaning, smoking and drinking.

"Try not to draw attention to yourself, don't say anything if you can avoid it.." Itachi grabbed my hand and dragged me into the alleyway. When we got there he integrated himself into the group, leaving me standing _very_ awkwardly on the fringes.

One of the guys started laughing uproariously and another, for seemingly no reason, reached out towards me, slopping alcohol in my direction. This caused me to jump about a metre, stumble sideways away from the foul smelling liquid that just managed to coat the ends of my shoes and into the wall, just remembering to laugh nervously.

All of this probably resulting in me pulling off the drunken act quite effectively. After that, I stood silently near the filthy wall and waited for Itachi to be done drinking or stealing or whatever.

All of a sudden someone grabbed me from behind and held a rusty knife to my throat at the same time. There was a moment of stillness, and then the two men collapsed onto the ground and Itachi was walking towards me.

"Well, at least no one threw up on me." I said shakily, stepping over the man's arm. Itachi looked blankly at me then without so much as blinking strode to the end of the alleyway and scaled the building in front of him.

I immediately left the alleyway and pretended to look in a shop window to avoid attracting attention.

"We should keep moving." I jumped a metre into the air when Itachi all but appeared directly behind me.

"Sorry." I said to the man whose feet I had jumped onto before Itachi dragged me away again. My ankle was throbbing again - I'd landed on it awkwardly - unfortunately for me nothing could deter Itachi from moving inexhaustibly forward.

"Jeez Uchiha, do you ever rest? Or sleep? I have never seen you sleep!" Itachi said nothing, just increased his ninja speed-walk of doom to Warp 5. "What's the rush? Are the police behind us? Is Kisame behind us?"

Still no response, I was beginning to feel a bit ignored, this along with the throbbing in my ankle, my still squishy socks and clothes as well as the lingering taste of vomit wasn't putting me in the best mood.

It began to rain lightly, and I looked up accusingly at the clouds. The crowds, spurred on by the rain and their apparent unanimous forgetting of their umbrellas became even less welcoming.

After the fifth elbow to the stomach and an incident with a box of vegetables that left my wiping rotten apple out of my eyes I was ready to snap. All of a sudden Itachi stopped at the entrance to a store without a sign; inside the windows I could see flowers and a few shelves of bric-a-brac. Itachi stood me firmly on the corner.

"Don't move." He said and strode into the shop.

I tried to do what he said and not move a millimetre, but the constant stream of Central-ites shoved me to and fro easily and one rushed and harried-looking individual shoved me right onto the street where I was subsequently tripped into a fresh puddle of thick black mud.

I dragged myself out of the way of a passing car and leant against the shopfront, a minute or two later Itachi appeared next to me in a wave of flowers and dust scented air. Without speaking I collapsed onto the ground near his feet.

"It's time to move, not rest." His hand shot out and gripped my upper arm, "Move." I dug my heels in, I was fed up. I rounded on Itachi and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Or what?!" I yelled, "You'll kill me? I have a better idea. I have no family here. I don't have anyone besides you: why don't you just vanish off the face of the earth, and leave me completely alone? That'll turn out great! I'm sure I 'll be fine!"

I didn't even see Itachi move, but there was a flash of light as he whipped out a kunai and threw it, the blade sliced through my skin just as a hand closed around my throat. The kunai clattered onto the ground and the pressure around my throat increased, my eyes were closed but they snapped open as I was shoved sharply against the wall, my head snapping back sharply against the bricks. I caught one last glimpse of Itachi, eyes flaming red as he turned and vanished into the crowd.

Head spinning as lights appeared in front of my eyes, I slid down the wall to the ground, focusing on taking a complete breath in and letting it out again. My foot clattered against the kunai and as my vision cleared I reached out to pick it up, looking in surprise at the blood staining the blade, identical to the line running down my arm.

Clutching the kunai in one hand and pressing the other one over my upper arm I spun on the pavement, searching the crowd for any sign of something familiar. I only ran a few steps before the pain from my arm exploded behind my eyes. The rain intensified, droplets stinging my face as I stumbled into a doorway and sank onto the ground. There I used the hand still clutching the kunai to wipe at the tears covering my face.

Maybe I've been underestimating you; Life, because as my vision cleared I could see the approach of a large figure with glowing eyes and clanking footsteps.

"Hey, what's wrong?" A soft voice issue from the figure, I sniffled and rubbed my eyes again, "You're hurt!" the figure said, "You'd better come with me."

Large gloved hands gently gathered me up and the figure, which was actually a large suit of armour, moved off through the crowd. The huge metal arms closed around me and shielded me from the rain and the people as they walked.

"My name's Alphonse Elric, can you tell me your name?" I looked up and saw the familiar helmet-face of the younger Elric brother.

"Nice to meet you Al, my name's Cathy." I said smiling to myself as my vision blurred and clouded; of all the people to meet I had to meet Alphonse Elric.

* * *

><p><strong>I am so sorry this took such a horrendous amount of time, I apologise hugely to anyone who's still with me after the obscenely long break; but I didn't have a finished chapter ready and I've been in Japan for three weeks over the Christmas New Year period, and recovering from a slight concussion after that. When I added the thank you paragraph to this bit it got so long I had to split them up. I'm also sorry about the quality of this chapter; it was a bit pieced together. I'll see you next time!<strong>

**DTFrogget**


	7. An Alchemist and a Big Question

**Thanks to:**

**Storygirl111, D.L.S and Seiga Niko for REVIEWING! **

**AngelofDarkness, I tried my best, thanks for the review and Alert! You rule! **

**More thanks to incorruptus-malus for Favourite-ing! **

**TheShadoWalker16 thanks for Alerting _(especially considering it was May and I hadn't updated in ages, I admire your optimism_)! **

**Also to XxBishxX and NotJustASidekick7 for Alert-ing AND Favourite-ing! **

**Thank you to whatisee for… Alerting? Following? Is that what it's called now? Whatever, thank you for doing it! **

**Thanks to SeeFeelHearMusic for Favouriting and Following! I really admire _your _optimism too!**

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**

* * *

><p>"First stray cats, now you're picking up people too?!" A voice was saying,<p>

"Brother, I couldn't leave her!" That was Al! I opened my eyes, looked straight into a lamp and shut them again.

"I didn't say leave her!" The first voice said. I realised why it sounded so familiar; Al had said brother, as in Edward Elric; the one person I'd wanted to find!

I shot into a sitting position, looking around blearily and standing in front of the window, contrasted against the early afternoon light, I saw a figure with a flaming red jacket and bright gold hair; Edward Elric. Before anyone had time to so much as blink the door burst open and Winry stalked into the room;

"I finally found you guys; those military jerks need to- Cathy?" She stopped when she caught sight of me and stood in the doorway, looking utterly bemused.

"Wait, you know each other?" Al said,

"What the Hell's going on here?" Ed said, looking between the two of us.

"We met earlier today, I showed her the way to Central HQ…" Winry said a little uncertainly.

"What were you doing there?" Ed asked,

"Long story short, I'm kind of stranded and need a way home… Itachi and Kisame too."

"What happened to those guys, why aren't they with you?" Winry said,

"They were kind of part of my ticket home…" My arm throbbed and the tears welled up again as I relived my last encounter with Itachi, I rubbed them away quickly, "I probably won't see them again though."

"Don't worry; we'll help you out as much as we can." Winry said, handing me a tissue. I was about to say something when Ed collapsed with a yelp.

"Damn it." He said, dragging himself up onto a chair, "My knee gave out again. Winry?" The mechanic leapt for her toolbox.

"What have you two been up to this time?" She tutted,

"My knees giving out and the ankle joint feels loose, some of my fingers are a bit sluggish." Ed ploughed on without answering; Al seemed to remember some task left undone and shuffled among the papers on the desk.

I yawned, suddenly tired again as the day's events crashed over me again. Still wrapped in the warm blanket, and noticing for the first time my clean dry clothes, I closed my eyes again and was almost instantly asleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up gently to the sound of tweeting birds, traffic and an argument about someone's cat floating through the open window. Peaceful. I sat up yawning and prised my eyes open. I was still on the couch in Ed and Al's hotel room. Ed was sitting at the table looking very seriously at a newspaper, I set my feet on the floor and he turned around.<p>

"Oh, you're up."

"Morning. Wait, is it morning?" I said looking around for a clock, and not finding one, Ed chuckled.

"It's ten o'clock." He said, looking at his pocket watch, "You slept for a while."

"Where are Winry and Al?" I looked around the empty room,

"They went shopping for some parts for my Automail."

"I see they took your leg with them" I grinned referring to Ed's missing Automail leg.

"Probably just to make sure I don't go anywhere." Ed joked, "Anyway, would you like to have a shower or something? The bathroom's through that door over there." He pointed and I almost tripped over my own feet in my eagerness in getting to my first shower in _way _too long, and then slipped on the blanket and fell down anyway. It hurt; no more eagerness for a while.

A disgusting mix of dirt, leaves, twigs and a dead bug or two pooled at my feet as I scrubbed myself within a millimetre of death and combed the tangles out of my hair. I changed into some fresh clothes from my bag and headed back out to the other room. Ed was standing behind the kitchen counter drinking some water.

"Better?" He asked, grinning at my obvious relief.

"Heaps better, camping in the woods for days on end and then wandering around this city is horror for your cleanliness; I think my skin's a few shades lighter now." Ed chuckled and, gripping the counter for balance, hopped skilfully to the end. There was still a good seven metres between him and the table.

"Want a hand?" I offered, standing up but not making the effort to move closer,

"I can do it." The expected answer. He almost made it but just as me was about to reach the table his foot caught on an uneven part of the rug and Ed toppled forwards, I was still standing, but not close enough to help, which didn't stop me from trying. Luckily Ed managed to steady himself and collapse onto the chair, I sat in the one next to him.

"Man I wish Winry could've brought a spare or something." I couldn't think of anything to say in reply, so I didn't, I focused on trying to re-bandage my arm, which was an awkward enterprise since the cut was high up on my right arm, but I was making a valiant attempt.

"Let me help you with that." Ed interrupted, reaching over.

"Gladly, I wasn't making any headway." I relinquished control of the bandage to him.

"I'm assuming you got this from that triangular knife thing you were holding?" He motioned to the kunai, which was sitting on the table in front of the First Aid Kit, I reached out and picked it up and gripped it tightly.

"It's called a kunai; the guys I came here with use them when they fight."

"It's sharp, whatever it is. This cut's very clean, and not too deep either, it should heal pretty quickly. So your friends did this to you?" Ed asked, I shrugged, the movement pulled on the bandage and made it unravel slightly, as well as causing the wound to twinge.

"Sorry. It-it was my fault anyway. Although Itachi was being pretty annoying I completely over-reacted. But that isn't the important question here, the important question is; have you ever heard of alchemy that can transport people? Not Alchemy that powers a train or something but Alchemy that can move something from one place to another?" Ed thought about it for a minute, and then shook his head slowly.

"I can't really believe that something like that could be possible. That's not really the way Alchemy is used."

"Not even anything a tiny bit similar?" Ed shook his head again.

"I feel like I'm missing something here, what's the bigger story?"

"I'll tell you later, promise."

At that moment Winry made her second timely interruption and burst through the door with Al in tow. They were both carrying huge brown paper bags stuffed to the brim with a mixture of mechanical parts and various food items, mostly vegetables.

"Alright! We got the part I needed, and some other great stuff I wanted." Winry said cheerfully.

"We picked up some food as well." Al said.

"That's great to hear guys. Can I have my leg back now?"

"In a minute, I still have a few things to do, have some patience!" Winry said placing Ed's leg in the middle of the table and going to work on it, it took about fifteen minutes for her to finish it; Al regaled us with a story about a busker he saw while in town while we waited.

"He swallowed flaming swords and then released a flock of bright red doves from his sleeves! It was really cool brother!" He said excitedly.

"That sounds amazing! I love wondering how they do that kind of thing, though it's never as much fun once you figure it out." I said.

"Done!" Winry piped up from the table, "Let's get this baby back on!"

"Right now?" Ed moaned, Winry got up from the table and brought the leg over to where he was sitting.

"Of course, aren't you in a hurry, as usual? The faster we get this back on, the faster you get out of here and back to whatever you do! Ready?" Ed sighed.

"As I'll ever be." He took a deep breath, and then his face contorted in pain as Winry made the connection.

"Help my lie him down." Winry commended, we spread Ed out over the couch he was lying on, and Winry started the tricky reconnection of the limb. Al ushered me away from the couch and busied himself in the kitchen.

"How are you feeling now, Cathy?" He said.

"A whole suitcase of kittens better, actually. Some sleep did an amazing amount of good." I replied, "I kind of wish I'd been up early enough to come with you two, but I had a great conversation with Ed anyway." If a suit of armour could look suspicious, Al did.

"I don't think I'm ever really ready for that." Ed cracked from the couch between small twinges of pain.

"Shut up and rest." Winry said, closing her toolbox and standing up.

While Ed rested the rest of us were damned to complete silence, so we crept around like mice while he slept off the reattachment. He was almost unnaturally quiet and still, aside from one or two fleeting frowns. It almost looked like we wasn't breathing and I found myself looking closely for the rise and fall of his chest each time I went past.

"Right!" I jumped into the air with a small yelp as Ed stood up from the couch and stretched, "Get ready to go guys!"

"What? Go where?" Winry said.

"On a search for clues!" Ed declared, "You;" He continued, pointing at me, "Are looking for something. Powerful unknown alchemy and that is exactly the kind of thing I'm interested in!" He walked over to the door and started shoving his boots onto his feet.

"Wait, where exactly are we going?" Al asked.

"To Scieszka's house of course!" Ed called from the hallway outside the room, "Are you guys coming or what!?" I shoved my feet into my shoes and raced after him. Scieszka was the obvious choice. So obvious I could hardly believe I hadn't thought of it before; with a house full of books and a photographic memory she would have the information I wanted, if anyone did, or at least _something_ that would get me there.

Two officers that I didn't recognise apart from their uniforms were standing in the hotel lobby; they snapped a salute to Ed when they saw him.

"Guys this is Cathy, Cathy this is Brian and Maria; let's get out of here!" He raced away,

"Sergeant Brian Garret." The redheaded officer said, saluting of course.

"Warrant officer Maria Martel, nice to meet you." I smiled at both of them as we followed Ed outside; he had already dived into one of the two waiting cars.

"We're going to Scieszka's!" He called, "Let's go!" I got into the second car with Winry and we sped off onto the streets of Central.

* * *

><p>When we arrived at Scieszka's house Ed ran up to the door and started thumping on it vigorously.<p>

"Scieszka?" He called, trying the door handle and finding it unlicked, "This feels way too familiar." He muttered as we squeezed inside the door into the tiny, book filled apartment. I stared in awe as we walked through the room. It felt both larger and smaller than it looked at the same time; the amount of space we had to move in was limited, but the number of books was astronomical. Forget working at a library, Scieszka could start one of her own. Volumes ranged in thickness and size from tiny pocket books to those so big they could be surfboards. They were stacked up in impossibly high walls, forming narrow rows.

"Scieszka?" Ed called again, "I swear, if you're buried under a pile of books again, we're going to have serious words." I moved a little closer to Al, remembering an incident in my school's library and the infamous one in the Fullmetal Alchemist manga.

"I'm over here guys!" A voice called out from our left, "Sorry I didn't hear you earlier; the books deaden the sound quite a bit." Scieszka emerged from the maze of books and smiled at the assembled people.

"Great to see you, Scieszka! We need some information as quick as you can." Ed said,

"Sure, what about?"

"Have you heard of any new, experimental Alchemy recently, or even anything odd that was Alchemy related?" Scieszka paused to think, staring off into the distance as she searched through the huge ton of information in her head.

"I think I did see something, let me go get it." She turned and dived back into the tiny labyrinth of books. She emerged a few minutes later with a newspaper, "Here it is, on page five." She said, handing the paper over to Ed.

"'The State Alchemist by the name of Gerald Lowe," Ed read, "'also known as The Phoenix Alchemist, had little to say about the recent destruction of a large portion of his workshop.' This guy's been up to something alright! Look at the picture!" He pointed to the small black and white photo accompanying the article; I leaned in along with Al and Winry to examine it.

"Uh, what am I looking at exactly? Apart from the décor I don't see anything worth getting too offended about." I said.

"The hole! It's clearly Alchemic in origin! We've got to find this guy! Got anything else Scieszka?"

"There was another article a couple of weeks before that one, but it was just about him building that new workshop, nothing more about his work or where he lives."

"Thanks anyway, I'll see you later!" He turned and raced out through the books to the door.

"Where are we going this time, Ed?" Warrant Officer Maria yelled exasperatedly, following after him.

"The new First Branch of the Library!" He yelled back, once again already sitting in the car.

* * *

><p>"How long does he usually spend at these places?" I asked Winry, head in my hands. We were sitting together on the stairs outside the First Branch, not having been allowed in with Ed and Al, who promised they would be as quick as possible, "It's got to have been an hour by now."<p>

"Forty minutes, even when he promises to be quick, that would be a record. There's a lot of stuff here after all. They collected quite a bit of it again after the fire you know." I nodded sadly, looking up at the overcast sky.

"If it rains, I'm going in regardless of what that crazy troll lady at the desk said."

"It looks more like it'll just stay cloudy like this, at least until nightfall." Winry said. I was interrupted form asking about the next day's forecast, since weather seemed to be an appropriate topic, by clattering footsteps behind me. Al's were instantly recognisable and I turned around.

"We found out where his workshop is, let's go!" Ed said,

"You are always in such a rush," Winry grumbled, getting up off the step and starting to walk down, "I'm sure he's not going anywhere."

* * *

><p>The drive to the Alchemist's house was only 15 minutes, but I jiggled impatiently the whole way, Ed's excitement was contagious and I had given up containing my hope ages ago. It was a small modest house, only different from the ones on either side of it through the choice of paint and curtains, and also the shack-like structure leaning against the side of it; the Alchemist's workshop. Ed vaulted out of the car and ran up to the door of the house.<p>

"Mr Lowe?" he said, knocking on the door, "Are you home?" There was a pause as Ed continued knocking, until the door swung open.

"What do you want?" He said roughly, eyes skating over our party, completely missing the soldiers standing just out of his eye line off to either side of the house to keep watch.

"We wanted to ask you a few questions about your research." Ed said pulling out his State Alchemist pocket watch and flashing it, Gerald Lowe's eyebrows almost fell off his face; they got so high so quick.

"What business do you have with my research?"

"I'm interested in any information about a rumour we heard about some new and unusual Alchemy." Ed said, "Do you know anything about it?"

"If you're interested in new Alchemy why don't you go create some of your own instead of bothering me about mine, go away." He stepped back and started to close the door, Ed shoved his foot into the doorway. I shoved past him inside the house, barrelled into Gerald with all of my weight and managed to push him onto the floor.

One of his arms has underneath him; I knelt on the other one and positioned my other knee on his stomach. I whipped the kunai out of my bag and held it against his throat.

"Okay, you have a choice here, you can tell me everything we want to know, or so help me I _will_ paint these walls with your blood and feed your carcass to the birds." I said, the blood drained from the Alchemists face, Al stepped up behind me and towered over the both of us.

"What were you researching?" He asked.

"I've just been researching different methods of powering Alchemic transmutations. The military is always searching for new ways of supercharging their soldiers and weapons."

"Like the Philosopher's Stone?" Ed asked, Gerald nodded.

"I've turned up a few stories and tons of rumours about it, and there've been other's too."

"Others like what?" I said, Gerald's eyes flicked to my face and then away again.

"The-the clan of the North wrote stories about both the Philosopher's Stone, it features in their creation stories as well as others, although the main focus of most of the texts I studied is on a slightly different power source."

"A different source? What is it?" Al asked.

"They call it 'The Great Key' and it has an almost limitless amount of power, it was treasured by their early Alchemists, many of their myths and legends feature it, often in conjunction with the Stone."

"There are books on this at the library?" Ed questioned, he nodded.

"Alright, let's clear out." I said in my normal voice, standing up and returning the kunai to my bag, "You've been most helpful Gerald." We marched out for the house and closed the door on the still stunned Alchemist.

"Back to the library, I suppose." Winry said, just as I felt the first drop of rain land on my head.

"Okay, that's it!"

* * *

><p>"You know, it's not a whole lot more interesting inside the library, looking at books you aren't allowed to read is only so fun." I said, slumping forward in my uncomfortable wooden chair.<p>

"Let's just get out here; we'll meet them back at the hotel." Winry said standing up, we ducked out into the rain and ran to one of the cars.

* * *

><p>"That was quite a performance back there; where on earth did that come from?" Winry said as we turned the corner at the end of the street.<p>

"I played a mob boss once in a school play; that character pretty much became my other self." I shrugged.

"Cathy," Winry said into the following silence, "What happened with those guys you were with earlier? What made you so upset?"

"Well, they were kind of my only hope to find help, to get home. Even now that I've found Ed, I can't leave them here. We didn't part of the best of terms, or on any terms really and it's totally my fault and I feel awful about it."

"Home?"

"We're from so far away, I just want to get back there, and they should go too."

"Don't you have family that's looking for you?"

"Probably, but they'll never find me here." Winry looked so quizzical I couldn't stop the words form tumbling out of my mouth, "Winry, what do you know about parallel universes?"

* * *

><p><strong>I MISS THIS STORY SO MUCH! Once again I apologise massively, I'm afraid school has me snowed under with work while I'm there, and since class now extends to Sundays too, I have a lot less time than before for writing… That's my cruddy excuse this time… Sorry! It's been so long since I wrote this that I could barely remember what person I was writing this story in! :S <strong>


	8. Pancakes, Trains and Imaginary Words

**Big huge thanks to Storygirl11 for reviewing; it made my week! =O That was ten! A decade! (of reviews… 0.O) Double digits! The big one oh! **

**Seiga Niko was the eleventh reviewer! Now it's a palindrome! Thank you!**

**Kickaha, muadib2, Wolfpup, idiotswordsmanlover and GrimmyRayne thanks for Following!**

** muffin is good, thanks for favourite-ing and following!**

**To the "Guest" who reviewed; congrats on finding us! I hope you enjoy your stay.**

* * *

><p>The drive back to the hotel was agonisingly long. Traffic jams two streets long, a tree across the road; you were doing everything in your power, Life, to drag out the drive as long as possible. The minutes after I let slip my true origins made up absolutely the longest awkward silence of my life. At length Winry pulled herself out of the blank stare she was giving me and voiced a question,<p>

"Well, I guess that would explain the clothes. But how on earth did you get here?"

"No pun intended, right?" I laughed. "Honestly I have no idea." This seemed to open the floodgates, questions poured over me at breakneck speed; where was I from then? Was I sure that I couldn't tell her what happened? I felt like she was still trying to tell if I was completely insane or not.

I told her everything I could remember about my journey to Central with Itachi and Kisame, mentioning that I passed through Resembool. I explained everything I could, finishing my story with my only pieces of evidence, my school uniform and maths textbook. Winry was very obviously less than convinced. I stared at the two items, desperately racking my brains for a way they could be useful to me.

"Wait! What year is it? 19-something right?" I got a very strange look for this question as the car pulled into the driveway. We dashed out into the rain and ran for the door.

"Odd question, but it fits the theme. It's 1917." I grinned and held out my textbook again, open to the very first page.

"Check out the publishing details." At that moment feet pounded on the hallway outside and the door burst open, Ed ran into the room excitedly waving a sheaf of papers, Al was carrying a small stack of books.

"You'll never guess what we found!" Ed yelled.

"Did you find something about the Philosopher's Stone? Or transporting stuff?" I asked.

"Both, in a way. Hey, Winry, what's wrong?" The blonde hadn't looked up from my math textbook, "What's that?"

"Cathy, this says… 'First published in 2010.'" She

"Yeah, that one's a second print actually; they fixed some mistakes from the first one. My teacher found most of them and sent them a letter." I said, trying to smile encouragingly. I don't think Winry took in a single word.

"What are you talking about?" Ed said, walking across the room towards Winry.

"Well, this wasn't really when I had planned on telling this story, but…" I took a deep breath and, for the second time that night, I launched into my story.

* * *

><p>"No way. There's no proof. You can fake a page in a book." I deflated, looking forlornly at the determined golden eyes.<p>

"I'm not very convincing, I guess. Don't you think I'd pick a less ridiculous story, if I was just trying to fool you?" I tried, "Have you ever seen a book printed like this before?" I gestured at my textbook. He didn't say anything, Winry cut in.

"What did you find at the library?" I hoped it was something that would help.

"Oh, um." Ed looked back at his notes, "Well, there's this cult sort of thing; The Phoenix of the North. They don't get up to much normally, a lot of meditation and stuff it seems, but they do have reams of stories about the Philosopher's Stone, which plays a large part in their creation myths.

"They also have stories about something they call The Great Key, we could only find one substantial reference, but it was a good one, listen: '…believes that this power, which is non-Alchemic in origin nevertheless has great Alchemic applications. It is often featured in their mythology alongside the phoenix; the symbol of transformation and movement.'"

"Movement; as in travel!" I said, Ed flipped forward a few more pages.

"Exactly, they have a long mythology with detailed accounts of their dealings with the Stone and this Great Key thing in their library collection and crypts, but no one has even successfully removed any of it from their hideout in the Northwest." He turned the book around and pointed to a small star on a map of Amestris.

"You're running off headlong into danger _again_?" Winry asked dryly from the couch where she was sitting.

"Yep, we need to go get a closer look at this stuff." Ed replied. Winry turned her gaze to me.

"Only this time you're dragging her into it as well. Not everyone is up to your adventures. I'm too busy, personally."

"It can't be that much worse than travelling through the wilderness with Itachi and Kisame." I shrugged. "Speaking of which, they probably need to come as well. This involves them getting home just as much as me."

"Well, you'll just have to go find them, won't you?" Winry said.

"Mustang isn't around to give us something else to do, so we should be fine as long as it doesn't take longer than a week. Which it won't. Let's go!"

* * *

><p>Something about Central just defied my sense of direction completely; I barely knew where Winry and I had come from. She took charge of the leading, and I followed behind her, focusing almost all of my attention on combing the crowd around us for the two missing ninja.<p>

"He's about seven feet tall, wears a black and red marquee as a cloak possibly with someone dressed exactly the same. They may also have pyramids for hats." I described to the sixth or seventh busy Central-ite I had managed to snag, and for the sixth or seventh time I was told that they hadn't seen any such person and they wished me luck before hurrying off. I sighed and went back to Winry, who was standing next to a fountain in the middle of the market square. She looked a little less disappointed than I felt when I told her about my complete and utter lack of progress.

"We'll just have to keep looking then. Central is a big place, it would be beyond amazing to stumble across them in the first forty minutes." She climbed up onto the edge of the fountain; I joined her and strained to see above the heads off the people around me.

"Curse this massive city and its bustling inhabitants!" I said, suddenly someone appeared at my elbow.

"Well hello there, girls." A man, wearing a rumpled suit and a dopey, stupefied expression slurred, "What're you doing up there?"

"Nothing much, just looking for my serial killer ninja friends so that we can go on a journey to a secret crazy cult headquarters." I replied looking back to the crowds and starting to walk around the rim of the fountain.

"Cathy!" Winry pointed to the other side of the square, I squinted along her line of sight, scanning the crowd for any sign of the red clouds on black. I was focusing so hard on the far away crowd I slipped off the edge of the fountain and was plunged into slightly green water up to my ankles.

Finally I saw them through a gap in the crowd; a glimpse of red and black. I jumped out of the fountain and started dodging through the crowd, keeping my eyes locked onto the two ninja. There was a ring of empty space around them; as soon as I took a step inside of it Itachi whirled around, eyes blaring.

"Sharkbait!" I yelled, launching myself at Kisame and managing to catch him in a hug, the giant blue ninja flailed slightly before pulling me off of him. "You know you missed me. Speaking of which you two are terrible at blending in, and yet still very difficult to find. How do you manage that?" Both said nothing in reply, although Itachi deactivated his Sharingan. "You're looking well. Actually, you look almost purple Kisame, it's kind of creepy."

"You can talk, what on earth have you been doing, girly?"

"Well, I ran into Edward and Alphonse Elric and they found a lead!"

"What kind?" Kisame asked.

"The possibly getting us home kind! All we have to do is take a trip up North and sneak a peek at some cult and hope that they have something that Ed can work his amazing genius magic with." While I was saying this Winry had pushed her way through the crowd.

"Shall we go then?" She asked.

"Yes! There is a matter that I have always wanted to see resolved. I want to know if Kisame is taller than Al. Come on!" For the record, he is.

* * *

><p>"So, is this all then? We don't need to go find anyone else to add to the party? You don't need to go find your performing monkey, or an elephant to ride on?" Ed said on our return.<p>

"Nope, we just needed these two."

"You'd think they'd be easier to find, dressed like that.

"Who's this kid? He's smaller than Samehada." Kisame said, gesturing to Ed. The blonde stiffened, red pigment creeping across his skin.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'D BE A SNACK TO AN ANT!? We can't all be the size of sky scrapers you huge freak!" Ed yelled, so angry he was almost incoherent. Al reached over and held him back, restoring order.

"This is Edward Elric, the genius Alchemist who's going to get us back home. If he ever believes that we're from parallel worlds, that is. He's too much of a scientist to find me convincing. Hey Sharkbait, do something ninja-ey." Kisame made some quick hand signs and in a small poof of smoke he was once again blue and creepy looking.

"Wha-?" Ed's eyes widened, Kisame wasn't finished. In one smooth movement the large ninja flew across the room and pinned him to the wall, flashing him a pointy fanged smile.

"Convinced yet?"

"Yeah, convinced you're completely _insane_!" He said, Kisame growled and let him down.

"Come on! He's _blue_!" I said, "And Itachi can breathe fire! Hey, Weasel, breathe some fire!" Itachi did nothing. "Trust me, it's awesome." Ed and Winry shared a look.

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning." Ed said.

"Great, my train back to Rush Valley leaves pretty early too." Winry said, "Now I don't know about you but I'm starving, where we can find some food around here?"

"There's a cafeteria in the building, it's alright." Ed replied.

"As long as Sharkbait's not cooking, it's alright with me!" I said, the fish man growled in annoyance.

* * *

><p>Winry woke me with the sun the next morning, also with pancakes.<p>

"Morning Cathy!? Is your arm feeling better?"

"Yes! This _so_ makes up for having to get on a train this early!" I said happily, we ate quickly and dashed across to the station. We made it their almost exactly on time with only a couple of minor incidents with a paper boy on a bicycle and a pigeon with a death wish; I suppose even Life sleeps in sometimes.

Goodbyes were exchanged, thanks made and last minute Automail equipment was foisted on Ed as Winry boarded her train and we began the wait for ours. It arrived just when I was thinking of taking a nap; which at first seemed like a handy coincidence, but was revealed by the hard, lumpy seats and sharp rocking to be just another of Life's gifts.

"You know, I would've thought these were more comfortable when you look at them from the ground." I commented, standing up and stretching. Ed was fast asleep, I observed with some jealousy, but Al was of course awake.

"Brother seems to have gotten used to it over the years, it was harder at first." He replied.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to go for a little walk to stretch out my legs." I said, walking towards the compartment door, "Hey wait," I stopped and looked around the small space. I realised that something was missing; Itachi and Kisame to be exact, "Well, at least I'm already going for a walk. I'd better go make sure those two aren't terrorising anyone, see you later Al."

I marched out the door into the corridor, we were in pretty much the middle car of the train; I decided to head for the end of the train first, and then make my way up through the whole thing.

* * *

><p>This grand expedition was, however, short-lived. Itachi and Kisame were apparently meditating, or something very similar involving sitting very still and looking annoyed when interrupted, in the car directly next to us, which held some bunk beds and one of the smallest windows I had ever seen.<p>

"It's smaller than my face!"

"Get out, Girly!" I slid out of the compartment and decided to continue my walk anyway, at least until the rocking of the train became so violently pronounced that it not only almost threw me through one of the larger windows, but also made me a tad seasick and I declared myself defeated and retreated to Ed and Al's compartment.

"So, how long do you think this trip'll take anyway?" I asked the now awake Ed, he shrugged.

"A few hours. Anywhere between 6 and 10, it depends if we get stuck in the snow or not."

"Oh. I should have brought a magazine or something. What do you normally do on these trips?"

"Sit and think, mostly." Al said.

"I might go for a walk or something, I feel a bit twitchy." I stood up and started pacing up and down the corridor just outside the compartment.

"What are you doing?" I jumped and landed on someone else's feet, and then jumped again to avoid them, Kisame was standing directly behind me, grimacing.

"Oh you know just being _bored out of my brain_!"

"How are you finding that?"

"…Wonderful. I'm having such a swell time, can't you tell? Where's the Wonder Weasel? If anything can make me feel cheery by comparison it's him." Kisame shrugged and started walking back down the train, I ran after him.

Ed was asleep again, and sitting at the other end of the compartment, his back towards the front of the train; was Itachi.

"Weasel boy! Hey!" I said, sprawling across from the ninja, "How're you finding this enthralling train journey through the gorgeous Amestrian countryside? Much better than camping out, eh? This way, we still get to see the pretty nature and it doesn't try to kill me. Again. Although that might be more interesting than-!" Something hit me in the back of the head, it was a newspaper.

"There's a crossword in there, give that a go." Ed said, lying back down and closing his eyes.

"A crossword?" I sighed and draped the newspaper over my face, "My vocabulary isn't nearly big enough, and the clues are usually stupid." I held the paper at arm's length, "Like that one for example it's… do you have a pen?" A pan landed on my face, "Thanks." I was still sitting down, but I could _feel_ Ed's smug grin as he went back to sleep.

The crossword did keep me occupied for most of the afternoon, in the end I got too frustrated when the word I was trying to fill in didn't actually seem to exist; so I just made it up. If anyone asks phnarponberry is now a tridecalogism that means very bright. Although Ed said it was cheating. Eventually as the sun reached the middle of the sky, we had some lunch. Itachi and Kisame shared their rice balls with me, since I hadn't thought to bring anything.

"This reminds me of the good ol' days in the forest. I've really got to learn to cook." I said, "This could really use something else to spice it up. Like pizza."

"Shut up." Kisame said, I sighed.

"Fine, I'm going to go rest in the quiet of next door." Feeling way too excited about the prospect of not having to sleep on the ground in the dirt with sticks in my hair. I threw myself onto one of the beds and slid my bag underneath it; sighing happily as my eyes drifted shut. At the sound of the door squeaking along its rails I looked up. The dark figure of Itachi was silhouetted in all his grumpy ninja glory.

"Hey Weasel." I greeted, he walked over silently and sat down on the lower tier of the little bunk bed opposite mine. I reached down and rummaged in my bag. I held out Itachi's kunai across the gap, "I believe this is yours."

"Take it, I have more." He inched forward slightly and lay out on the bed.

"Thanks! I could use all the help I can get after all." I said cheerily, Itachi of course didn't reply. I dozed, the motion and noise was keeping me from complete sleep. Itachi remained awake, eyes on the door. When I shifted slightly they snapped to me. I cleared my throat and sat up a little.

"Sorry." I whispered, then more strongly; "Really, I'm sorry." Itachi didn't move, not even his eyes, "I didn't mean what I said before. I know…"

"You know more than is good for you." Itachi said at last, "In fact, now that we've got to some people who can give us the information we need, we don't have to put up with the threat." His Sharingan flared and he was suddenly standing directly over my bed, surprised I sat up and jerked away from him, _thud_. The crown of my head whacked into the base of the bed above me, full force.

I gasped in pain forgetting momentarily about the possibly murderous ninja at my side. When I did look up he was still there. As I flailed in surprise, trying to wriggle away from him, he lent down towards me slightly and pinned my wrists either side my torso. His eyes, burning red, bore into mine.

"I think if anyone's going to kill me, Kisame has first dibs, Weasel. Also, I don't think Ed would be likely to help you anymore." I managed, suddenly the weight on my wrists was gone. Itachi had obviously teleported; he was stretched out across the bed again. As I watched the sides of his mouth twitched up ever so slightly, then he rolled onto his side slightly, and closed his eyes.

Itachi Uchiha smiled! (At me! (Shut up hormones)) He was also now _sleeping_. This was momentous. I could hardly believe I wasn't actually asleep and dreaming myself. Shortly after that, possibly because of the fresh bump on my head, I was.

* * *

><p>The screech of train brakes cutting through the darkness, mingling with my surprised yelp as I was thrown onto the floor; makes me think of what your laughter could sound like; Life.<p>

"What the hell!?" I sat up rubbing my head where it had whacked on the floor, I looked to my left; Itachi was gone. I got up and walked to the door, stepping out into the growing crowd of people.

Cathy." A voice said from near the door, Ed appeared at my elbow, looking rumpled enough to have been in bed until a few seconds before.

"Hey, Ed. Any idea what happened?"

"Well, the train's stopped."

* * *

><p><strong>I am so sorry! My plan to finish it on my birthday, when I decided to take a break from my work, didn't work. Thankfully a family holiday to the middle of freaking nowhere meant no internet but lots of laptop access at night, so I typed most of this up around 11pm-3am over a few days. <strong>

**Hopefully the next one will be quicker, I'll have more time in December, after exams. **

**DTFrogget**


	9. Visiting with the Freaks

**Okay! Hello again! Thanks to russub19, Otaku Tobi, DexG23, tmjay10 and Wolf579 for following! Glasbruch, thanks for Favouriting! Wolf579: you also Reviewed and Favourited! Thank you! XD **

**So… I'm sort of completely reworking the plan for this story from this point to the end, but as school is now finished (YAAAAAAY) I'll still update faster than before. :D**

* * *

><p>"I was kind of looking for more information than 'the train's stopped', Captain Obvious. I've worked that much out already." I replied, Ed smirked.<p>

"There's a snow drift across the lines, they think it was an avalanche from the mountain; so they're clearing it off manually to make sure there isn't any debris or anything." Al said, "Considering the amount of snow, it could take them a couple of hours."

"Isn't this usually where you two jump in and do some cool Alchemy to help out?" I asked, "I bet some crazy ninja powers wouldn't go awry either. Do you think they'd let me help?" Ed looked me up and down, though not very far up, I was only a little taller than him, and shrugged.

"Probably not, but you never know."

"Cool, let me get some shoes, we can go together and look!" When I returned, with my shoes in hand I noticed that the window on the other side of the corridor was slightly open. I shoved m feet into my shoes and jostled through the remaining crowd to get to it and open it the rest of the way.

A blast of cold air and snowflakes flew into my face as I squinted into the flurry. Thankfully the sun was to my back, so the landscape was lit without blinding me.

"What're you looking for?" I ducked back inside and turned to face Ed.

"Just wondering where Weasel and Sharkbait have run off to."

"Do they always run off this much?" Al asked.

'They would if they could, but I was the one who knew that we should go to Central and find you. This time, if they knew where we were going, they'd probably be there by now interrogating people. Do they know where we're going?"

"I haven't told them, and not many people actually know where these people live."

"Then I'm, guessing they'll be back. Come on, let's go look at this snow drift!" We marched off through the train, heading for the front. When we got there took a small flash of the silver pocket watch denoting Ed's State Alchemist status and we were let though.

Once we got outside I quickly realised that aside from digging with my hands there wasn't much I could do, nevertheless I steeled myself against the cold to watch Ed. In his typical fashion he blew half of the snow out of the way, while Al neatly flattened another chunk of it.

They made short work of the rest of the debris; under the first layer of snow there was a small pile of boulders and a tree that must have come down in the avalanche. We clambered back onto the train and after some safety checks it rumbled into life once more and began trundling down the tracks.

"That was so cool!" I said excitedly, flopping onto my back and kicking off my shoes.

"Uh-huh I'm going back to sleep." Ed said rolling over and appearing to do just that, I grinned and lay back, the now regular rocking of the train was actually kind of soothing once I got used to it.

* * *

><p>When I woke up the sun was beginning to set, which confused me, but the countryside was mountainous and snow-capped and utterly distracting. Ed was still sprawled out fast asleep nearby as I pulled on a jumper and some shoes and ventured out in search of the still missing Itachi and Kisame.<p>

I got further in my walk than the previous attempt, making it all the way up and down the train. I met a few people; a musician looking for their muse, a skiing party and a pair of acrobat twins with accents that sounded vaguely Russian on a journey to find their parents; but not the two ninja I was looking for. When I reached the room where Ed was sleeping for the third time I stopped and leant on the wall across form the door, and then screamed as the window I was standing next to exploded, and Kisame clambered through, followed by Itachi.

"Hey guys." I said weakly after a few seconds, "How was your excursion in the snow? Did you fight any bears?"

"A bear? What the hell's going on out here?" Ed said from the doorway, surveying the spray of broken glass on the floor with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, there're probably bears around here, right Ed?" He shrugged and clapped his hands, pressing them to the ground. With a crackle of Alchemic energy the glass shards on the ground flew back into their places, making a whole pane again.

"There, that's better."

"So what where you doing, if not fighting bears?" Ed said, a steely look in his eyes, but apparently it was just "reconnaissance" which the two moved to the seats at the far end of the empty cabin next door to discuss, leaning in conspiratorially.

I sighed. At least I had Ed and Al to talk to this time; they parked themselves at the opposite end of the compartment to Itachi and Kisame. I sat next to Al and crossed my legs underneath me on the seat, resting my elbows on my knees.

"So you met these two after you got here, since you say you come from different worlds?" Ed said, saying the phrase "different worlds" as one might say "psychic dishtowel". I nodded and gave them a quick summary of my meeting with the two ninja.

"But if you don't come from the same world how do you know them?" Al said, I shrugged one shoulder.

"I'd heard a lot about these guys before, and it's pretty hard to fake things like being Kisame." I looked over at the overgrown fish still discussing whatever it was they were talking about. "It takes genuine Sharkbait-ness to be that stupid."

The talk turned to politics I had no hope of understanding; I was desperate enough to get out my maths textbook and still unfinished homework. I still had Ed's pen.

"What're you doing?"

"Just a review of simultaneous linear equations, some application questions."

"Can I see the book?" Ed asked, I handed it over. "I've never even heard of some of this stuff. I'm not even sure what this question is saying."

"That's because it's talking about computer circuits, which you don't seem to have. Different world, different technology. We don't have Alchemy; you don't have the atom bomb. Exchange of some kind."

"You don't have Alchemy? At all?"

"Not even a variant?" Al put it, I shook my head.

"Nope. We have chemistry, biology, geology and also particle physics, string theory and Albert Einstein. Who I'm assuming you've never heard about." He hadn't. "We don't have 'Equivalent Exchange' but we do have the law of the conservation of matter, which I think is kind of similar."

"Right." He handed my textbook back, I went back to my equations.

The hours passed much like hours. Comprised of sixty equal minutes each but some seeming to drag on for more like six hundred, until, at long last the train pulled into the last stop on our journey, the final station.

"At last!" I scooped up my bag and jumped off the train, "Ow it's cold-aaah!" I had jumped onto ice slicked ground and I focused intently on where I placed my feet the rest of the way out of the station, lest I fall.

Considering the length of the journey Ed had been cajoled (ordered) by Winry to get a little bit of rest before we took on a cult of infamous craziness. I fell asleep almost as soon as we got into the cars to go to the hotel, and roused myself just long enough when we arrived to stumble into bed.

* * *

><p>"Hey Cathy, we're leaving soon, get up!" By the time I'd prised my eyes open and peered around the owner of the voice had vanished. I managed to resist the urge to continue sleeping and dragged myself out of bed, mostly because I needed to go to the bathroom and eat something. As I stepped out of the room Ed got my attention and tossed me a pastry of some kind.<p>

"Thanks. Let's go find us some cult followers!"

"Sure, your weirdo friends are outside already, Al will be here in a second." The loveable giant in question stepped through the door behind him, folding up a large map with our route marked on it.

The onslaught of cold air hit me all at once as I stepped outside. I almost bent double and shoved my hands as deep into my pockets as I could.

"This is the only time _ever_ that I am going to admit to coveting those oddly patterned tents you wear." I said to the ninja as we walked down to the hotel cars Ed had booked.

"Wait, can anyone drive?"

* * *

><p>The cult headquarters looked suspiciously like a ski lodge. I remarked as much, no one responded, they just clambered out of the car. I climbed out of the driver's seat, thankful that it had gone so smoothly. I'd only had a few lessons and it never snowed back home, but there was absolutely nothing happening on the roads leading to the headquarters.<p>

"Well, it wouldn't do to be too overt, I guess. If enough people came and went at the right time of year, assumptions could be made and maintained." Ed said.

"It looks pretty convincing." Al said, nodding to the building squatting on top of the hill, the thing could have won a gingerbread house competition. Still pondering its adorable façade the three of us stepped forward, and sank immediately into the snow.

"Gah!" Buried almost up to my armpits and feeling the powerful cold beginning to seep in I merely made a noise or surprise and then froze in shock. Al had somehow sunk the least and immediately began trying to clear a small path around himself and dig Ed out. The Alchemist had managed to free one arm completely. Copying them, I began to flounder, but there was nothing solid to support myself with in the powder.

"Help, please!" Ed managed to get his other arm free and slapped his hands together; pressing them to the surface of the snow and creating a smooth, hard surface he could drag himself up onto. Al clambered up as well and the two of them came to help me out.

"Man being an Alchemist sure in convenient sometime. It keeps you from being trapped by snow." Ed grinned and clapped his hands again drying himself, Al and me. One convenient path later we were lined up against the side wall of the headquarters.

"So, how exactly does this work now?" I asked, "I'm against a tunnel, personally. For obvious reasons, I'd rather not go swimming in the snow again."

Itachi suddenly jumped straight upwards onto the roof of the building a good six or seven stories above us, and began running across it, Kisame followed.

"Hey!" Ed said, "Don't go wandering off!"

"What the-?" Itachi was back. He jumped down from the roof and landed soundlessly on the surface of the snow, barely denting the white powder. He motioned for us to follow him around the side of the building, as we rounded the corner I saw Kisame waiting next to an open window.

"They left a window open?" I said, Kisame shook his head.

"We know how to open windows quietly." Inside the building it was only mildly less cold that the outside, but it was at least free of the driving wind and the peppering flakes of snow.

"Al, we should probably go look for the library." Ed said.

"I'll come with you, so we won't be detected. Kisame, go with Cathy to the crypts." Kisame grumbled and glared at me, I glared right back. We glared happily all the way down to the crypts, and when it got too dark I glared in his general direction.

"Did anyone think to bring a torch?" I asked, in answer light flared behind me, Kisame had pulled a small LED torch from his pocket and he threw it over to me. "Thanks." I said, then, "Where'd you get this?"

"The shrimp gave it to me." I had to cut of my laughter mid breath when I remembered we were supposed to be quiet. Using the torch I located the very secure looking door we had walked through and swung it slowly shut. Then turned and directed the beam towards the rest of the room.

Lining the walls were a number of large carving etched into the sandy rock, they depicted what I assumed must be a number of events in the cult's mythology. There was a number of battles, usually with a crowning and a slight logo change afterwards, there had originally been something more serpent-like in the phoenix's image somehow, and it had morphed afterwards into something more immediately recognisable as the legendary bird in the later carvings.

"Hey Sharkbait, come take a look at this!" I whispered, he peered over my head at the carving I indicated with the torch beam. "It says 'The Great Key' underneath."

In the centre of the carving was a large ornate feather and above it was the bird that had shed it, the Phoenix.

"So is the Key the bird or the feather?" Kisame growled, I shrugged.

"My guess is the feather, it comes up again and the bird doesn't." I directed my torch beam further along the wall. "It's; always just before or just after some huge war, and then it just vanishes again, see?"

"Does it actually mean there is a feather, could it just be some powerful weapon or something?" Kisame asked.

"Good thought, Shark-man. I don't know, it could refer to the State, or some really powerful Alchemist. 'The Phoenix Alchemist' sounds pretty good. I don't think it's the Stone at least; they have separate myths about that." I continued down the line, finding a stack of paintings leaning against the wall and beginning to flip through them. "Also, _that_ shouldn't be here."

"What is it?" I gestured at the painting I was now standing in front of. Dominating the canvas was a huge red dragon wreathed in fire, rearing up from its bed of treasure with leathery wings spread out behind it.

"A dragon. Something which should not exist in this world. We have heaps of stories about them at home, lots of them look a lot like this one." The next painting showed the dragon again, in a slightly different style, it was standing on a snow-capped mountain holding something rectangular in one clawed paw.

"That's a car. That could be from my world! What's been going on around here?"

Suddenly a rumble akin to a huge jet engine revving to full power spread through the cavern. I looked towards the ceiling; a huge fissure appeared in the rock.

"Um, maybe we should get out of here now." I said, Kisame nodded, and vanished. "I didn't mean leave me behind!" I wailed, running for the exit and throwing open the doors. The stairway outside was full of smoke. A hulking figure appeared in the shifting mass and I jumped backwards with a small scream, and a blue had closed around my wrist.

"Come on." Kisame dragged me behind him up the stairs and through the increasing smoke that stung at my eyes and made tears well up and spill down my cheeks, my breath was tight and fast, tearing at my throat between coughs.

When Kisame pulled me out of the window and into a clear space my chest was burning, once again I vomited as he dropped me onto the ground, keeping a hold on the back of my jacket to make sure I didn't sink too far into the snow.

"Cathy, Kisame!" I heard the clanging metallic footsteps of Al as he ran along the path Ed created towards us. "Are you okay?" I nodded, still coughing and wiping my eyes, trying to move away from the vomit covered snow I was kneeling next to. Ed reached an arm around my shoulders, and helped me stand up.

"Come on, we need to get out of here. We need to head back to Central."

"Brother, it was them, wasn't it?" Al said, "I think I saw Envy…" The Homunculi did this, it was hardly beneath them.

"If they're here, then these guys were probably on to something, we need to get back to Central to check it out." Ed supported me on the way back to the cars which were thankfully left intact in their protected position behind a snow bank.

I was still coughing when we got back to the train station, despite drinking a few litres of water during the trip and once we were in the station. My voice was hoarse when it came out at all, but none of the others had felt any ill effects. Kisame, being a ninja, recovered almost immediately, and the other three had avoided most of the worst of the fire, which had been started in the basement.

"What did you find out?" Kisame asked, Ed looked down at the pile of books and papers he, Itachi and Al had managed to carry out of the library before the flames reached it.

"We grabbed everything we could reach, related or not. Basically, though they have a lot to say about the Philosopher's Stone no one's tried making one here in a very long time, and none of those attempts went very well. Concerning the so called Great Key, we found stories about it, they often talk about it in conjunction with doorways and openings and then some 'visitors from far away'."

"Sounds like it could be doorways between worlds." I coughed and looked at Kisame to tell him about the carvings we saw in the crypt. He saw my look and related the story of the phoenix and dragon carvings, and the car.

"So they must have had contact with other worlds…" coughing.

"It does look like that, brother." Al said, Ed remained non-committal.

"At the very least it seems likely that it could be a significant power source." He relented, "They mentioned that they've used it to fuel Alchemy, but they were pretty sketchy in their descriptions of it. We'll need to do some more searching when we get back to Central."

That _was_ the plan, but the 5 soldiers that swarmed Ed and Al as soon as they stepped onto the platform had another one.

"Sorry sir we're under orders to take you to the Lieutenant right away, he wanted to talk to you about your trip."

"Mustang is back!? Took the smarmy bastard look enough!" The soldiers bundled all four of us into their cars and drove straight to Central HQ, two marched us briskly to the door of the office I remembered standing outside of what seemed like weeks before.

Mustang was sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair, boots up in front of him, light streaming in through the tall windows behind him. On the desk next to him there was giant pile of papers, he signed the topmost sheet with a flourish and looked up as we trooped in, skirting between the desks of his team. Sly smirk fixed on his face he took in the group.

"Ah, Fullmetal. Welcome back. Who on earth are these people?"

* * *

><p><strong>TADAAAAA! Everyone's favourite jerk is baaaack! (Even though he's never appeared in this story before.) I threw this up basically as soon as it was done, I want to have the next chapter up ASAP as well. <strong>

**I'll see you guys next time! Thanks for all the support!**


	10. The Hammer and Nail

**Thanks go to crazyquilt for Following and Reviewing! You are especially congratulated on your timing; I was in the midst of uploading this chapter when the email came in. :D**

**Alrighty! Let's keep this roll going and jump in!**

* * *

><p>Mustang surveyed our group nonchalantly, "What exactly have you been up to while I was away Fullmetal?"<p>

"He's helped us out a lot." I piped up from behind the bulk of Kisame and Al. "Sir." My throat only caught minutely. It had recovered almost completely over the long, boring, train journey, which I appreciated greatly. Mustang raised his eyebrows at Ed, obviously still waiting for an answer and some introductions, Ed obliged.

"In height order, that would be Kisame, Itachi and Cathy."

"We're having a little trouble getting home and-"

"How exactly is this your problem Fullmetal?" Mustang said, completely ignoring me. "It seems rather, beneath you." Ed bristled.

"Well, we came looking for you originally, but you weren't here, and then I found Al and Ed." I said.

"It's even less my problem."

"Perhaps, but I'm pretty sure this involves some serious Alchemy, and when in Amestris, go to the government for weird powerful Alchemy."

"Exactly what kind of problem are you having?" Not sure my voice would hold out, I didn't start the story. Itachi sighed and stepped forward.

* * *

><p>"You really expect me to believe this?" Mustang snorted, Ed shrugged.<p>

I frowned; I though Itachi's straightforward 'We don't really know how we got here, we're from another world.' Story was very succinct and convincing. However, Mustang disagreed; he only buckled under the combined pressure of Kisame and Itachi's evidence. Considering Kisame changed back to his monstrous blue self and Itachi walked up a freaking wall and hung from the ceiling, it makes sense.

Once again no one thought very highly of my textbook.

"I'll grant you, I haven't seen a lot of this before but math is hardly my area." Mustang said, I sighed and put the book back in my bag.

"I am officially giving up on this book as a resource. A geography textbook would be so much more useful! Or a mobile phone or something!" I thought of my own phone, which had been sitting on the little table next to the front door. I blame you for this, Life, why couldn't you have thrown me through here with something more convincing? Without the much more believable ninja backing me up, I just looked like a crazy person.

"Look, regardless of the evidence, there was at least definitely some weird Alchemy going on with that cult up North, and they mentioned the Philosopher's Stone." Ed said, "They had loads of stories about non-Alchemic sources of huge amounts of energy you could harness in your transmutations, and they hinted at Alchemy I've never thought of before, for transporting things instantaneously." Mustang nodded,

"Alchemy like that would no doubt need a lot of material to accommodate for the energy used." They talked about it for a little while. I swayed a little where I was standing, the events of the last few days and sleepless nights spent on the train catching up with me. Happily, no one was really paying attention to me at this point, as I had hardly done anything interesting, so I leant against a wall and closed my eyes.

"Come on, girly!" Kisame said while tugging me away from my rest a few minutes later. Ed and Al lead the way out the door and down the halls to some rooms we could apparently sleep in, something undoubtedly organised while I wasn't paying attention.

"Well, see you tomorrow. Someone will come and get you in the morning." Ed said before walking briskly away.

"Good night everyone, I'll see you tomorrow." Al said.

"Night Al. See ya Edward!" I called after the blonde Alchemist. "So, what exactly is happening tomorrow? I sort of zoned out there." I turned to the ninja.

"We're beginning the in-depth research." Itachi said

"Oh, good. Great. Well, at least we're not on a train or running from crazy people."

* * *

><p>"I'm not even sure if this one is in English; it's going on your pile." I shut the thick brown tome of 'Alchemic field work' and set it on Ed and Al's book pile just across the table, and then reached for another from the unsorted pile. I glanced at the cover, saw at least twelve words I didn't remotely understand and placed it on top of the previous one.<p>

"Try this one instead." Al said helpfully, I took the book he offered and looked at the cover; it didn't have anything on it, which was a good start.

"Thanks Al." It was only a few hours into the research session but I was more than ready to give up, Alchemy at this level was like trying to understand complicated particle physics; I had grounding in the basics but this level was so high it was mystifying.

"Those friends of yours are heading out to gather information from the city and try to track down and scientists working on this, didn't you do something like that with them before?"

"I'm not allowed to come; I was 'enough of an annoying hindrance last time'. Oh well, when you want information gathered covertly send in spies not teenage girls."

"I guess that's right." Al said, "One more time brother, from the beginning, what do we know so far?"

"Slowly please."

"Well, so far I've found basically nothing about Alchemy that can move things the way you describe, and almost no reference to alternate universes. Theoretically it's a little easier to approach a theory, so far I've gathered a lot of evidence that indicates it would require a huge amount of energy, but it just looks like there's never been any serious experimentation."

"So we have nothing concrete." Al concluded, "There've been one or two references to the Philosopher's Stone, but nothing too productive there either." Only a few seconds after he finished speaking the window slid open and Itachi dropped through it, Kisame came next carrying a limp figure.

"Oh my gosh, who is that?" I said, Kisame dumped the unconscious figure, a woman, on a chair and pulled a small book from his pocket.

"She knows something, we followed up at least a dozen leads and all of them lead back to her." Itachi said, Kisame handed the book to Ed, who began to leaf through it.

"Hmmm, these actually look like her research notes, but all the good ones are in code; it'll take some time to translate them."

"Let us see if we can't speed that up for you." Kisame said, grinning in an altogether chilling way.

"Now let's not be hasty." Al said, spreading his arms out in front of himself and planting himself firmly between Kisame and the woman, who chose that moment to stir.

"Who are you? Oh God, where am I?" Al spun around immediately on hearing her voice.

"Don't be frightened, please. We just need to ask you a few questions." He said, trying to calm her down.

"Who are you!? Kidnapping is a punishable offence!"

"We just want to ask you a few questions, really! Could you tell us about your research?"

"Why should I? When you've told me nothing about yourselves!" Kisame growled and stepped threateningly towards the women, Al put out his arm.

"My brother and I are Alchemists, and our friends are in some trouble and we heard you might be working on something that could help them."

"Tell us." Kisame growled, managing to shove past Ed and tower over the Alchemist, who visibly quailed.

"I'm a State Alchemist too; I have a right to this information as well." Ed said, flashing his pocket watch from the shadows of his desk.

"I'm the Hammer and Nail Alchemist." The woman began, "I'm part of a special project ordered by High Command doing a whole bunch of different experiments, all pushing the boundaries of Alchemy."

"Did you ever try anything concerning Human Transmutation, or the Philosopher's Stone?" Ed butted in.

"We had one or two experiments, but we never had anyone dedicated, or crazy, enough to go very far with anything." She shrugged, "Wait, you're not-?"

"Were you some kind of project head?" Affirmative answer, the questioning continued, the Hammer and Nails Alchemist seemed willing to provide plenty of information, possibly because of the presence of Al and Kisame as much as Ed's authority as a fellow Alchemist.

"What do you know about transporting people or things with Alchemy?" Al asked.

"How did you find out about that? We've been in testing for the last couple of months, no one is supposed to breath a word about projects that are still under way!"

_"No one told us anyt-"_

_"Guys! Come here!" Ed said, still seated at his desk, paper from his decoding efforts spread all around him. Kisame made sure that the female Alchemist was secure before following._

_"It's this page." He said, pointing to the open book with one hand and continuing to translate with the other. When he finished the page he handed it up to Al and went on to the next one, gesturing for Al to begin reading it out to us._

_"Experiment records, transportation 'portals' begin: May 5__th__. Began the first round of testing today, almost no results except a large chunk of the floor is missing. Could be the radical in the fifth circle needs shifting, Collins was against it there." Ed handed him the next sheet as he read,_

_"May 25__th__. Transportation 'portals' Preliminary stage. We've been tweaking and activating the Transmutation for weeks. Something does almost always come out, and the appropriate amount of material is taken. The building looks like such a mess because of this. So far no living organisms have made it through, none have survived the journey, even plants are charred and distorted, however the number of organisms coming has increased. Chimera breeding on hold. Hydro-testing in the paperwork stage." Al put the pages down, "Well that seems pretty definite."_

_"I'll say. Who authorised these tests?" Ed said, the woman shook her head._

_"I don't know, really, I got a letter with no signature delivered by a soldier, it had the correct seal, and everything was in order. I was issued a staff and specialised research funds and equipment. But we've never seen anyone." _

_"Wait a minute." I said, "If you've been conducting all these tests here in Central, why did we appear in the middle of the freaking mountains half a week's walk away?" The woman's brow furrowed, she shot e a confused look._

_"Pardon? Did you just say that we brought you here?"_

_"Unless someone else has been ripping portals through space, I'd assume so."_

_"That's amazing! How many of you are there? When and where exactly did you arrive?" _

_"We, me, Sharkbait and Weasel-boy, have been here..." I started trying to tally up the days, "Since about a week ago, right guys? We arrived in the late morning, I think, somewhere in the forest to the East, near Resembool." _

_"Wow! Can I have my research notes for a minute? This has tremendous impacts on the latest experiments!" _

_"Sure, I've finished decoding it anyway." __Ed tossed the woman the book.__S__he began flipping through it frantically, muttering about equations and quantities and scribbling here and there._

_"So, you can get us home right?" I asked._

_"We can directionally transport up to 600 kilometres now, where are you from?"_

_"Way further than that, lady." I said, pulling a chair opposite her and sitting down. "I am here to congratulate you. You have successfully plucked three living beings from two different worlds and plonked them in the middle of the forest." _

_"Two different worlds? That's amazing…" She continued writing in her notes at a frenzied pace. _

_"The fact that this seems like new information to you doesn't exactly fill me with confidence."_

_"Can you get us back or not?" Kisame added bluntly. _

_"Get you back? We're still lucky if we can maintain a steady opening, we have no idea how to keep things intact when they go or come through, or even how to control what goes through. Controlling destinations is something we've barely dreamed of. The fact you survived the journey here is a miracle!" _

_"Well surely you can figure out what you did that day and work from there?" Ed interjected. "Surely you have some idea."_

_"We've been trying to do the same thing every time, but since we always get different results progress has been really slow."_

_"There's gotta be some kind of concrete rule though." Ed said, scratching his head and looking over her shoulder, she turned the pages in her notes helpfully, apparently now over the whole kidnapping incident. They started talking about how they could test the various aspects of the theory. _

_"None of your notes so far have detailed exactly how you've been creating the portals." _

_"The diagrams are all in my other notebook, which I keep in the safe in the lab, I'd be happy to show you. All of you, in fact. I'd be really interested to see what we can figure __out;__ this could be the breakthrough we've been looking for!" She looked up and smiled at Itachi, Kisame and me, "My name is Sara Pierce, The Hammer and Nail Alchemist."_

_"Nice to meet you, I guess." I said, Itachi and Kisame both nodded and said nothing. _

_"I'd love to have you come and stay at our laboratory, it's set up to house some of the staff, but they don't sleep there." _

_"We'll just follow you there for now, let's get started right away." Sara wrote her address on a piece of paper and handed it to Ed. _

_The laboratory was in a one-story brick building around twenty minutes away on foot. Sara __led__ us on a short tour of the facilities, finishing with the basement laboratory. _

_"These look huge" Ed said leafing through a sketchbook filled with drawings of circular mechanical-looking structures._

_"I suppose you're wondering where we keep them." _

_"My guess is behind the ginormous covered walls around the garden." Ed said, Sara nodded and pointed at a small door in the corner of the basement room. _

_"There's some stairs over by that desk, they go up to the test yard." It looked like a set straight out of a sci-fi film. Scattered between flowering peach trees were piles of scrap metal and one huge round structure that looked like your average interstellar portal. It was a smooth ring of silver metal inscribed with a transmutation circle. _

_"So, you try shoving whatever you can through this thing, when you can get it to open that is, and see what happens?" _

_"Basically. We can try and aim it at certain places, by adjusting the circle, but we can only do that before we open it of course."_

_"What happens if you hit somewhere?" Al asked, Sara motioned for us to follow her and lead us back to the basement, and into another small room. _

_"Did all this come through?" Ed said, "You three recognise anything?" Kisame, Itachi and I began to pick through the piles of detritus._

_"The thing is," Sara said to Ed as we walked, "is that sometimes even when we place the same material in the doorway we can get hugely different results, even when we haven't changed the circle." _

_"What kind of things usually come through?" Al asked, his voice sounding mildly concerned as he examined a pile of what looked to be furs. _

_"There isn't a usual kind of thing. Sometimes it's clothes, like that pile, or bits of metal, we've gotten our fair share of dead animals too, but obviously we can't just leave them down here in a pile. They're usually dissected. We keep massively det__ailed records on everything we p__ut in and everything that comes out." None of us had seen anything in the debris that looked familiar enough to fuss over, so the group trooped on upstairs to the records room; which was stuffy and dim and crowded with desks, reams of paper and masses of filing cabinets. _

"Sara." I whispered as we were about to walk into the room, "Could I have a word?" She nodded and we stood a few steps away from Ed and Al as they rooted through the records. "I know our arrival is probably important for your experiment," I said, nodding towards Itachi and Kisame, also standing in a corner discussing something quietly. "But we were hoping to maintain a fairly low profile. We'd just like to get home without getting involved in any great big military kerfuffle."

"Of course, I'll instruct all the staff accordingly." Sara said. I thanked her and we moved off into the room. The amount of material that had passed through the portals was astonishing. They had tried feeding in combinations and variations of natural and synthetic materials both Alchemically enhanced and not, and even live plants, though they had drawn the line at living animals.

The materials that had returned were equally varied. For example, in response to a recycled tyre they received approximately one square metre of mud, and in the second trial received half of an animal similar to a cat.

"We think the variations in mass and elements might have something to do with a combination of the location, the object you put in, if you do, the nearest thing to the portal and the amount of energy taken to transport everything." Sara said.

"Well, it still has to operate under the principle of Equivalent Exchange." Ed agreed, "There must be a rule, or an equation, we just have to find it."

They had only ever seen one other living thing result from the experiments.

"A bird flew through once. A nightingale. It flew away and hid in the garden for days before we could catch it, and it died only a month or so later. I think it might have been the climate here."

* * *

><p>Ed and Al spent some more time in the records room, declining Sara's suggestion that they begin experiments straight away.<p>

"We can start those tomorrow, or the next day." Al said, "For now, we should read up all we can and try to build our knowledge of what's been going on."

"Yeah, we'll try and make it quick though. I'd love to get my hands on the stuff you've been building." Ed said.

"We can try and help catalogue some of the stuff they've been pulling through." I suggested, Ed nodded absently without pausing in his perusal. "Come on Weasel, Sharkbait; we've got a job to do!"

"Why would we want to help sort out there junk, exactly?" Kisame asked.

"Well, aside from the fact that it might help get you home faster, it could be mildly interesting to see what you unearth, and it's way better than setting you loose on the streets of Central and having you picked up by the military anyway for being out of place and blue; not much." I replied, "I'm going at least."

I was immensely grateful they had removed all of the dead animals as I began picking through a pile of vaguely sorted objects from early on in the experiments. There was a lot of dirt, pieces of broken, twisted metal, plastic and glass that it was basically impossible to identify, but every now and then someone would find something fairly intact and interesting.

"Hey I found some shuriken, do these look familiar Weasel?" I tossed the grimy metal objects over to Itachi, who turned them over thoughtfully in his hands before shaking his head.

"I haven't seen the like of these before, Kisame?" He tossed the objects to his blue partner, who also knew nothing.

"Great, I'll keep them then shall I?"

"No." Kisame snatched the star-shaped weapon from my hands and threw it onto a pile nearby.

"That's not where those go, Sharkbait." Kisame bristled, but we were both distracted by a booming knocking sound from the front door directly above us upstairs, and the booming voice that followed it.

"Hammer and Nail Alchemist, open up!"

Screw you, Life.


	11. Military Men Suck

**Thanks to crazyquilt for the most prompt review I think I've ever received! Also to pmiranda13 for Following!**

* * *

><p>"We're from the boss' office; he wants to talk to you." I shot a panicked look at the two ninja. "Do you think she told HQ about us?" A crash came from above our heads.<p>

"Well, if you'd like, you can stick around to find out." Kisame said as another loud crash accompanied by the sound of broken glass reached me. "Come on."

"Where do we go?" There weren't any windows, this being a basement. I spun on the spot, looking for a way out, and not seeing one.

"The garden's a dead end without making serious adjustments to that roof." Kisame noted, Itachi lead the way towards the small door anyway. As I ran up the stairs behind them I thought I heard the door to the basement lab crashing open, boots stamping on the floor, and raised voices. When I got out into the scrapheap garden the two ninja were nowhere to be found, but there was now a fairly large hole in the tin roof of the garden.

"Guys!" I called up at it. "Little help please!" Itachi dropped down next to me, grabbed me and the next thing I knew was setting me down again on the ground outside the walls.

"Come on." Without even a breath's pause we were away again up into the night, coming to rest jarringly in a tree not too far from the house. We watched and listened for signs of soldiers, and it was only a few minutes before we heard them burst into the garden. Evidently they had Sara with them, as we heard her voice almost immediately.

"What is the meaning of this!? I may be working for you, but you have no right-!" She was cut off suddenly, and another voice spoke.

"Miss Pierce, I have every right that can be afforded to me by the government, believe me when I tell you that _this_,-" Sara cried out, seemingly in pain, "is one of them."

"I _really_ don't like this guy, whoever he is." I whispered. His voice didn't sound familiar, which was both comforting and worrying. On one hand, at least it wasn't King Bradley, but on the other, not knowing made me feel vulnerable. Being able to know things in advance was my only advantage.

"You mean you don't know him? I'm so disappointed." Kisame said with a toothy smirk.

"Is now really the time for witticisms Sharkbait?" Something rustled in the undergrowth beneath our tree. After a few tense seconds spent staring into the darkness there was a small flash of light and Ed and Al clambered out.

"Guys!" I said as loud as I dared, "Up here!" Al, thankfully keen of hearing, pointed.

"What the hell's going on over there?" Ed whispered.

"I was just about to ask that! They're military, and connected to Sara's boss, that's all I know so far." Ed frowned as he thought.

"Do you think they've come for you guys?"

"Who knows? But they've come for something and discovering us probably isn't going to help whatever the situation is."

"Yeah, we should lie low for the time being, we'll head back in when they leave." Ed said, stretching out on the ground at the base of the tree, facing towards the house. I slithered my way out of the tree to the ground and sat myself up near him.

It was a tense time, punctuated by occasional crashes often accompanied by a flash of light from the windows of the house. After two or three hours of terrified waiting, the final three soldiers left the house. They marched to their car, slammed the doors loudly and drove away after the rest of the convoy. We waited a few more minutes; just to be sure there weren't any stragglers. Ed stood up and brushed leaves and dirt from his clothes.

"Let's go have a look, quietly still, just in case."

* * *

><p>Sara was gone. The illusion was such that she had never been. No clothes in the wardrobes, not a scrap of food in the cupboards, the furniture was draped with large white sheets. The books were gone form the shelves, her workbenches in the basement had been cleared, not a note remained of her work.<p>

They had even been at work in the garden. It was now more of a scrapheap than ever before, clever hands, or those with knowing instruction, had separated the portal into pieces and strewn some parts of it among the wreckage, though some were missing.

"They took the little weapons pile we made, but left everything else." I noted as I came out of the debris filled side room.

"There's nothing left of the research, they took everything." Ed confirmed from the workbenches. "I left all of my notes back in the room, and they seem to have left some, though not all of the original doorway structure, so we can salvage some of that to use later."

"What are we going to do about Sara, brother?"

"We could ask Mustang, he might be able to at least tell us who these people were." I suggested.

"Me and Itachi could go get her." Kisame said.

"Maybe you could Sharkbait, once we find out where she is, and without becoming best friends with everyone in HQ, which is a thing that I would avoid doing if in any way possible."

"You have quite a grudge against the military." Ed observed.

"I'm just cautious. It's a big organisation there are bound to be factions of people who have various and unsavoury intentions. I'd rather not get involved, especially with two big dangerous ninja in tow. So my aim was to find you and Mustang."

Ed decided to come back and mess with the physical portal once he had reworked a more solid theoretical grounding, and after we had gone to see Mustang.

"We're going to have to start basically from scratch, although having some notes and parts of the structure will be helpful."

"Can we go see Mustang about Sara today?" I asked, Ed nodded.

"We can head out right now. The quicker we can get him onto it the better I guess."

"As long as we can convince him that it's 'his problem'"

* * *

><p>"It has nothing to do with me." Predictable. Deep breath, Cathy. "Not my problem in the slightest."<p>

"I'm pretty sure we can make it have something to do with you." Kisame growled.

"Is that a threat?"

"You know I think it is." Mustang's eyes got a hard look in them.

"Sharkbait, you can't threaten him into doing things, you aren't even in the military. You would need to have a very protracted battle that you managed to win, though if you got Weasel in on it you probably would."

"This would be counter-productive to your self-professed need for secrecy." Mustang said.

"Exactly, so once more with feeling, let's try asking nicely. If this doesn't work it's onto plan B."

"Plan B?" Ed asked in a tone of voice that suggested he was trying to remember when Plan B had come into existence.

"We investigate on our own! We found her on our own the first time around, after all. With Kisame and Itachi on our side, there's no building we can't enter, no information we can't get our hands on!"

"I like the sound of this plan a whole lot more." Kisame said.

"It has worked out pretty well for us so far." Ed agreed, Mustang frowned.

"Brother!" Al protested, Ed nodded at him and ploughed on

"But we're up against the military, we'll need information from the inside eventually."

"Exactly." I looked over at Mustang. I wasn't much of a reader of people, so I had no idea if his eyes were narrowed in annoyance or just thought. He let the expectant silence hang in the air for a bit before opening his mouth.

"Don't expect too much, we'll poke around. I'm not sticking my neck out too far on this, Fullmetal."

"Sure you will. Thanks Mustang!"

"I'll get in touch when we have something, it could take a few days."

"We can start research beforehand.

"Just don't get into any trouble, I know it might be difficult for you to fully grasp, but laying low is the best course of action right now."

"Yeah, we know." Ed grumbled.

* * *

><p>As soon as Mustang had agreed to help us look for Sara Ed gathered up all of his notes and headed back to the remains of the lab. So that we could follow his car without causing too much suspicious Kisame had to piggy back me there again. This didn't exactly put me in the best of moods.<p>

"I'll be downstairs sorting out the interstellar junk piles." I said when I could stand up straight again, clattering down the basement stairs and into the little room, I stood in the doorway and looked around the room for a minute before going in. Apart from carrying off the weapons we'd already unearthed and piled up the soldiers appeared to have left everything alone. They hadn't really had the time to sort through it, I suppose. But with Ed starting basically from scratch, and me being completely incapable of helping at this point, I did.

A huge crash from directly above my head made me squeak, jump and drop a heavy spherical thing onto my foot, which caused me to go hopping on pain over to the wall. I stood there for a minute, breathing deeply and shaking out my foot, and then made for the door and dashed up the stairs outside.

"What the heck are you guys doing up here?"

"I would like to ask you the same question, miss." A deep voice I didn't recognise said as a hand clamped down hard onto my shoulder, clamping me in place. I gasped and tried to turn around, another hand prevented me. "Not so fast, thank you. What exactly are you and your friends doing here?" Had they gotten Itachi and Kisame? Ed? Just seen them? Was he only bluffing? He started dragging me towards the front door.

"I was just having a look around downstairs." I said after a small pause that I hoped wasn't too suspicious. The man, who kept a firm hold on the back of my shirt, threw open the front door and marched my out of the house.

"And the others?" So they had got someone? Or was he still bluffing? My inner debate was circumvented by a voice calling out from outside the fence.

"Cathy! Are you okay?" Ed! I smiled as he came into view, the hulking figure of Al standing behind him like a disproportionate intimidating shadow.

"Ed, Al! I'm alright, a little startled that's all."

"You didn't mention her." The man said, shoving me roughly towards the Alchemist.

"I wasn't sure where she was." Ed answered coolly. I turned around and finally glimpsed the face of my captor. He was tall, heavily built, and military. There was something familiar about him.

"We may need to take the three of you in for questioning." So they didn't get Itachi or Kisame, not a big surprise.

"We were just having a look around." Al protested.

"Old architecture is an interest of ours." Ed joined in, I nodded emphatically. The guard merely raised an eyebrow.

"Is breaking into other peoples' houses a hobby of your as well?" Ed began telling our story: of course we didn't just go around breaking into houses. We had though this one was empty and had read something about it in a book and so on. The military men all looked varyingly unimpressed, but seemed to decide that we weren't worth the effort and told us to clear out.

"That wasn't really lying low." Al said, "That could have been really bad."

"Hey Al, was it just me or did that guy look familiar?" Ed said, looking back over his shoulder at the man as he directed some more soldiers into the house.

"I don't know, maybe a little." Al turned to look as well, "He kind of looks like…"

"The man who came to the house to kidnap Sara." Ed finished, I heard my neck crack as I whipped my head around.

"We have to follow them and find her!" I said immediately, stopping in my tracks and turning to watch the military figures closely as they ferried armfuls of metal to their truck; looked like they were clearing out the garden. Suddenly their large leader marched out of the house again, barking orders and the soldiers dumped their burdens as fast as they could and piled into their trucks.

"Cathy we can't!" Al said, "Brother, don't do anything rash, remember!" Ed's hand curled into a fist as he watched the departing convoy.

"We're just supposed to let them go?"

"We should focus on the research, Mustang is looking for Sara. No matter what he says, I'm sure he'll be trying his hardest to find her." Ed stood still and stared hard down the road after the cars, and then with an almost visible effort turned towards Al and smiled.

"Right. Let's get back inside and see what they've left behind. It looks like they just started picking up bits at random again, so they might not have set me back too far." He led the way cautiously through the small building to the garden on the other side. As we emerged into the garden two figures loomed into view, I shrank back a little.

"Oh, it's you three. I was hoping they'd take you away too, girly."

"Shut up fish head!" The two ninja had once again made use of the new hole in the garden roof, and had come back in as soon as the coast was clear to begin assessing the damage. Ed collected all of the remaining pieces of the original portal and piled them up beneath the hole.

"I should have done this first; I hope they didn't get too much of it." To the ninja; "Can you two help us get this out of here?"

"Sure." Itachi said, grabbing an armload of the metal and jumping straight up out of the hole. Kisame followed close after him.

"We're going to have to find somewhere else to do this, I guess." Al said.

"Mustang's office?" I suggested, Ed laughed loudly but stifled it after a few seconds.

Once all the pieces were removed the ninja volunteered to carry them back to wherever we were going.

"Where can we hide this stuff safely?" Ed mused pacing in front of the pile. "I can't do the experiments there, but we could at least hide the materials in our room for a little bit." Itachi and Kisame vanished with armfuls of the metal, Ed and Al's car was waiting a few streets away near a library that Ed had pretended to go into.

"See you back at HQ I guess." I said, "I'll be going back by ninja again I guess. Not a travel option I'd recommend." Ed grinned sympathetically before leaving. While I waited for Kisame I poked around in the scattered piles of metal, most of it was unidentifiable and coated in a thick layer of grime and fresh mud. As far as I could tell, since it was going to be used as material in Transmutations it didn't really matter. At long last Kisame appeared and I could once again clamber aboard his massive back and cling on for dear life.

"Mush, boy!"

"Shut up!"

After my customary re-acquaintance with my last meal I was informed that Mustang wanted to see us again. We went to his office and waited until Ed and Al arrived, which only took a few minutes.

"Did you find anything, Colonel?" Al asked, Mustang nodded.

"Do you recognise this man?" He held up a photograph, in it a burly man wearing a military uniform glared at the camera like the photographer had just kicked him in the shins.

"It's the guy who took Sara!" I said, Mustang nodded.

"He's a brigadier general from one of the cities to the West. He transferred here some weeks ago to look after a special top secret project, which was being conducted in that house." Mustang tapped the picture of Sara's house in the file in front of him

"Why did he take Sara? And where did he take her?" I said, Mustang turned a page in his file.

"He's in charge of her project, he can move her to new facilities-"

"Is that all that happened? A change of facilities?" Ed demanded, Mustang cleared his throat and continued explaining.

"In this particular case, it would seem not. As the operation is top secret, the whereabouts of the testing, and even its nature, are not freely available, even to me. At this point it is possible to say that she was removed from her testing facilities by force, and is most likely being held at some other location. We've checked her house already, and it doesn't look like she's been home for a few days." He closed the file and slid it into one of the drawer in his desk. "That's all I have for you for now. I should have more information in a day or two. You focus on that research, I'm assuming you found a way to get the material you need out of the premises?" Ed nodded.

"I could use somewhere to set it up though." He said, "I'm not entirely sure the hotel where I'm staying would welcome me setting up a huge metal portal in their basement and then with all likelihood blowing it up."

"I can see why that would pose a problem, we'll find you somewhere. Go get some rest. I'll talk to you when something develops."

"We're gonna head to the library and do a little more research, right Al?"

"Sure thing, brother. All the books on the mythology of the cult are still in our room." The two of them walked out already planning the beginning of their experiments. I stood up and stretched, I had absolutely nothing to do with the research at this point; I'd slow it down rather than speed it up. I started walking to the door, Itachi and Kisame brushed past me and approached Mustang's desk.

"We can assist your team in investigating this." Itachi said.

"You have experience in matter like this?" Kisame grinned, it was duly horrifying.

"Plenty." Itachi assured Mustang. He considered the idea; he laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them, looking out the window while he thought.

"I can't see why it would prove too much of a problem, I can even pay you for your trouble." He chuckled slightly, "I'm hiding enough already with this investigation, what's a few more people?" The two ninja started making arrangements to join the investigation squad. I decided to go to bed.

"See you freaks tomorrow." I said to the three crowding around the desk, I exchanged more polite farewells with Mustang's staff and left.

* * *

><p>"So there's really nothing I can do to help? I could mop your brow. Does your brow need mopping?" Ed sighed and I felt bad for annoying him, but feeling useless was almost as bad.<p>

"When we start up the actual experiments you'll have more to do, but for now we're okay." I sighed, I appreciated his attempts at making me feel better but it didn't quite nullify my intense feeling of being useless. "We're almost ready to start though, come back in a bit."

"See ya then, good luck guys." I wandered out of the little room, at a loss for where to go. I doubted I'd be able to find someone in HQ to do something with, and venturing outside into the city was forbidden. Despite all of this, I had to find _something_ to do.


	12. The Machine

"I am so completely lost." I said to the empty corridor, sinking to the floor. I take back everything I said in the heat of the moment, Life. You tried your all to confound me with the twists and turns of the corridors and by seemingly removing every single person from the building, and you succeeded. Curse you for banking on my non-existent sense of direction. I'm simultaneously impressed and annoyed.

Defeated, I then decided to go find Ed and Al in their study room, but lost as I was it took me a little while, but I made it there. They, too, were gone.

"What the hell? Where is everyone!?" I glared at the desk that Ed and Al had been sitting at no more than twenty minutes (fifteen even!) earlier. Now that I was looking carefully I saw the small scrap of paper sitting in the centre of the table, I leapt on it. It was a note written in handwriting that I took to belong to one of the brothers.

'_We're starting experiments, come join us. Left at the doctor's office, go straight past the cafeteria, in the office directly across the hall._

"Well thanks for that, you couldn't wait?" I said to the note. It didn't say anything back. I sighed, now at least I was on a chartered quest, to find the two Alchemists and help them get me the hell back home. I'd been to the cafeteria before, but I wasn't exactly sure where it was. I traipsed out once more into the corridors, which in my mind now covered an endless number of kilometres and possibly a Minotaur.

* * *

><p>"Have you seen Ed and Al?" Was the first thing to leave my mouth when I <em>finally<em> came across one of Mustang's team members, Cain Fury, wandering around. "They're doing some experiments somewhere near the cafeteria."

"I think I saw Ed earlier, the cafeteria is that way." He pointed in the direction I was supposed to head. I thanked him and then asked why the place was so deserted.

"Did the Fuhrer skip town or something?" I joked, "It was way busier the first time we came." Fury almost seemed surprised into telling me the truth.

"He's gone on a routine inspection tour of some of the towns and bases closer to the borders. He goes every year for a few weeks." He said, I thanked him again for the information and went on my merry way towards the cafeteria.

It took me a couple of wrong turns to locate the cafeteria, and even more to find Ed and Al. Who were _not_ in the cafeteria, but in one of the offices looking out over an interior courtyard the complex had.

"There is almost nothing more unsettling than echoing halls and empty offices." I said as I walked into the room, yet another office.

"We're about to put the finishing touches on this thing, and then we can start the tests." Ed said, gesturing to a rougher version of the portal we had seen at Sara's house set up at the far end opposite the door. The two of them had pushed the desks to the sides of the room to set up the device in the middle of the room. Spread across the floor in front of the portal mouth was a mass of papers with drawings and equations scrawled across them. I perched on top of one of the desks and watched as the two alchemists put the last finishing touched on the portal, inscribing a transmutation circle around the smooth metal edge.

"Done!" Ed declared, setting down his chalk and stretching as he stood up, "We're almost ready to fire this thing up and see what happens!"

"Well that makes me feel very safe. I can't wait to get this baby going now."

"Don't worry; it should be quite safe for us." Al said, "The field won't extend close far enough to reach us." He and Ed quickly chalked another Alchemic circle around the base of their contraption.

"Wow, I can see why it took so long for Sara's team to come up with anything concrete, this is a complicated set up." Ed said, dusting the last of the chalk from his hands.

"Okay, ready brother? We can open it now."

"Do you know what's going to happen?" I asked.

"Not in the slightest, let's go Al!" The light from the circle on the floor filled the room, spiralling upwards in a huge spinning cylinder through which I could just make out the hulking figure of and Ed's smaller one. A few seconds in to the process, the blue light began to leak into the portal frame, swirling around the centre and becoming a solid field. The blue deepened and a point of white appeared in the centre, it spread outwards until it covered the whole portal.

I screwed my eyes shut against the onslaught of bright light. A few seconds later it vanished, leaving only the blobby impressions on my eyelids. I opened them and had a look around the room. The portal remained. The circle engraved around the edge had gone, though the one on the floor was still there. The chalk lines were faded but remained precise. Ed and Al were kneeling on the edges of the chalk marking, and in the centre, just in front of the circular door was a small black lump.

"Whoa, that was…" I searched my mind for an appropriate adjective.

"What's that?" Ed rose and stepped into the circle then bent to have a closer look at the ting that had come through.

"It looks like cloth, it's been a bit battered by the trip, maybe." He said, "Maybe we could adjust the energy parameters." He mused, picking up the scrap of cloth gently and carrying it to the table that was draped in a white cloth. "Here Cathy, do you recognise this pattern?" I peered over Ed's shoulder at the small piece of tattered material. It was torn and a little charred, but I could distinguish some form of colour and pattern through it all.

"Are those… red clouds? It's material from an Akatsuki cloak! That's Weasel and Sharkbait's world!" I grinned and could have hugged that little scrap of cloak, except that would have looked extremely weird.

"That's amazing!" Al said, "How could we have come across one of the two places we're looking for, in all of the possible locations?"

"It's pretty unlikely." Ed agreed, reaching for his own notebook and beginning to scribble violently. He began to talk to Al about the particulars of the next experiment as he wrote. There was a lot of talk I didn't remotely understand about adjusting the levels of this and changing the degree of that.

"Hey, guys?" I said, interrupting them, "Has this desk always had a massive bite mark hole-thing in it?" I gestured to the desk I had been sitting on,

"No." Ed said, running across the room and examining the hole gouged in the wood closely. "This is definitely Alchemic in origin. What do you think Al?" The next ten minutes of their conversation was all but completely unintelligible to me, the term "Equivalent Exchange" was thrown around a lot.

They made a few adjustments and got ready to try again. The brothers were about to place their hands on the circle when the office door slammed and the black cloaked figures of Itachi and Kisame walked in.

"SHARKBAIT HOO-HA-HA!" I yelled, "Hi Weasel."

"We are going to watch." Itachi said to Ed, the two of them parked themselves up against the wall and watched the proceedings silently. Ed and Al turned back to the circle, looked up at each other and in the same instant, pressed their hands to the chalk.

The reaction was much the same; it was still utterly spectacular, for about thirty seconds. After this there seemed to be a minor collapse of the world. A shockwave shook me and something slammed into my shoulder, forcing me off of the desk and onto the floor, I pulled myself under the tiny wooden roof, it was probably safer under there than out. After another few seconds of an odd rumbling noise everything seemed to settle down. I rolled out from under the desk, straight into Itachi's feet.

"Well hey there Weasel, so what've we got this time?"

"Not sure." Ed's voice floated through the smoke, I got to my feet and made my way over to it. Ed's voice has sounded strained, and his face was pinched and white to match, he looked a little unsteady on his feet. His eyes were narrowed and he was staring intently at the mass in the centre of the circle. I stepped towards it, peered closer to get a better look, and really, truly, wished that I hadn't.

Lying just in front of the gate, lightly blackened, was the torso of an animal. Blood spread from the place where its body now ended, a ragged, uneven tear that displayed flesh, bone and skin together, and a small amount of red dripped from its blunt dog-like snout. The blood spread in a pool around it, soaking into the chalk and shining wetly in the light.

My stomach heaved and I turned away quickly from the mess in front of me. Though not quickly enough to avoid nightmares about it, I suspected. On slightly unsteady legs I made my way to the wall and leant against it, breathing deeply.

"Come on Al, we should move this thing. Mustang would blow a gasket if we left the thing here." Ed said after a couple of seconds.

"Where can we take it?" Al asked, stepping into the circle. Kisame cut in front of him while at the same Itachi moved in front of Ed.

"We can handle it." Itachi said quietly the two of them gathered up the dog-like thing and exited via the window.

"Maybe we should stop for now, brother." Al said, "We've done plenty today and-"

"No." Ed cut in, "One more. I'm not letting this stop me from doing what I said I'd do." His voice was firm and sure, but his eyes didn't move from the pool of blood in front of him. I scanned the walls and saw a mop leaning next to a bucket. I pushed off from my wall and made my way over to it. Blood is surprisingly easy to clean up.

It wasn't too long before the circle was ready to go again.

"I think you three should wait outside." Ed said, I nodded and stumbled out the door ahead of a slightly more reluctant Itachi and Kisame.

* * *

><p>"Buck up girly, it was just an animal." Kisame said, slapping me on the back.<p>

"I don't… I'm not one of those girls who can't look at blood without fainting, promise. I have a First-Aid certificate, and I hang around with the lifeguards at the pool. It's just… that could have been me. I'm going to go get a drink or something. I'll be back in a few minutes, less if Ed and Al blow something up."

There were toilets by the cafeteria, I remembered. I headed for them. I rinsed my mouth out as thoroughly as I could and splashed some water onto my face, wishing I had a toothbrush in my ever-present bag so I could clean my moth properly, but it was in my room on the sink. I dried the water from my face and stood up straight. I was turning to go when the floor of the building rocked suddenly in a motion similar to what I had always imagined that an earthquake would feel like; a sort of frantic swaying that shook me off of my feet and onto the floor. It only lasted a few seconds and as soon as I could I was up and out the door. Everything was gut-wrenchingly quiet and still as I hurtled down the halls back to the test room. When I got there I had to stop for a moment and get my breath back.

The door to the office had been wrenched off of its hinges and shattered against the opposite wall. Hot white smoke billowed out of the room in thick clouds. The three of us waded into it.

"Ed? Al?" I called into the smokescreen, "Hello?"

"Hello?" Called a voice that did not sound like either Ed or Al, I saw a large indistinct shape emerge from the fog in front of me. "Who do we have here?" The voice continued, and the blob moved closer, clarifying into two figures.

"ED!?" I called more frantically, suddenly the choking screen of smoke swirled away. I took a deep breath and looked around. Standing a metre or so away from me were two people, the shorter was blonde, and the other was shirtless, both were wearing the familiar black with red clouds.

"Itachi." The blonde said, noticing the ninja standing near the wall. "You haven't checked in, Leader's mad, un."

"Yeah, where'd the heck did you go?" The other guy said, Itachi just looked at them both for a minute.

"Here, obviously." He answered at last, the blonde snorted.

"Right! Where exactly are we anyway and how the hell did we get here?"

"I got this!" I said, rousing myself from the surprised stupor I seemed to have fallen into, I stepped in front of the two. "Hi! Deidara, Hidan, you have been transported from your world to this one by the power of Alchemy!"

"What the heck is that?" Hidan asked.

"Like nothing you've ever seen before, which is probably something you should get used to." Itachi suddenly interjected, the two ninja in front of me looked puzzled, and Itachi stepped towards them. "I'll show you." He gestured towards the window and before anyone could say anything else, the window was broken and all four of them had vanished.

"Well crap, now there's even more of them loose."

Come on, Life! What're the chances of that!?

* * *

><p><strong>So, it's slightly shorter than usual. Yay, Deidara and Hidan! Quick, to the nickname machine! See you next time! I've just started the next chapter, so who knows when it'll be! <strong>


	13. Black Market Watches and Slapstick

**Thanks to Giraffadon and Thuleus for Following! ****pmiranda13 thanks for reviewing! I had fun with the ideas you gave me; thank you! Thanks to everyone who helped me along the long, slow road to completing this chapter!**

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't we be out looking for them?" Ed said as we started to put the room back together again, the shockwave from the transmutation had thrown the heavy desks and chairs around, the former crushing some of the latter into jagged pieces that we were collecting in one corner.<p>

"Yeah I guess we should. Itachi should keep them out of too much trouble." I hoped he would at least. "We can hardly afford to send out some kind of military search party, it's not exactly covert, yeah?" Although, neither are they.

"Obviously." Ed sighed, "I'll tell Mustang we've got more freaks on the loose, he can keep an eye out for them."

"A most excellent idea. Hey Al, can you help me shift this desk over?"

When all the furniture was mostly back to normal, except of course for the bits that had disappeared when Deidara and Hidan had come through, we left to tell Mustang that he had new guests.

"You want me to find them?" He asked as soon as we told him they had vanished.

"It's probably going to be unavoidable; those two are even more volatile than Itachi and Sharkbait. Deidara likes blowing stuff up and Hidan sacrifices people sometimes." This got a surprised look from everyone in the room. "Crazy criminal ninjas, right? What will they think of next?"

"Right, we'll keep alert for them." Mustang said.

"We'll go looking too." Ed said.

"I'm just worried about what they could do to the city while they're out, and Headquarters when they get back for that matter." I said to Ed, "Hey, Colonel, any leads on Sara?" Mustang nodded without saying anything, Ed pulled me towards the door.

* * *

><p>As it turned out we didn't need to send out any kind of party. As we started to leave Mustang's office Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Hidan barged inside it.<p>

"Oh. At least we don't have to come looking for you now." I said. Hidan snorted.

"Like you could do anything to us!"

"Well Your Holy Shirtlessness, I could always sing, 'Pop goes Itachi' Campfire Version, with which I delighted Weasel and Sharkbait on the way here, right guys?" Kisame rolled his eyes. "Right!"

"This is entirely irrelevant, please shut up." Mustang cut in, I sighed but complied, he smiled.

"Fullmetal, when do you think you will be able to get our guests home?" He asked, Ed thought for a bit and shrugged.

"I can't really say. Obviously we've made some progress today, what with these two arriving." He gestured to Deidara and Hidan, "But the nature of what we're dealing with is unpredictable. I can figure it out." He assured Mustang with a stubborn set mouth, "It's just going to take some time."

"Not too much, I hope." Ed nodded and marched out of the room, Al in tow. I hoped he was going to rest and eat something and not back to testing. "Cathy." I turned my attention back to Mustang. "Keep an eye on your friends here, would you?" I looked at the quartet standing shoulder to shoulder, like a menacing, crazy wall.

"Sure thing." I said to Mustang. Should be easy, they're all highly trained, much bigger and stronger than me and I suspected in some cases mildly insane. "So guys, what're we doing first?"

Itachi looked at me but didn't say anything, and then he turned on his heel and marched straight out of the office, the other three right beside him. I threw a jaunty (read: ridiculously sloppy) salute to Mustang and dashed out after them.

"You know," I said, coming abreast with Deidara at the rear of the group, "I feel, and jump in if you agree; the whole 'Deidara looks like a girl' thing has been done." The blonde in question shot a glare my way out of the corner of his eye. "I mean the nicknames basically write themselves."

"I want to honour you," I continued, smiling, "as an _artist_."

"Wha-?"

"A genius! The scope, the magnitude of every creation is simply breathtaking!" Kisame groaned and put his face in his hands.

"What the Hell is she talking about?" The blonde asked the blue sea monster.

"You, apparently." He replied.

"And what exactly does this little girl know about us?" Hidan asked, eyeing me and his companions suspiciously in turn.

"You know, I've forgotten to ask." Kisame said, "_So far_." He shot me a rather creepy smile of razor sharp teeth.

"No one else here knows anything about you, and we'll be on our separate ways soon. What's the point?" I said, trying to sound confident but moving to walk a little further away from the group regardless.

"The point is I get to have the fun of making you talk." Kisame said, I looked at the other three to gauge murderous intent. No one said anything, though Hidan was probably contemplating sacrificing me to his crazy god.

"Oh, I'll talk." I said grinning, "I could talk the appendages off of a donkey."

The group continued walking, and seemingly at random Itachi veered off into an office. Like most of the offices it was completely empty, as the Fuhrer was still away on his journey of self-discovery and investigation or something. Without a word the four of them spread out across the room and started rifling through drawers and pulling out the papers. I watched the ransacking from the door, not like I could stop them anyway.

"So," I said after a minute or so, "are you planning a take-over or something? Now that there are more of you, that is."

"It doesn't hurt to be informed." Deidara said, stacking a pile of forms neatly back into the drawer he had taken them from.

"Well, feel free to stage a coup." I said, leaning against a desk. "Though, I oppose Kisame in any position of power or the installation of any government more militant and horrible than the current one. They could do without the wars, really." Kisame snorted,

"Sure, we'll bring in a nice democratic government with free puppies for all."

"That would be lovely, thanks." I said, "But, if you're not planning to attack the State, what's with the espionage? Ed's going to get us all out of here soon enough." Kisame looked at Itachi, who shrugged.

"It _never_ hurts to have the jump on your enemy." The Weasel explained, I nodded.

"Of course. Do keep that coup in mind while you search, I'm sure Mustang would appreciate any opportunity to seize power." I perched on the top of a nearby desk to watch the ninja search in progress. They were very thorough, but didn't seem to be turning up anything game changing. Itachi lead the motley crew out into the hallway again.

"Hey Picasso," I called to Deidara, "Careful with that watch." He was prodding one of the silver pocket watches of a State Alchemist.

"What's so special about it, and what's with the name?" The blonde came closer and held out the watch

"Well, Michelangelo, I'm not sure how the Alchemic power might meld with your chakra. Something could end up exploding, in a _bad_ way. Or even recoiling, which could be bad."

"How bad?"

"You won't get to keep your limbs bad, Guertena. Or it could just kill you outright. Or turn you into a monster."

"I'm unusual already." Deidara said, throwing the watch to Itachi.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you when you try to walk up a tree trunk and end up growing one out of your skull." The watch vanished into the depths of Itachi's cloak, and he went back to searching. Hidan leant against a wall by the door, looking like he should be smoking, to complete the picture.

"Hey, La Pieta." Deidara kept rooting around in the desk drawer, "Deidara! That's you!" He looked around at last. "Can I borrow your cloak?" The rebuttal was immediate and violently negative. Despite my sweetest pleas, he denied.

"Fine. How about we play for it, a little competition?" He looked a little more interested now, though he didn't stop scanning the pages in front of him for information.

"Like what, hm?" I plopped onto the desk, crushing a pile of rejected leave forms beneath me. Kisame rolled his eyes as I swung my legs. "Hey," I whispered to Deidara, "first one to make Sharkbait snap wins?" The blonde considered it, watching Kisame.

"That'll last about ten minutes, you know." He thought for a minute, "Same with Hidan. Hey, if you can get one of those watches from Itachi, you can wear it."

"That's ridiculous! I accept! I challenge you to make Itachi mad!"

"What would I win? Apart from the relief of not having your paws all over my stuff. How about some information? Kisame told us you have some. But he said it didn't seem worth extracting since you come from so far away, it was probably limited, but this way's no trouble." I nodded and stuck out my hand to seal the deal. Deidara shook it and our war officially began.

"Annoy away!"

"Good luck trying to get anything off of that guy." Deidara chuckled, pushed off of the desk and returned to his looting.

The ninja found a few more watches in the empty offices of the building, and all of them vanished into Itachi's cloak. I tried to figure out exactly where he was hiding them, but to no avail, they disappeared into his personal black hole. The ninja left no stone unturned, but despite their obvious thievery, not a scrap of paper vanished or was left a millimetre out of place. It seemed odd, but so was the high number of State Alchemist watches that appeared to by simply lying around.

"I guess not everyone likes to wear it on them all the time." I muttered as Itachi stashed yet another silver disc under his tent. I was surprised he didn't make clinking noises as he walked; he could have been running black market trade. He didn't seem to understand what I meant when I asked him. He just shot me an odd look. The look remained on his face when, a few seconds later I had a sudden image of Itachi sidling up to people in alleyways trying to sell them watched from underneath his cloak. I had to giggle at that.

"There's no reason for all of us to search together." Kisame said a few minutes later as they finished that room. "We should split up."

"I can't follow two groups of ransacking ninja for goodness sake!"

"Why follow any?" Kisame shot back with a grin, "How about you just go away?"

"Good sirs!" I feigned offence, "I made a solemn promise to our very own dear Colonel Mustang to keep a watchful eye on you… people!"

"Well, you may have to break that promise. Itachi, let's go." Kisame shot me a smug grin as the four of them broke into two groups and dashed off in different directions, leaving me alone to look back and forth between their retreating figures from the middle of a long corridor.

"Right." Now I had to keep up with them. Should be doable.

* * *

><p>Of course, it was much easier said than done. Like many, many things I've been trying to do lately. My loyalty to Mustang didn't really extend to tramping all over his building behind masters of deception and concealment. My own curiosity was a greater motivator, combined with my desire to wear Deidara's tent-cloak.<p>

I stood, hands on hips, in the doorway of yet another empty office. I had walked into a string of them over the past hour, searching for the renegade ninja. I had been quite hopeful and confident to begin with but was beginning to realise that, shockingly, ninja were difficult to find when they wanted to be. I passed the time brainstorming strategies to distract Itachi, so far I hadn't come up with many. The few I did have involved hordes of invading robots or singing.

Another tremor shook the building. The shockwave rattled the windows and caused most of the things on the desk I was standing beside to jump onto the floor.

"What the heck is that?" A voice said as a door closed up ahead. I ducked behind the corner and flattened myself against the wall.

"Who knows, maybe the kid that brought us here." That was Deidara's voice! They sounded like they were moving away from me, I chanced a peek around the corner, and their cloud patterned backs were facing me. I slipped out from behind the corner and followed them on comical but silent tiptoe to the next room. They went inside and closed the door after them; I waited outside, standing inside the doorway of the office next-door.

"Stupid hiding place girly." I squeaked embarrassingly at the sound of the deep voice from behind my back. Kisame leered down from his ridiculous height.

"I always lost at hide and seek when I was a kid. I couldn't hide at all. Though I was the best seeker, no one got away from me."

"I can imagine." Kisame muttered from behind the far desk.

"It's easier when you're tailing the only four people in the building, too." I said, the two ninja shoved past me into the room Deidara and Hidan had just entered. As I crossed over the threshold another shockwave rocked the building, echoed by a series of loud blasts from nearby.

"What the heck was that?" The ninja looked towards the source of the noises. There was a beat of silence, and the wall we were standing next to exploded.

The ninja all jumped clear immediately; I ducked to avoid the shower of rubble and cannoned into Itachi. I took the opportunity to try and stick my hand inside his cloak, it didn't work and I fell over instead as he jumped clear.

A dark shape flashed out of the hole in the wall and flew at the cluster of Akatsuki members. Itachi jumped to meet the shape in mid-air; the two of them collided for an instant and then landed on the ground facing each other. Itachi's Sharingan was blazing, a bright demonic red.

"Well well, you're pretty fast aren't you?" The figure drawled, "We thought you might be." That voice was familiar, as was that hair. Envy, again.

"Are you following us, Jealousy?" I said, still on the floor. "Did Desire and Munchies come with you? Ooh, is Greed here? He's my favourite!" Through the settling dust I saw Envy frown a little, but I didn't seem interesting enough to hold his attention, he went back to looking at the ninja.

"I came to have a look at the two of you." Envy motioned to Kisame and Itachi, "We didn't know if there were more of you." He launched himself at the ninja again; they rose to attack in a very 'end of the episode freeze frame' way, simultaneously. I ducked again and ran out of the way of the flying crazy people with knives. As one of them buried itself in the ground next to me I turned around and ran to the other end of the long hallway. This seemed like an excellent place _not _to be.

I retreated around the far corner to watch. It looked like ninja and Homunculi, at least Envy, fought remarkably similarly; all jumping and backflips. Then it got really anime. The ninja started throwing in their chakra moves; Deidara lobbed bombs, Itachi set some stuff on fire, and Envy transformed into Hidan. Envy snarled (with Hidan's face) as he threw lightning fast kicks at Itachi, who blocked them all. The ninja attacked with a shuriken jutsu, which pushed Envy further back as he dodged it. Kisame stretched his arms and reached over his shoulder, pulling out Samehada (it really did look just a little bit bigger than Ed) and jumping into the fray.

The impressively acrobatic fight continued, the ninja flying at Envy separately and together, trying to pin him down or just kill him. A few particularly wide bombs blew some new holes in the wall and forced me to dive out of the way of flying debris once more. Deidara was throwing one in four bombs at Itachi instead of Envy; but he seemed to be making a show of not noticing.

Although when a horde of clay monkeys burst from a bomb and plastered themselves over all of the combatants and most of the rubble; Itachi definitely noticed. He had about four or five of them hanging from his cloak. Those clinging to Envy promptly detonated, but the others simply hung on. Kisame furrowed his brows and started yelling at Deidara, who laughed and set off a few of the bombs attached to the fish man. To his utter indignation. His ire was expressed wonderfully by the anger that shaded his cheeks as the smoke cleared. Unfortunately he wasn't hurt.

Fortunately, the disappointment was cancelled out by what happened a few seconds later. As Deidara detonated two of the monkeys hanging onto Itachi's back something flashed through the air in the debris, leaving a distinctly silver arc. His cloak, smouldering and still adorned with a few explosive simians, followed, floating gently to the ground. My luck continued to hold, Envy chose that moment to resume his attack, having rid himself of his explosive limpets he threw himself at the ninja at full speed.

It was almost too good to be true, which with my luck usually meant it was. Nevertheless the opportunity was too good to pass up, I _had_ to go see. That was at least one side of the argument I was having with myself. A side that weakened slightly in resolve when a kunai buried itself in the ground next to the cloak and one of the monkeys, which had crawled off of it to look, exploded.

This should have been enough to dissuade me. There was a significant heft to the 'stay put and don't die' side of the argument now, a heft that weighed on my mind as I ignored it completely an dashed out from behind the corner and ran towards the crumpled black and red fabric. It took around ten seconds all together to run over to it and gather it up then turn around and hightail it out of there like I was running away from a war zone. Which I was.

Or it would have, if I hadn't trodden on something, felt it slid out from under me, and crashed to the ground. The object I'd tripped on skittered in front of my face, I grabbed it and scrambled to my feet. I threw myself back around the corner and onto the ground, clutching the cloak to my chest. It was surprisingly easy to compact, considering how long it was. Itachi's cloak… I remembered the feel of the fabric from the day he'd carried me. The scent of Deidara's clay and a hint of singed material rose from the bundle. It most certainly did _not_ have some intoxicating Itachi scent (it was kind of like ginger. Shut up hormones.). After some calm, slow breathing I pulled myself upwards again and looked down at the thing I'd tripped on, which I was holding clutched in my right hand.

The cover was scratched and a little dented, but it was undeniably a State Alchemist's pocket watch. I had a few seconds to enjoy my victory before, the floor pitched so suddenly and violently that I was thrown off of my feet, ending up sprawled on the floor, again. This is starting to feel mildly slapstick, Life. I hate slapstick.

I got to my feet and leant out from behind the wall to check on the sparring members of the team. Envy had vanished. The ninja were standing in the hole in the side of the building.

"What the heck is that shortstop doing?" Kisame grumbled, apart from a healthy coating of white plaster dust, he looked completely unruffled by the random attack.

"I for one wouldn't mind knowing, let's go check it out." I shoved the watch into my pocket and joined the quartet as they passed my corner.

"What the hell was that?" Deidara demanded.

"That was Envy, a Homunculus. We've seen him before; they set the crazy people's house on fire." I said, "Oh, this is yours right Weasel?" I held out the cloak to Itachi, who took it slowly and swung it over his shoulders theatrically.

"A Homunculus? What is that?"

"Why the fuck did they attack us!?"

"You guys want information on the military right? Well, here's what _I_ think you should know. They're led by a dangerous madman, not in any way afraid to kill or intimidate to get what they want, preferably the former since you can't talk about it. To top it off they're in league with _those_ things. Forget five hearts, hell forget fifty, you could pin thousands of hearts and minds on these things." I was preparing to continue my rant when I heard the sound of boots thudding against the floor. Two officers raced around the corner and stumbled to a stop in front of us.

"Colonel Mustang sent us to find you!" The shorter of the two said, a woman with straw-coloured hair and wrist bones so sharp she could use them as weapons. Her partner, who had ginger hair that was greying slightly at his temples gestured behind him.

"He said they found Sara, and they were leaving to go get her right now."

"What!?" I stood completely still, staring at the two soldiers in their identical blue uniforms.

"We're supposed to take you to a secure room to wait for the team to return. This way." The two soldiers ushered us down the hallway, the ninja coming along surprisingly without questions.

The soldiers led us to yet another office that looked identical to every other office we'd been in over the last couple of hours. None of the ninja seemed to feel that ransacking offices was important anymore. Al was sitting in a chair by the window. He struck up a quiet conversation with the blonde officer who had stayed inside to guard us.

"Hey van Gough." I said, turning towards Deidara and pulling the silver pocket watch out of my pocket. His visible eye widened, as did my smile. I threw the watch at him.

"Note the scratches and dent from when I tripped on it while I made a daring raid into your freak battle." I said. Deidara looked at the watch carefully, obviously trying to think of a reason it didn't count. "Come on, I got the watch from Itachi. Hand it over Vincent!" Hidan snickered in the background.

"That's some luck you have there, girly." Kisame said.

"I'm owed plenty, believe me." Scowling, and as slowly as possible Deidara removed his Akatsuki cloak and handed it over to me. He shot a look at Itachi that I interpreted as something along the lines of 'You did this. I know it, and it will come up later.' Itachi's face remained completely inscrutable; he barely even glanced at Deidara and ignored me completely.

"Your challenge still stands." I said, swinging the cloak around my shoulders and fiddling with the fastenings. It fit pretty well; I was about the same height as Deidara, if a little bit shorter. I pulled myself up onto the nearby desk and pressed my knees up to my chest. "So, now we wait."

I'd like to say that we weren't waiting long; but we were. I'd love to imagine that I was too worried to be bored, but as we neared the middle of the third hour, my legs were numb and I'd run out of scenarios to play through in my head.

It was still, however a huge relief when, as the third hour drew to an uneventful close, the door to the office burst open. Ed stood in the doorway, making an obvious effort to control his breathing.

"We've got her."


	14. If Ninja Could Bake

**Thank you crazyquilt, pmiranda13, and KenaBeliever for the reviews! Thanks also to pipps44 for Following and Favourite-ing! I really appreciate all the support!**

* * *

><p>"She was unconscious when we found her." Ed said, looking down at Sara's still body on the hospital bed.<p>

"Who took her?"

"That commander that we saw at her house. He thought she was keeping something from him." Which of course she had been, but how had he found out so quickly.

"More importantly, who the hell is this?" Hidan asked, Kisame briefly explained how he and Itachi had arrived in Amestris and met me, our journey to Central and meeting Ed, Al, and Sara.

"Well that's just great, why am I interested?"

"Because her research is key to getting us home!" I said. Hidan shot me a very creepy grin.

"Home? We haven't finished here yet, why would we want to leave? We've got some time before Leader needs us back."

"Well, I'm not quite ready to send you guys back yet." Ed said, "This stuff does seem almost completely random sometimes."

"Take your time." Ed grimaced.

"Actually, we could be running on a tighter schedule than we realise."

"What do you mean?" I asked, "Did you find something?" Ed nodded and started towards the door. "Wait. Before we do anything, I need to tell you something."

"Did something happen?"

"Those guys," I jabbed my thumb at the ninja, "just had a run in with your best buddy Envy. They may have left a small dent in the wall, could you tell Mustang?" Ed's eyes widened in shock and he started pelting us with questions as fast as they would come out of his mouth. Itachi, Kisame and Deidara fielded most of them.

"He sounded like he'd be coming back."

"Well, that gives us a reason to hurry. Another one, I guess."

"What's the first one?" I asked.

"Some of the material that's come through is exhibiting some signs of what we call Alchemic Rebound. Let me show you." He beckoned us into the research lab. Inside he took us to the pile of debris from the portal he had made in the corner.

"This," he gestured to a contorted ball of stained black metal, wires and spikes jutted out into the air, "used to look like that." He pointed at the perfectly flat and unblemished silver sheet of metal lying next to the twisted ball.

"Rebound…? Well, let's try to avoid that shall we?"

"It probably takes longer for complex organisms like us to reach that point." Ed said, "If it happens at all. But I think we should get you guys out of here as soon as possible anyway, rebound is highly unstable. I'm going to need to do some more trials."

"Before we do anything, you're resting brother." Al frogmarched Ed away to sleep.

"Hey Al!" He stopped and turned around, still keeping a firm hold on Ed, "Will anyone be in the cafeteria right now? Today's drummed up my appetite." Al shook his head but told me that no one would mind if we took some food as long as we didn't break anything.

"Great, now where is it again?" Curse my completely faulty mental mapping, Kisame laughed, long and low.

"And she's supposed to have valuable information?" He strode away in, I hoped, the right direction, everyone else followed him.

"So I'm not a freaking GPS, you obviously don't need it anyway!"

* * *

><p>The cafeteria was completely empty. The gentle hum of the fridges and freezers filled the space, the constant buzzing broken by the doors slamming shut behind us as we entered. I dashed across the room and dived into the kitchen area, making immediately for the first of the massive fridges that lined the wall.<p>

"Do they have pizza here…?" I said, peering into the depths of the large box structure. I couldn't remember if they did have pizza, but there was such an assortment of ingredients that I could make one easily. I loaded up my arms with a pile of vegetables and dumped them on the huge stainless steel counter.

"You can cook?" Kisame said as I dashed back and forth between the cupboards and fridges.

"This is just pizza, it's hardly gourmet but I do okay." I spun around and grabbed a cheese grater, snatched up a block of cheese in the other and in one smooth movement gouged a chunk out of my finger. "Owowowowow!"

"Are you sure about that?" A very smug little grin spread across Deidara's face.

"It's the grater's fault, it attacked me." I turned the cold handle on the sink and stuck my finger underneath the stream. "Does anyone have a Band-Aid?" I grabbed the grater and rinsed it out as well.

Thankfully, like most kitchens this one had a well-stocked First Aid kit stashed in a high cupboard, which I was able to navigate while holding a small towel wrapped around my finger. After a few minutes I was back at the bench, and I managed to grate the cheese this time.

There were no more injuries while I cooked, but Deidara was taking his challenge to make Itachi snap entirely seriously, but there wasn't a lot to be done. No matter what he threw, literally, at the Uchiha the ninja simply caught it or moved out of the way, he _only_ dodged, he didn't retaliate or tell Deidara to stop, he just kept looking around the kitchen with his usual expression.

This mixed response was not really an acknowledgement, but it spurred Deidara onwards regardless. It was quite tempting, watching Deidara send tiny explosive animals as distractions while he tried to steal Itachi's forehead protector, he succeeded in ruffling his hair but nothing more. I decided to stay out of it; if Deidara failed I would at least have an excuse to keep my information to myself. Itachi, for his part, studiously ignored Deidara, joining in on Kisame and Hidan's strategic discussion, I thought about listening but the oven alarm started bleeping.

"Hey guys, do you want some pizza?" I asked, grabbing the oven mitts and opening it to pull out the first of my trays. "Do you have pizza back in your world?" I asked as I walked out of the kitchen and set the first and second pizzas down on the nearest table in front of the ninja and started cutting the cheese-smothered bread into slices. "You might not call it pizza, though." The ninja looked silently at the food in front of them, Deidara shook his head.

"I've never seen any/thing like it before, yeah. It's pretty good though."

"You could add it to the Akatsuki lunchboxes. How do you guys get your food anyway?" Yet another image appeared behind my eyes courtesy of my imagination; this time it was Tobi harvesting vegetables, in full Akatsuki gear and bringing them to Hidan in the kitchen. I laughed so hard I almost dropped the last pizza tray on the floor.

If being a ninja doesn't work out, all of the Akatsuki members could just become competitive eaters and make their money that way. If it was possible to breathe food, Kisame would.

As soon as they were finished eating the whole party stood up simultaneously and walked out the door. Completely silently and all in the few seconds that I had my back turned to put something away in the fridge.

"What the hell?" I slammed the fridge door and darted around the scattered chairs and ran into the corridor. "If you guys have disappeared again…" They had. I shared a few choice swear words with the pigeon sitting on the windowsill, he didn't react.

"So the little girl has a dirty mouth." An amused Deidara came into view.

"Vanishing ninja who could out-eat a small nation tend to have that effect on me." The blonde smirked. "So, are you guys going to sleep, or do I have to follow you around all night?" I asked the ninja, Deidara laughed outright and ran, at ninja-blur speed, back into the darkness. "Damn ninja!"

I ran in the same direction, catching a glimpse of a still laughing Deidara vanishing around the next corner. When I raced around it, he was waiting at the other end of the hall, staying just long enough to grin before vanishing again.

This was going to be a _long_ night.

* * *

><p>"Damn it, Pablo where is everyone!?" I yelled as I pounded through the corridors after Deidara, yet again the blonde's figure vanished as soon as I rounded the corner into the corridor.<p>

"I thought you were the one with the answers, yeah!" Deidara called.

"Well, I've never been able to figure out –" I broke off, we'd just run past the cafeteria _again_, "You're just leading me in circles!" I stopped running. As soon as I did Deidara appeared in front of me.

"Most people would have noticed after the third time." He said.

"Oh be quiet, Michelangelo." I said, "You're just distracting me while they go do something, aren't you?" Deidara smiled without answering "Are they still in the building?" The floppy-haired boy still refused to say anything. I sighed, whenever my brother got like this there was only one thing that would work. "Well whatever, I'm tired. Some of us need sleep." I turned on my heel and stalked away in what I was fairly sure was the direction of my room. When I got to the end of the hallway I turned and looked over my shoulder, Deidara was gone.

I shrugged to myself, he was hardly going to just give in and tell me where the others were. But while he was around it would have been even harder to look around properly. I adjusted the strap on my bag; it had been cutting uncomfortably into my neck while I was running. I was going to find those ninja and keep a close eye on them until Ed worked his genius magic and got us out of here.

I'd found them once already in this ridiculous cavernous labyrinth of a building, I just had to do it again. I'd be damned if they were going to hold me up, I had things to do and constant danger _not_ to be in. But I couldn't leave without knowing that the only homicidal maniacs running around were at least in the script.

I'm also going to do it without you screwing it up, Life.

* * *

><p>Why do you have to screw everything up, Life? If I don't get to stop running soon, I'm going to collapse.<p>

I saw Ed in the distance, turning a corner and sped up. I couldn't lose him. Through the white noise of cars and the chatter of the crowd I heard familiar shouting voices and a terrified scream. I squeezed another tiny bit of speed from my straining leg muscles; if some random passer-by got hurt my mother would probably kill me.

This requires another one of my patented explanatory flashbacks to explain.

* * *

><p>Nothing peaks curiosity like a locked door. Except maybe a locked door that has been blasted off of its hinges and is now lying against the opposite wall, in two pieces. I marked the corner with a piece of white chalk I'd found in Ed and Al's laboratory and promptly forgotten in my pocket, and ran towards the room. The lamps in the corridor outside were dim; there was no light inside the room, but ninja had good eyesight.<p>

"Hello? Sharkbait, Weasel?" I took a few steps into the room. "Your Holy Shirtlessness? Jack the Dripper?" The indistinct shapes of desks emerged from the darkness. I headed for the small clear space in the centre of the room and had the disorienting experience of moving sideways and forwards while falling backwards as a bright light exploded in my face.

"Aw, come on! I wanted to see what would happen if someone was stupid enough to actually walk on it, yeah." The bright light had been the lights in the room flaring to life, and the jerking sensation had been someone pulling me away from the huge Transmutation Circle carved into the floor. In fact their nails were still digging into my wrist, lovely purple nails they were too.

"You never did let me borrow you nail polish, Itachi." I said, "Have you thought about swapping to dark blue? I have a really nice one at home. We can swap!" Itachi released my arm, leaving four neat marks from his fingernails behind.

"It's probably just a trap." Kisame said to Deidara. "Though I can't see why, there's nothing interesting in here anyway."

"Just you guys!" I sad, "So, where are we heading next?"

"Hn, you're not going anywhere. You, little information source, are staying right here, where we can collect you at our convenience." Kisame said, I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You and your information gathering. Fine, where are _you_ going? I didn't spend all this time trying to find you guys just to have you disappear without a trace again." I crossed my arms and started determinedly at the assembled ninja, Kisame chuckled.

"She looks so serious. Come on, let's go." He jumped over the circle on the floor and straight out the window, Hidan and Itachi followed him. Deidara sighed and leant against the wall, looking out the window after his comrades.

"You're not going with them?"

"Nah, I'm supposed to stay here and make sure you don't go too far. Can't have anyone with apparently important information goin' too far away, for now at least." That meant they were coming back, good.

"Well, in that case, we'll have to find something to do around here." Deidara looked at me out of the corner of his eye, probably windering what I was up to. "I suggest baking cookies. Everyone likes cookies!" The blonde just stared at me for a few seconds, then sighed again. "So, which way was the kitchen again?"

"Not that way, and give me back my cloak, yeah!"

* * *

><p>"So, it's kind of like food? People make beautiful art out of food, and then they eat it! Transience at its most tasty!"<p>

"Un, I guess so." Deidara hadn't looked up from his fingernails. I had thought this topic might draw his eyes away from his cuticles for more than a split second. It didn't, he was determined to be as surly as possible.

"Hmm, but what about classic literature?"

"Hey Cathy, and Deidara right? How long have you guys been out here?"

"Morning Al, Ed." Al waved, Ed smiled.

"Have you been baking?" The blonde was sniffing the air and looking at my suspiciously.

"Cookies, you want one? I need some help finishing them." I reached into the pocket inside Deidara's cloak and held out a paper bag to the Alchemist.

"Sure, thanks." Ed took a few cookies and unlocked the laboratory door with his other hand. I peered around as we went in half expecting the whole Akatsuki to be standing in the middle of the room plotting world domination; but no one was there.

"I have a tip for you, Ed. Never party with ninja, they're crazy enough without adding alcohol."

"Where are they?"

"No clue. They're too damn fast for me. They left me behind ages ago; I just decided to wait here for you guys."

"You ready at least?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, I got changed while I was waiting for the no-shows." I had replaced the clothes Abigail and John had given me in Resembool all that time ago with my school uniform. I found a laundry while wandering around with Deidara and managed to get rid of the worst of the stains and wrinkles.

Ed and Al were bent over the chalk circle on the floor, tidying up the lines with surgical precision.

"I'll head out on ninja-watch, be back." I dumped my bag in a back corner and headed out. I was desperately hoping they hadn't decided to vanish into the night and wage war on Amestris.

"Oi, girly, where are you heading in that get up?" I whirled around without having gone ten paces from the door, the three renegade ninja were standing behind me.

"Sharkbait! I have never been so glad to see that mug of yours in my life! Come on, we're getting out of here!" The ninja went all ignored me and walked into the laboratory. "Hey, does anyone want a cookie; Deidara made them with me!"

"I did not, yeah."

"You were super helpful, standing around like that , it was great to have an audience! Which is why I am returning this to you." I undid the fastenings on Deidara's cloak and throwing it to him.

"Okay, we're ready." Ed said, I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I can only do one place at once, it would help if the group of four split in two." Hidan and Deidara moved over to the circle and stood in front of the portal, facing it.

"Bye Deidara, Your Holiness! It was fun!"

"Ready!" Ed called. He and Al knelt down and placed their hands on the circle.

The crackle of Alchemic energy filled the room and the portal frame began to fill with swirling blue energy. After a few seconds a white point appeared in the middle and spread to the outer rim of the frame. Ed nodded to Hidan and Deidara, and they stepped forward into the white light. There was a supernova explosion of light and heat; I screwed my eyes shut tightly. When I opened them the room was dark and Hidan and Deidara had gone.

I dashed over to Ed, who was still kneeling on the floor by the now faded circle.

"Do you know if they got back safely?" I asked, Ed looked at me steadily for a couple of seconds, and then shook his head.

"No. I managed to retrieve a few things I sent through earlier, and all everything that's come through after that dog-thing was intact, but there is still a chance that you could get hurt."

"Maybe you should have mentioned that earlier. I trust you though, Mr Fullmetal Alchemist. If anyone can do this you can." I slapped Ed on the back, "You look like you need a rest, cookie?" I pulled the bag out again, Al jumped in before Ed had a chance to open his mouth.

"I'm going to set the circle up again. You're resting while I do it, brother." Ed leant against the wall and took a cookie. He didn't even try to stand up, just rested his head against the brickwork and closed his eyes. When Al declared that the set up was complete he got to his feet.

"Alright Weasel, Sharkbait, time to go home!" I said happily, as Ed and Al placed themselves along the edge of the circle, and Itachi and Kisame walked towards the centre.

"Ready?" Ed called; I backed away towards the wall. I was almost at the wall when I bumped into something solid and was suddenly jerked forward, landing on my feet in the middle of the circle.

"Wha-?" I tried to turn around but I was being held tightly around the waist, my arms pinned to my sides, by an arm in an Akatsuki cloak sleeve. I recognised the silver and red ring glinting on the pale finger. "The hell Weasel?" I twisted again and caught a glimpse of his gleaming red Sharingan eyes blazing down at me. I started to speak again when the all too familiar sensation of cold metal, this time pressed against my temple stopped me.

"Hey!" Ed yelled, "What the Hell are you doing?" What use would a kunai be against my head?

"Ed!" I called, "Does Weasel have a gun!?"

"Yeah." My heart pounded, but I felt the blood drain from my face.

"W-where did you get a _gun_?" I said, Itachi's grip tightened and the barrel of the gun dug harder into the side of my head.

"Send us all." He said, "We're taking her too."

Well, Deidara had said they didn't want me getting away. For that matter, Kisame had said something earlier about not asking me too many questions "yet." Then this…

"You were planning this the whole time!" I realised. "That's why you let me run around and find Ed and all that stuff, you were just waiting."

"Yes."

"And where the hell did you get a gun anyway!?" He stayed silent on that point. I squinted towards the figures on the outside of the circle. "Do it, Ed." The alchemist was glaring furiously at Itachi, obviously trying to think up a way around this. "If he can't get me away he'll most likely shoot." I had no doubts about Itachi's nerve.

"Do it." Itachi said, I didn't move an inch but I was sure that he was glaring directly at Ed.

"I'll be okay, although I'd rather he didn't have the gun." I said, Ed's fists clenched, his face set. "It's been fun, Ed. Honestly, I'll be fine. Thanks for everything Al." I think I succeeded in smiling. Ed sighed and stepped forward, sinking to his knees in front of the circle. The two brothers activated the transmutation circle and the blue-white light filled the room. Still holding the cool metal of the gun to my head Itachi pulled me backwards towards the centre of the circle, not relaxing his vice-like grip for an instant or by a micron. Kisame stepped in first, Itachi and I followed after him into the white light.

* * *

><p>It didn't happen in an instant like the first time. The white light surrounded me, hot and crushing, and threw me forwards into thin air. I landed with a jarring thud on my side, managing to avoid whacking my head on the ground, but undoubtedly gaining a bruise or two. I gasped for air, solely focused on filling my lungs as much as I could.<p>

It took a moment for me to get my bearings, but I realised two things straight away: First that the ground I was lying on was softer than grass, and of an entirely inappropriate colour (purple) and second; if the hand by my head was any indication, Itachi Uchiha was lying on top of me. Why yes, yes I was blushing. Partly because, well, Itachi, and partly because he was kind of heavy and restricting my breathing a bit.

It was then that I heard a familiar voice, shrill and piercing, calling my name.

"Cathy, darling, I can't get the car started yet. It'll be another ten minutes or so; you won't be too late though." It was my mother's voice, and that was definitely Itachi's hand.

Life… What have you done to me this time?


	15. Different Forest with the Same Old Trees

**Thanks go to DexG23****, crazyquilt, ****Kashagal and Natures Ruler, KenaBeliever, and cor tenebris****for reviewing! You guys made my week! **

**Kashagal and Natures Ruler, HinataUchiha825, and cor tenebris; thank you also for all the Favourites and Alerts!**

* * *

><p>I pushed upwards against the weight on top of me and to my surprise, Itachi rolled off of me. His eyes were closed, but he was breathing. Interesting. I stood up and looked around. I was in my room. That was my bed, my desk and hanging above it was my<em> Naruto poster!<em> I dashed across the room and yanked it off the wall and stashed it in my cupboard.

Finally I turned around and took stock of the situation. I was home. But my adventure wasn't over yet. Lying on the floor of my room were two incredibly dangerous criminals, and one genius alchemist, I added, noticing Ed lying next to Itachi. None of them were awake.

Distantly, I heard the noise of the car starting, after some time it would seem. I didn't even know how long I'd been gone. I looked around again and saw my luminous alarm clock still sitting on my desk; I'd been gone for half an hour! A few seconds passed and I heard my mother's voice from the downstairs landing.

"I've got it! Come one, if we leave now you'll just make the first bell. Let's go!" I stood frozen, what do you do in a situation like that? I stole another look at the three people sprawled across my carpet, they were all definitely breathing, it just looked like they were asleep. I hoped fervently that they didn't suddenly wake up. Footsteps on the stairs propelled me into action, I'd just have to figure something out when I got to school, but for now I needed to go. I dashed to my door and flung it open; this time there was no forest beyond the door, just the stairs and my mother halfway up them.

"Okay, let's go!" I shut the door firmly behind me and chivvied my mother in front of me down the stairs and out the door, stopping to grab my school bag, phone, keys and jacket at the door. We jumped into the car and my mother backed out of the driveway, my eyes flicked upwards to my bedroom window involuntarily, like I was expecting to see Ed or Itachi standing there watching. My mother drove like a maniac, determined to make it to school on time, while I sorted my bag, and mind, out in the back seat. I realised I still had Itachi's kunai in my bag, I buried at the very bottom, under everything else it almost certainly violated the school's weapons restrictions.

My mother had been fairly reasonable in her prediction, but a slew of malevolent traffic lights and idiotic driver meant that we got to school well after the first bell, which warned me that I had five minutes to drop my things off and get to class. Though it hadn't been likely to happen anyway considering I wasn't even sure what day of the week it was anymore.

As usual I was treated to a quick hug and a "Have a good day!" before my mother sped off towards work. I ran for my locker, mostly so I could figure out where I was supposed to be, pulling out my phone as I ran and dialling home. My dad left for work before either me or my mother was out of bed, so there was no one left in the house except our new guests. As expected, they didn't answer the phone; it clicked over to the answering machine.

"Ed? Itachi, Kisame? If you guys are awake and still there, pick up the phone. You can probably hear me, there's a handset in my room." A birthday present a few years ago that I was infinitely more grateful for now than I had been at the time. I waited a few second, in case someone picked up, then continued.

"Look, I'll call back in an hour or so. _Don't_ leave the house; we'll work something out when I get home." This was mostly directed at Ed, the other two would most likely do whatever they felt like. I reached my locker and opened the lock with one hand, swinging my bag into the space. "I'll call back." It was Friday. That meant History first, thankfully a short walk away, to the other side of the science block. I grabbed my books and ran; Mr Grant was brutal regarding latecomers.

I arrived a scandalous fifteen minutes late, but I was only treated to a glare and a disgruntled nod when I walked in the door. I made my way to my seat and sat down, Mr Grant went back to fiddling with the DVD player and I got a moment to collect my breath. When he had wrangled the machine into working, however, he rounded on me, bright eyes turning steely.

"I'm sorry Mr Grant-" I began, he all but rolled his eyes dismissivly.

"You'd want to be."

"Our car wouldn't start thismorning." I contiued, he looked at me a little dibelievingly, as if to say _Is that the best you can come up with?_ "My mother didn't have time to write a note or anything, but if it's a problem you can call and ask her." Mr Grant looked at me seriously for a while, then without saying anything pulled out the roll and began marking off names.

"You okay?" A whisper from my right, it was my friend Margaret, I shrugged and leant in to whisper back.

"I've had a bit of a hectic morning." Mr Grant finished the roll and got up to fiddle with the DVD player once more, he had left it alone so now it wasn't orking again. He managed to coax it into playing something eventually, and a documentary started up.

"What happened to your car?" Another whisper, this time from my left.

"It was too cold thismorning, we were scraping ice from the windscreen for ages, and then it just wouldn't start." I whispered back.

"Be quiet and pay attention!" Mr Grant growled, we turned back to the front, eyes back on the black and white footage from trenches in France, a group of soldiers were hunkered down holding tins of tea.

As soon as I got out of the classroom, I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and dialled home. Once again it went to the answering machine, I left basically the same message, just as I was about to hang up I heard a voice on the other end of the line.

"Cathy? Hello?" Ed!

"I'm here Ed. How're you feeling?"

"Fine. I woke up about half an hour ago, the other two haven't come around yet."

"Thank goodness for that. We need to figure out what to do, can you hang on until I get home after school?"

"I might be able to, but when those two wake up, I doubt they'll be so accepting." I sighed.

"What am I going to do with those two? I don't suppose we could keep them on ice until they go home?"

"Keep who on ice?" People just love sneakng up on me, or am I just unobservant? I jumped, this was getting kind of old, and turned around, phone still pressed to my ear.

"My cousins, they arrived last night and they'ra always so crabby when they travel." To Ed; "I'll call back later, if there's an emergency my number's on the fridge, just dial it.." I hung up and turned my full attention to the gangly blonde in front of me. "Sorry Nick. Did I tread on your toes?" He shook his head. "Where aree we headed now?"

"We are on our way to a double helping of mathematics." Nick replied.

"Well at least it's Friday."

"That is some small consolation, but it only goes a short way towards making up for the horror that is that insulated nightmare of a classroom. When it isn't arctic it's verging on Amazonian!" Continuing to complain at top volume and high speed Nick marched me to my locker, and then led the way towards our maths classroom.

It felt almost surreal to pull out my textbook, slightly the worse for wear after days spent tramping through the forest, and look around to see a whole room full of them. Not that it'd been a huge hit anyway, but it was important to me. I finally got to hand in my homework sheet, also torn, muddy and crinkled around the edges, but there were worse ones on the pile already, which speaks reams about my classmates.

I couldn't stop myself drifting off instead of working on problems. If Nick noticed he didn't comment, he spent as much time working as I did. It had been about 15 minutes when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I thrust my hand into the air and requested permission to go to the bathroom, jumped out of my chair and dashed outside. I yanked my phone out of my pocket, my home phone number popped up on the little screen with HOME flashing above it.

"Ed? What's up, have they woken up yet?"

"I think I hear something upstairs, I called you whileI was going up." I heard muffled thumps as Ed ran up the stairs. "Cathy? They're up." I heard the unmistakable sound of Kisame's voice.

"Crap. We need to get them home, that'll be a bit hard if they skip town never to return. Pass me to Itachi?" I might be able to reason with the Weasel. Ed told him it was me on the other end and handed over the phone. "Weasel?"

"Yes."

"What's the plan?" No answer. "You need to go home." Silence, I sighed. "Can you please stay there? I definitely know where you are this time, I live here. Just wait until I get home,can you do that?"

"No." Damn Uchihas and their one-word answers.

"Itachi, wait!" He didn't. Ed's voice came through the tiny speaker after a couple of seconds.

"That was one hell of a short conversation. They jumped out your window." I swore. "I'm going after them. I'll keep an eye on them."

"Be careful, those guys are really dangerous, I'll be back at home by 4pm, keep an eye on them until then and I can come and join you."

"Who're you talking to?" Nick's face appeared in my field of vision, he flicked his floppy brown hair out of his eyes to peer at me quizzically. "Did your cousins go walkabout or something?" I looked at him blankly for probably a few more seconds than was believable.

"Oh, yeah. Without even telling anyone! Two of them just ran off, but the other one is going after them. I'm going to run off home as soon as school's out and go out to try and find them." Nick shook his head and smiled.

"I've got basketball practice today, or I'd come help out. Tell me if you need a hand with them over the weekend. How long are they here for?" He had plucked the question right out of my mind.

"I'm not sure; it was kind of a surprise visit." I smiled at the half-truth, Nick smiled back. "We should probably go back inside before she notices."

* * *

><p>As soon as the bell rang at the end of the day I ran out of the classroom, shoved my books into my bag and ran for the bus stop. Almost nothing exacerbates a sense of nervousness and urgency like a late bus packed full of men in suits who can't seem to remember where they've put there wallet or that buses aren't free. I hoped impatiently from foot to foot for most of the forty minute ride to the stop closest to my house, getting more than one strange look from the businessman sitting closest to me. Normally the walk from the bus stop takes around ten minutes, longer when my bag is weighed down to the point of ridiculousness, but on this particular day I ran the whole way in three.<p>

Ed hadn't arrived back by the time I burst in the door. I ran up the stairs to my room, feeling a slightly uneasy sense of _Déjà vu. _The window was still open. I left the door slightly ajar and sat down on my bed to wait, but I didn't stay there long. Within two minutes I was up and pacing across my carpet. Should I have let Ed go out by himself to look for Itachi and Kisame? Looking for dangerous criminals in strange cities wasn't exactly out of the question for him, but I still felt worried. It had been about five minutes of pacing and fretting when the small blonde hauled himself through the window and onto the floor with a thud. I hurtled across the room towards him, asking if he was okay and offering a hand to help him up.

"I'm fine. Those two could cause some real havoc, no one's noticed them so far but it's only a matter of time."

"Where are they?" Ed's brow furrowed.

"Do you have a map? I could try to pinpoint where we were from here." I nodded and ran downstairs to get him a map. He spread it out on the kitchen table and traced along it with his finger, starting at my house and moving outwards in a widening spiral. After a few seconds he tapped the paper sharply and looked up at me.

"I'm pretty sure they were around here when I left them." I peered down at the place he had indicated. It wasn't too far away, we'd be able to walk there fairly quickly and without too much trouble. I made Ed wait while I got changed out of my school uniform and then barrelled down the stairs. I snatched the map off of the kitchen table and shoved it into my bag.

"How are you going to get them to listen to you?" Ed asked as I locked the door behind us.

"I have no idea. Hey, can you ride a bike? My parents took the car and I can't drive alone anyway." Ed answered in the affirmative so I pushed open the door to the shed and pulled out first my older brother's bicycle and then my own. I gave mine to Ed since we were about the same height and jumped on my brother's.

* * *

><p>"You seem to spend a lot of time out looking for these two; maybe you should invest in a leash or something." Ed called from behind me, I grinned without replying and swerved around a small rectangle of the pavement that was sealed off for work. This particular section of road never seemed to be finished, I'd been skirting around it for months.<p>

As it turns out your vendetta isn't limited to throwing me into other worlds and messing with me there, you haven't given up yet.

Not once in all of the times that I have ridden around that corner have I been blindsided by a terrified high-pitched scream and a woman running in front of my bike. I braked hard and jumped off of onto the pavement, leaning my bike up against the wall of the nearest building and diving into the crowd that was forming around the doors. Crouched in the middle of the circle of silent watchful businesspeople was a woman. Her head of cascading red curls was cradled in her hands and she was screaming as I'd only imagined banshees would scream. As I slid closer through the crowd I could make out distinct words within the stream of screeching noise.

"Horrible blue monster!" She sobbed, "He _killed_ Frederick and ran off! That way, please someone help!" A few people turned in the direction that she pointed, and one man took two whole steps, but no actual progress was made. The man lying prone next to her, Frederick, looked like he was breathing, he'd probably just been Sharingan-ed. Ed had been standing directly behind me, he motioned to the bikes, leaning against the building like the weirdest metal horses on earth. We both jumped on and rode away.

The woman's screams were still ringing in my ears as we hurtled around the corner and continued to weave our way through yet another street packed with suit-clad public servants heading home. After so long with Itachi and Kisame, it was disconcerting to be back home riding around my home town like nothing was wrong, save for the fact that Itachi and Kisame were going on a mad rampage through yet another defenceless city.

"Cathy, over there!" Well speak of the weirdly dressed ninja-devils, we stopped at the foot of a pedestrian bridge packed with white shirts and suit jackets on legs. "We're not getting these things through there. Come on." Ed jumped off his bike and started shoving through the crowd. "I see them!" Ed called over his shoulder, I craned around shoulders and briefcases and spotted Kisame and Samehada by the other end of the bridge. Ed darted away through the crowd, sliding through gaps and even flipping over people, I followed after him in my own less graceful way; with a lot of shoving.

The terrified screams of the civilians ahead changed; mingling in with the at first faint, inhuman scream of a police siren. Well, that makes things much more interesting. I dodged as fast as I could through the horde of grey pinstripes and pencil skirts, and almost steamrollered straight into Ed as he came barrelling back through the crowd to reach me.

"They're coming back this way!" Distantly I heard the sirens had changed directions, getting steadily louder as they came towards us. Ed pointed upwards, the two ninja were running along the window ledge of the office building next to us, as we watched they jumped clear across the street and with another bound vanished over the edge and out of sight.

Ed sped past me, veering onto the road and narrowly missing the police cars still pursuing the two renegades. I ran onto the street after Ed, dodging parked cars and the occasional cyclist in the pressing throng of curious citizens, standing with their eyes up and mouths open either in shock or because they were talking for all they were worth.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Jenny, is it on the news?"

"Excuse me!" I shoved through a chattering group of ladies, all holding mobile phones to their ears and standing in the middle of the now blocked off street.

* * *

><p>It is at this point that we are caught up to the present. I only have one question left for you Life, what the hell do I do now?<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey, you roof hop sometimes don't you?" I yelled, finally coming level with Ed as we ran into a deserted side street, "Can you get up there to try and go after them as the crow flies? I have to stay down here." Ed nodded and ran over to the nearest building, he slammed his hands together and pressed them to the side of the building.<p>

Nothing happened.

* * *

><p><strong>=O Oooooooh!<br>So, I spent 8-9 hours in hospital mostly waiting for them to see me and then tell me that I could leave. But the first thing I thought when the whole fiasco started was "I'm still finishing the damned chapter" If the ending feels a bit weird, now you know why. I'll see you next time! **


	16. Sharkbait and Weasel's Whirlwind Tour

**I would like to bestow a whole wheelbarrow of gratitude upon cor tenebris and Wolf579 for giving me the heads up about Fanfiction deciding to eat the last chapter instead of posting it for people to see. (No smiley faces for you ) Also more thanks to cor tenebris, crazyquilt, DexG23, and Kashagal and Natures Ruler for Reviewing the chapter when it finally made its appearance. **

**Thank you to Krawrz for following and favouriting!**

**Man this took forever, I wish it was more awesome to compensate. Ah well, it is what it is. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

><p>Ed was frozen, palms pressed flat against the wall in front of him. The tension flowed up from his fingertips and he pressed his hands harder and harder against the smooth glass, flowing across his shoulder blades and down his spine. His face was utterly still and stark white, like someone had snuck up behind him and dusted his skin with a light coating of flour. All of a sudden he pulled backwards, slapped his hands together again and this time brought them down on the concrete beneath his feet. Once again, nothing. He tried transmuting his Automail arm next, to no avail.<p>

"What the hell!?" he tried one more time, slapping his hands together and bringing them back to the building in front of him. "Nothing's happening, I can't go up after them." He stood and looked up towards the top of the building for a while then turned away. "We'll just have to keep running, then. Come one!" Without looking back, without a second thought Ed zipped off into the muddle of executives and managers, I trailed behind him.

"I did mention we didn't have Alchemy." I said as we rounded a corner. Ed didn't reply, his eyes were trained on the lofty rooftops of the office blocks, flicking back to ground level momentarily to navigate large obstacles before darting back skywards. Itachi and Kisame darted in and out of view above our heads, from roof to roof on both sides of the street.

"Hey!" I yelled up in their general direction, "Covert my foot, get down from there!" The few pedestrians who had remained on the street to watch the two ninja turned their heads in unison to follow us as we raced past, following the police cars and glimpses of the two renegades.

"Where do you think they're going?" Ed yelled over the whirring of the bikes as we coasted down a hill towards a busy road at the bottom. I racked my brain, trying to bring up an accurate mental map of the surrounding buildings and rank them in order of importance. Where would intelligence gathering ninja head first?

"I have no idea!" I wailed.

"You have a map don't you, what's out that way?" I slowed down but managed to keep pedalling as I pulled the street directory out and rested it on the handlebars in front of me, it was still open to the same map as earlier. I scanned the area we were heading towards, trying to pinpoint a specific place Itachi and Kisame would target ahead of all the others. We rode through a roundabout and as we emerged onto the street one of the two police cars we had been following came into view, parked on the side of the road. The officers were standing on either side of their car, wearing the matching pale blue shirts and black pants. One of them, a tall strongly built blonde man, was speaking into his radio. The other officer, an Asian woman a little over half his height, was turning slowly on the spot, looking up into the sky as if Itachi and Kisame had sprouted rocket boots and flown away.

"Crap, what do we do now?" I said to Ed, he didn't say anything. His eyes remained dead ahead as we rode slowly past the cars.

"I have no idea, they just vanished." The blonde man said into his radio, I heard a faint reply. "They were running all over the buildings, that park-whatever thing."

Once we rounded the next corner, Ed braked suddenly and jumped off onto the pavement.

"Now, we guess. Give me the map." I handed over the directory and pointed out the road we were on. Ed ran his finger across the map, tapping on buildings and drawing lines, I looked over his shoulder, trying to think.

"Oh my God." Looking up to orient myself, I caught sight of a distant building, and my jaw dropped. Ed's focus remained on the map in his hands, I tapped him on the shoulder. "Do you see something on top of that flagpole over there?" I pointed to the two black dots that were perched on top of the large flagpole that adorned the building cresting the grassy green hill. Even from this distance I could tell that they were too big and not at all the right shape for birds. Suddenly they vanished, appearing a fraction of a second later on the triangular arms of the base, and flashed again onto the roof of the building.

"That's them." Ed said, putting the map away and picking his bike up.

"Oh no." I ran to the corner and looked back towards the police officers, the man was still standing with his radio at his mouth, and the woman was reaching inside the car. "Good, they haven't noticed. We need to get over there." I jumped on my bike and pedalled at top speed in the direction of the hill.

"What is it, what is that place?" Ed jumped on his bike and rode furiously beside me.

"Parliament House." Ed sent me a very clear 'What the hell is that?' look. "It's the centre point for our government, here in the ol' capital. It's where our leader, the Prime Minister, has their offices, and it's where the government meets to argue endlessly about stuff."

"So those guys getting in there would be bad." Ed sped up and pulled ahead of me, determination clear. We pulled over at the base of the hill and I pointed out some racks where we could leave the bicycles.

"Can we just walk around here?" Ed asked as we started the treck up the hill, "You said this was the centre of your government."

"Well they aren't going to let us wander around inside, I've never tried going inside. But I've come up here with friends before to film a video for an assignment." We were close to the top of the hill now, quite a few people were standing in small groups around the outside of the entrance to Parliament House, almost all of them in traditional business suits. I pointed out the dedicated policemen standing guard next to their motorcycles.

"Can you see them?" Ed asked, shading his eyes to look towards the flagpole we had last seen Itachi and Kisame on, helpfully haloed by light from the setting sun. I scanned the structure for the familiar figures, running my eyes along the top of the roof, but I couldn't see them anywhere. Ed tugged on my sleeve and pointed, I followed his eye line and caught a flash of black and red going around the corner. He jerked his head towards it, I nodded and we raced around the side of the building.

Kisame was holding a man up against the wall, in a position I had some experience with; he was being held against the wall by his throat and his toes were only just brushing the ground. As we got closer I noticed the man was dressed in usual public servant attire, and he had short hair and ears that stuck out from the side of his head. Judging by the rate at which his mouth was moving and the deep red flush of his cheeks, he was trying his utmost to answer the questions being posed by Kisame, and judging by the snarl curling across the fish-man's face his best wasn't good enough. Itachi was standing in front of the two of them with his cloud patterned back facing towards us.

"Sharkbait, Weasel!" I ran towards the two ninja, before I'd even taken three steps in their direction Kisame tightened his grip on the politician and vanished. In the same instant Itachi spun around. His Sharingan was blazing, although the expression on his face was the same as always. "Where did Sharkbait take that guy? What were you doing?"

"We are gathering information. That man claimed to have answers to our questions. As he didn't, Kisame is placing him out of the way."

"What does that mean?" Ed demanded, narrowing his eyes and stepping towards the ninja.

"In this scenario; trussing him up like a turkey and shoving him in a cupboard after wiping his memory." Kisame landed suddenly behind Itachi chuckling and flashing his mouthful of pointed teeth. Itachi turned away from us again to focus his glare on him.

"Perhaps this isn't the best place to get the information we desire, the government is different here." Itachi said to Kisame, the blue man nodded and the two looked out across the land spread in front of them.

"We should try our luck somewhere else then." Kisame said, Itachi nodded in response, still sweeping his eyes over the landscape.

"Guys, I could-" Itachi cut through my sentence without so much as a glance in my direction.

"Let's go." He said, he and Kisame made one of their supersonic ninja jumps first up to the top of the flagpole and then out towards the east. They zipped away, nothing more than blurs against the sky. Ed turned on his heel and ran down the hill, calling something indistinguishable over his shoulder and motioning for me to follow after him. I cast one last look across the vista, searching in vain for another glimpse of the two ninja, and then ran after him. I emerged from behind the corner and found myself suddenly making contact with the ground, having bounced off of someone coming around the side of the building from the other side.

"Are you alright?" I looked up, taking the hand extended to me and getting to my feet. Crap. Standing in front of me, smiling a little, was the policewoman we had passed just a few minutes ago. I really hoped she hadn't seen us. I apologised and started backing away, "Have you seen anything strange today, miss?" She asked, "We've had some reports from this area."

"No, sorry." I shook my head, "I really have to get going now. Sorry again, goodbye!" I skidded and slid on the grass but made it to where Ed was waiting without any more trouble. I explained my meeting with the officer as we rode east away from Parliament.

"Where do you think they're headed next?" Ed asked, I shrugged in response; I had the same idea about what they would do next as I did before we found them. Which is to say: none at all. We continued heading east down a different road to the one we had taken to get there, riding in a long line down the main road that ran straight from Parliament house, past the historical Parliament House building –into which I didn't think Itachi or Kisame would go– and eventually making our way towards a looming grey building, sitting at the end of the long straight road.

"What's this place? It faces the government building." Ed remarked as we left our bikes in another bike rack near the car park.

"It's the war memorial. They designed it to face Parliament on purpose." I said as we walked up the stairs leading to the memorial, they led to a long rectangular courtyard, covered walkways ran up the sides with arches providing a view down to the rectangular pool in the centre. We walked along one edge of the pool, peering up into the walkways.

"I don't see them." Ed shaded his eyes as he spun on the spot to survey the courtyard from halfway along the pool.

"I didn't really think they'd be here, I just thought we should check since it's nearby." Ed pulled out the map and held it in front of himself as we walked back to our bikes in the car park.

"Where to next, do you think?" He turned the map towards me, I studied it, we arrived at our bikes and stood next to them. "We might as well keep trying nearby for the time being."

"There's a military academy near here." I indicated to the spot on the map. We both studied the route for a minute, and then Ed stowed the map and we once again got astride our bikes and rode off down the road, keeping an eye out this time for the police.

* * *

><p>It would have been easier to discern whether or not the ninja were in the nearby military academy if we could see more of the academy than the outside wall and the top of a grey fake-stone rock climbing wall, up which a few men and a woman had been moving with enviable confidence and grace for the last fifteen minutes.<p>

"Should we sneak in?"

"_Could_ we sneak in?" I asked, "I see at least four security cameras. Five, actually." Who puts a camera on a tree trunk? The military apparently.

"They're probably not watching them all right now, we're only having a quick look around." Ed offered me a leg up onto the brick wall, pulling himself up behind me. We sat side by side and looked over the campus spread out in front of us. "I don't see anything." The alchemist said, "Did you say there was somewhere else military close to here?" I nodded as he spoke until he suddenly broke off and pointed at the top of the rock climbing wall. Standing perched on top of the wall were two very familiar figures, their cloaks flapping around them in the breeze.

The soldiers already climbing the wall, were thankfully too focused on their target, or too high in the air, to notice the two heavily armed menacing ninja standing unperturbed on the very top. They clambered around for a few more minutes without once noticing them. As they walked away Ed jumped off of our perch and ran towards the climbing wall, I hesitated on the edge of the wall for a few moments before following him. He stood looking up at the ninja standing at the pinnacle, and as I arrived gave the wall in front of him an appraising glance and ran towards it, jumping up into it and clinging to the small irregular shaped lumps and notches that pitted its surface. He started climbing quickly, almost swinging from one handhold to the next. I ran to the bottom of the wall and latched onto the highest lumps I could reach; Ed was already halfway up the wall.

I pulled myself up and stretched towards the next hold, feeling clumsily with my feet and levering myself upwards excruciatingly slowly. This was going to take a while. Nevertheless I made my way towards the top as fast as I could; climbing the wall as quickly and, keeping in mind the military personnel wandering freely around the nearby area, as quietly as I ever had before.

"Ugh, you are so _slow_, girly. Even those idiots over there were faster than you." Kisame jeered, I looked up towards his voice; he was squatting on the metal bar that the safety ropes were usually run through. Looking at it reminded me that I was currently wearing not a single gram of regulatory safety equipment. The resulting clenching of my hands and spreading, tingling weakness that started in, of all places, my kneecaps made it impossible to move for almost a minute. The movies always emphasise 'Don't look down' and it is sound advice; but everyone really should be told very clearly not to look up either.

"Cathy!" Ed called from above me, "Deep breaths, you're just freaking yourself out." I did as recommended and reached for my next handhold, a little to the right of where I was. "That bit's tricky, once you get through it; it's smooth sailing." Ed continued talking me through the movements for the next minute or so, Kisame and Itachi began chatting idly about the academy campus.

"I didn't see anything really useful in my half." Kisame said.

"Neither did I in mine. Not inside this wall, at least." Itachi said after a short pause. "I got the feeling that we could get more intelligence from the buildings we passed through on the way here." Near here?

"Intelligence buildings?" Ed called down to me, that sounded about right, and equally as horribly wrong.

"Wait!" I yelled, steeling myself and looking up towards the three gathered on the top of the wall. Kisame was still crouched out on the empty belaying rod, Itachi was standing behind him balanced on the flat top of the wall, and Ed was sitting near Itachi's feet and leaning forward to look down at me. "Just, stop for a second could you?" I was only metres from the top now, Ed leant down as I scrabbled up the final few handholds and took a tight grip on my wrist to pull my up next to him.

"What could you possibly have to say?" Kisame asked, "Do you want us to go sit quietly in a corner somewhere and wait like patient puppy dogs to go home?"

"Well I'd like it if you stopped short of creating a huge incident, you could… could cause national chaos, international uproar!" My mind was racing, this was most likely stretching the truth close to its limit. Kisame and Itachi shared a secret ninja look and turned back to staring out towards the intelligence buildings. Time to think fast. "You could start a war! A really huge horrible war that could end up, uh," Deep breath, what did my geography textbook say? "Basically if you run around stealing government info and being all weird you could potentially cause World War 3, and _lots_ of people would die." By the end of my sentence I was focusing on one person out of the three: Itachi. Emphasising the possibility or a war and the casualties was my only chance to convince him, and by extension Kisame, to lay low.

Itachi looked steadily down at me as I spoke and he held my gaze silently after I finished speaking. His Sharingan eyes pulsed red. and a breeze blew his hair across his face simultaneously caused the structure below me to sway in an extremely distracting fashion but neither of us broke eye contact, the seconds dragged on; until Kisame broke in asking what Itachi thought.

"Maybe we should consider collecting our information in a more covert fashion, in a place not alerted to our presence." He finally looked away to speak to the blue fish monster. I sagged a little, but my head shot up again when I saw Kisame stand up out of the corner of my eye and jump off of the wall.

"Wait, where are you going!?"

"Even if we tell you, you won't be able to find us." Kisame said. "We're being covert, just like you wanted." With this he ran to the wall, bounded over it and continued away to the East. Itachi nodded silently towards me and Ed, I wasn't really sure what he meant but I appreciated the gesture, and followed his partner.

"Do you think that counted as a success?" I said, kicking my legs idly against the wall.

"Only if we get down from here safely." Ed said, shimmying across the ledge and easing himself down towards the ground. His downwards progress was as quick as his upwards, and as soon as his feet touched the grass he was off running towards the fence. I followed after him and he gave me a leg up.

"I kind of can't actually believe we just snuck in there and out again without anyone noticing." I said as we walked over to the large hedge we'd hidden the bikes in and dug them out. "So are we following them?"

"Can we do anything else?" Ed grinned at me, threw his leg over his bike and rode off ahead of me down the road.

* * *

><p>Sometimes it feels like you're trying to teach me something as much as you're trying to make me exquisitely miserable, Life.<p>

For example; when ninja tell you they're going to be under the radar, they mean so far under the radar that they're in danger of dropping back onto it from above. Also, it turned out to be a good idea to let my parents know in advance that I would be home very late because I had been searching for the radar-dropping-off ninja. Too bad I hadn't thought of it and instead had to endure a ten minute lecture over the phone from my mother, resulting in me and Ed going back earlier than we'd planned. I shot my mother a nervous smile as I slunk into the kitchen, she sighed and picked up a plate from the counter next to her.

"Eat first, I kept your food warm. We'll talk more after dinner." I smiled in earnest and took the plate. She followed me to the dining table and sat across from me, nursing a mug of tea and watching me eat. Conscious of Ed waiting outside I focused single-mindedly on inhaling my food. When I finished, my mother cleared her throat, my eyes snapped to her face, her expression remained one of subdued calm.

"I'm sorry I didn't call." I began, she held up her hand.

"I'm sure there's a reason, but we were still worried. Please remember to call next time, especially if you'll be out after dark." The after dark rule was an old one, and it looked like it would be with us for many more years to come.

"I will, I'm really sorry." I assured her, she smiled, her whole face relaxing from a pinched mask to the fluid joyful face I usually saw. I gave her a quick hug and ran up to my room, passing my father in the lounge room watching the television, dinner seated firmly on his lap.

When I made it upstairs I ran to the window in my room and slid it open, sticking my head out and looking down I could see Ed standing exactly where I'd left him.

"Hey," he looked up. "Can you get up here?" A nod. It was impressive; there wasn't a conveniently placed tree right outside my window, nor any easily climbable ivy. But he made it anyway, dragging himself up over the windowsill and onto the floor. He closed his eyes for a moment, and I smiled at the now weirdly familiar scene. After a few seconds Ed opened his bright gold eyes and jumped to his feet.

"What do we do now? Are we going to keep looking?" I nodded and pulled out our trusty street directory, spreading it out on my desk, I pointed to the place Itachi and Kisame had disappeared from.

"That's where we started," I tapped a position a distance right of the building, "and that's where we turned around. We should start up again in that general area."

"Yeah," Ed nodded. "I don't much like our chances of finding them in the dark though. We should pick it up again tomorrow."

"Great. I'll rustle you up somewhere to sleep. If you're okay with the floor, I have a mattress under my bed." He was okay with the floor, he fell asleep almost as soon as his eyes drifted shut, I stayed up a little longer, making another appearance downstairs, and getting into my pyjamas, but still ended up in bed, dead asleep, much earlier than usual.

* * *

><p>Sneaking Ed around my house was a lot easier at five o'clock in the morning on a Saturday; no one was awake so it was the perfect time for Ed to shower and eat some breakfast, though he still did the latter in my bedroom. I was running up the stairs, plate of eggs, bacon and toast balanced carefully when someone knocked on the door. I stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and turned around, first setting the plate on the counter and walking out through the kitchen and lounge room, past the staircase upstairs to the front door. As I reached for the handle I looked around for a clock. Who knocks on the door at six thirty?<p>

"Hey Cathy, you skipped out yesterday, what's up?" Leaning against one side of the doorframe, curly hair flopping in front of hazel eyes that sat a comfortable six feet off of the ground; was Nick. "I won't tell, the teachers didn't notice anyway, I'm just curious. Can I come in?" He sailed past me into the house, automatically I closed the door behind him. "Your folks are never up this early, I figured you wouldn't want them to know either." He continued, strolling further into my house.

"Nick," I began, not really sure where I was taking that particular sentence. I was saved the bother or figuring it out by the sound of uneven footsteps on the stairs.

"Cathy?" Ed's voice. He paused on the bottom step, noticing Nick. "Oh, hi." Nick stared without speaking for a few seconds, then walked slowly over to Ed and held out his hand.

"Hey, I'm Nick. Awesome Edward Cosplay. Bit early in the morning though, isn't it?" Ed took his hand and shook it a tad gingerly, a frown creasing on his brow.

"Cosplay?"


	17. Whale Spotting with 007

**Okay, much thanks to Wolf579, DexG23, KenaBeliever, and Kashagal and Natures Ruler for the heart-warming, motivational reviews made of awesome.**

* * *

><p>"Yeah, Cosplay, you know." Nick tugged at Ed's jacket, looking almost as confused as the blonde did. "This coat looks awesome, by the way, great fabric choice."<p>

"Thanks, I think." Ed ran his un-gloved right hand, previously held in his pants pocket, through his hair. As he brought it down by his side again, Nick gasped and grabbed his wrist.

"This is the best Automail I have ever seen, how the hell did you do it?" Ed's confusion deepened. I slid past the two into the kitchen and grabbed the plate I had left on the counter.

"Here, why don't you go upstairs to eat?" I shoved the plate into Ed's hands, "Are you hungry Nick?" Confident of the answer I walked back into the kitchen, flicking my hand surreptitiously at Ed, he nodded and started up the stairs to my room.

"Pancakes?" Nick asked hopefully, ever distracted by the thought of free breakfast. I started rooting around in my father's precisely organised kitchen cupboards.

"Did you find those two cousins of your?" Nick leant against the doorframe, legs stretched out to the corner opposite; I broke an egg into my mixing bowl and stirred the pancake batter vigorously.

"Yeah, we found them alright; they went out again almost straight away though." I bent down and pulled a frying pan out of the cupboard, knocking another one off the shelf at the same time, narrowly missing my foot.

"Huh, that's interesting," Nick continued, something in his tone was putting me on edge, "I remember you talking about your family; you said that you only had _one_ cousin." I did, she was four and lived in Florida, but somehow I'd forgotten that when I was lying to Nick. How do you forget that? Nick was watching my closely with a look I'd often seen on his face on the basketball court; this was Nick spoiling for a fight, or aiming to win something. "So, something's happened that you feel is important enough to lie about, if poorly." I studiously ignored him, focusing on pouring a circle of batter into the pan, tilting it to spread it further. Nick let the silence rest for a few seconds. "And I'm sure it has something to do with that cosplay guy. What the hell's he doing here anyway?" I worked the edge of the spatula underneath my pancake and flipped it over; maybe a little too brown. I turned away to let the other side cook, and came face to face with Nick.

"Jeez! Can people stop sneaking up on me like this!? It's really off-putting!" I pushed Nick in the centre of the chest and he took a half step backwards.

"Something is going on." I turned around, slid the pancake from the pan to a plate and shoved it towards Nick.

"Nothing's going on. Go eat, more's coming." Nick never spoke while he ate; a product of his father's house rules. He always found somewhere to sit, and used cutlery with almost everything; keeping him eating was an effective way to stall for time while I tried to think of something to say. It was Saturday, so my parents wouldn't make anything resembling an appearance downstairs until after 11 o'clock, and that was much too far away to be relying on them to come and save me, once again I was left to my own devices. Which turned out to be pancakes?

Two mixing bowls of batter later I heard footsteps on the stairs. Unless we had been so loud the dead had risen and chased my father from his bed; it had to be Ed. As the small silhouette appeared in the doorway, my heart constricted.

"Hey." I said, "Come on in; just dump your plate on the counter." He did so, sitting down on the opposite side of the table to Nick and watching him as he ate the remaining two and a half pancakes I had made for him. I started washing the utensils, adding Nick's plate when he was done.

"So, you were with Cathy yesterday?" Nick said, Ed's eyes flicked to me and back and he nodded. Nick smirked and started interrogating the blonde; where did we go, what did we do? Ed let him ask the rapid fire questions, and waited for me to finish drying and replacing all of my dishes.

"We should probably get back to what we were doing, actually. Don't you think Cathy?" He stood up from the table; I stepped back from the counter and looked at Nick one last time. He was a good friend; surely he could be of some help? He would never believe it though; we had no time to waste trying to convince him. Either way, we should get out of the house before my parents got up, he didn't seem to want to hell them but experience showed that he would if he felt it was necessary. I followed Ed out of the kitchen, tiptoeing past the base of the stairs. Leaning against the wall next to the door was a small backpack I had packed the night before with food, water, our trusty map, and a few other helpful things.

"I'll come with you." Nick said, coming out of the kitchen and following us out onto the porch. "I mean, your parents would probably think it was weird if I was hanging around their house without you, but I meant now as well. Where are you going?" Ed was pulling his coat on over his clothes, Nick grabbed hold of his Automail arm again.

"This is just so awesome! Did you make it yourself?"

"Nah," Ed shook his head, smiling, "I never did that stuff. Are you interested in Automail? I'd open it up and show you but I can't reliably fix it right now, so I probably shouldn't." Looking only marginally uncomfortable Ed let him turn his arm over and manipulate the finger and wrist joints.

"Wow, the attachment look so realistic. It's almost like…" Slowly, Nick released Ed's arm and rotated to face me. "Cathy." He didn't' seem able to say anything else, his eyes flicked one more time over Ed's entire body. "That… Automail is real. He has real mechanical Automail screwed into his torso!" Ed pulled his jacket back on and slid his gloves on.

"You okay?" He asked, Nick whirled around all at once and grabbed my wrist.

"What the hell? What kind of crazy cosplayers are you hanging out with!?" I looked at Ed.

"You did it with Winry, and she didn't even know you. We have a whole city to search."

"Alright." I took a deep calming breath through my nose, "This is going to sound crazy, but if you could bear with me I'll be your very best friend forever. This is Edward Elric. He came through a trans-dimensional portal with me and two crazy homicidal ninja. He was in charge of operating our Alchemic doorway and was pulled through accidentally." Nick was staring like Santa Claus had knocked on his door, asked to have tea and then hit him in the face with a sparkly Easter Bunny wearing a tutu. His mouth closed slowly, he wet his lips.

"How does that work under Equivalent Exchange anyway?" Ed smiled.

"I don't know, honestly, and since I'm speaking honestly, I didn't actually come through with you all that accidentally."

"Spoken like a true scientist! Wait, what? You did that on purpose!?" I gaped at Ed.

"Come on, did you think I was just going to give up when that guy was holding someone at gunpoint? I made some last minute modifications to the circle just before I activated it, and slipped in behind you guys."

The three of us watched each other for a few seconds, Ed and I making sure that Nick wasn't about to faint or something, he was probably making sure that we weren't obviously drunk. "I'd like more of an explanation, if you don't mind. It's not that I'm unwilling to believe you; this is just kind of hard to take in. How, when, where? 'What', would also be nice." Nick smiled as he sank onto the steps leading up to the porch.

I sat down next to him, not really sure how to begin my story; but an academic lifetime of drilling by English teachers told me the best place to start was the beginning. I cast my mind back and ordered my thoughts. Tell it like a story.

"It was about 7:30 on Friday morning when I left. I spent the last nine days in Amestris."

"But you were never gone! I saw you on Thursday! Unless you somehow crammed nine days into two hours, you are now a time traveller!" That didn't sound right to me, and Ed couldn't really explain it either. "Putting that aside, who were the ninja?"

"Keeping in mind that you're listening to me, we've decided I'm not crazy; I met Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki."

"No way." Nick was shaking his head, "Did you fall into some magical crazy world where everyone lives side by side as neighbours? Who else did you meet, Noddy? A bunyip perhaps?" I moved my bag off of my feet, and remembered the kunai buried at the bottom of my PE bag, sitting upstairs in my bedroom. I told Nick and Ed to wait for me and jumped to my feet. I ran up the stairs as quickly and as quietly as one can run up hardwood stairs while wearing shoes and into my bedroom. I grabbed my bag and turned it upside down over my bed, the kunai landed on top of the pile and I grabbed it. I ran back down the stairs and back out to the two sitting on the stairs.

"Look! A kunai, I got it from Itachi." I threw the knife-thing into Nick's lap.

"Well, either I believe you or I don't." He sighed, turning the kunai over in his fingers a few times. "How did they get to Amestris, same way as you?"

"Yep, we even ended up in basically the same place. They were plucked right out of one forest and dumped in another one, and then they found me." Another quiet nod, Nick handed the kunai back.

"And now those two are loose in the city? They went to _Parliament_?" Ed had given him a rundown of the chase the previous day, "Last seen hanging around Federal Defence buildings?" I nodded. "My life is a James Bond movie. If James Bond was crossed with Torchwood and then dragged through the internet. I'm coming to help you look for them. I brought my car."

"Hey, seeing that thing again reminds me: how's your arm?" Ed asked, I pushed my shirt aside to show him the lumpy scab spread across my shoulder.

"Really well, actually. Your Central doctors are nothing to be sneezed at."

"Neither s that cut, who'd you piss off?" Nick asked, I related the story we piled into his car. "Maybe not one of your best ideas."

"Nope, and I know that. But there are plenty of people who don't have any idea how crazy these two weirdos are, we should probably go find them." Ed suggested at that point that since there were more of us we split up to cover a little more ground, suggesting that he take a bike and ride around from the military academy where we lost the ninja. Luckily Nick's boot was big enough for a bicycle, I taught Ed how to use my phone as we drove.

"You guys rode pretty far. I probably would have as well, if _Itachi Uchiha_ was running around, with Kisame as well. He's pretty cool and all, but he's also a crazy half-shark man."

"I call him Sharkbait." That set him laughing.

"How are you still alive? This is the _Akatsuki_. I honestly wonder, and as this light is apparently bound to stay red for eternity you have plenty of time to fill me in." The light did eventually change, but we did still have plenty of time. With a lot of help form Ed I put together a coherent narrative of my nine days in Amestris. I started in the mountain forest in Resembool, and described the walk to Central, the many train journeys. We each gave our account of the visit to the headquarters of Crazy Inc. Ed lost both me and Nick when he started explaining his various theories and the stages in the creating of Alchemy that would take us home. I had a lot of fun relating my quality time with Hidan and Deidara, especially the way I won Deidara's cloak.

"I was so lucky I can hardly believe it. At first they might actually have wanted my information. I tried as hard as I could to make it look like I knew something worthwhile, and in the right hands I guess I do. Once they realised they could just manipulate the situation and take me with them, it didn't really matter what I did."

"Okay, _your _life is a way higher budget James Bond movie than mine, though it sounds like it wasn't as fun to live through as you'd think."

"Hey, baking is heaps of fun; you just have to give it a chance." I few stories related to Ed about our mutual total failure of our school's cooking class later we pulled up outside the military academy. Ed jumped on the bike and sped off, we drove in the opposite direction.

"So, where do you think they might have gone?" I asked Nick as we peered out at the scenery, searching it for ninja.

"Well, eventually there's the airport, maybe they got on a plane and got the hell out of here." Nick suggested.

"I really hope they didn't do that. They did say they'd be lying low somewhere."

"Well, before the airport there's a crapload of government buildings, and more suburbs. It's not like we have nuclear weapons stashed anywhere on this continent. How much damage can they do?" He called Ed, who had passed over looking in the nature park next to the academy, deeming it like; "Looking for an invisible, moving needle in a haystack half the size of Central." He was instead heading back to the city centre where we had first seen them.

Nick tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, deciding where to go. Eventually we ended up outside the closest block of government buildings. We poked around the exterior of the first building, keeping a close eye on the rooftops and watching for suspicious public servants wondering what the hell we were doing.

"I really don't think we're going to find anything here, unless we have a contact in any of these places?" We didn't, so it was back in the car and off on what would become an automobile tour of my home.

* * *

><p>"I kind of wish we'd brought Ed along now." I mused as we drove around the border of the west basin, "It's kind of like a sightseeing tour."<p>

"Or whale spotting."

"Except we've both seen the lake, and there aren't any whales." There weren't any ninja either. Itachi and Kisame weren't at the lake, or in any of the libraries, museums, historic monuments shaped like animals, food courts or courts of law, that we visited. The longer the search stretched on the more anxious I became. They were fine as long as I could see them, at least I knew what they were doing, but as soon as they were out of sight they could be anywhere and everywhere; like spiders. Nick stopped to get a milkshake and feed some ducks, I checked in with Ed while he did. Ed had also found ducks and seen not a single hair of our quarry.

"You know what would make us feel better?" Nick said as we once again got into his car, "A nice visit to Roderick. Let's go! We can keep looking for your ninjas on the way." I usually saw him on the way to school but Nick didn't get to. Roderick was the name we had given a large statue of a white owl that had inexplicably appeared one foggy morning in mid-winter, along with a few other pieces of modern art dotted around the city centres. Because of where he was placed most people going to our school passed by him in the mornings, and slowly the myths were spun around him. He became Roderick the crime fighting space owl, and he always featured in the end of year pranks. We arranged to meet Ed there as well to formulate a different strategy.

As we walked across the road towards the large traffic island on which his plinth stood, Nick grabbed my arm, "Cathy!" He pointed to the base of the statue; there, leaning on his sword and looking amused, was Kisame.

"Sharkbait! We found you, do we win something?"

"What's this, a friend of yours?" Ha appeared in front of Nick, towering over him and leering, Nick grinned, pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures in quick succession, sending one to Ed.

"Nick, nice to meet you Kisame." He said, holding out his hand, which Kisame ignored.

"Sharkbait where's Weasel?" I fully expected the ninja to materialise just at the sound of his name, but he disappointed me. Kisame laughed, jumping back to lean on Samehada, which he had left in Roderick's shadow, obviously totally unintimidated by anything my world had to offer. "Itachi's still off looking around. Waste of time if you ask me, there's nothing in this world so far that was remotely interesting." I started walking towards Kisame, preparing to defend the interesting-ness of my world, or at least call him some names. I was making a list of a few choice ones when something hit me hard in the back of the head, pitching me forward into the dirt.

"This world, you said? Did you say 'this world'? So you're from another one then!?" A high pitched voice nattered; I picked myself up, brushing the pale brown grit off of my shirt. The source of the voice seemed to be a white blur, about the size of Kisame's fist. It was bouncing up and down on top of his head.

"What the hell?" He said, reaching up to try and grab the thing but it bounced out of his reach onto the ground.

"Maybe you're travellers too! That would be lots of fun!" Kisame's hand flashed through the air and he held the thing in front of his face. Now that it wasn't moving I could see that it was white all over except for splashes of pink on the soles of its big rabbit feet and the insides of its long floppy ears, one of which Kisame was holding in his ninja death grip, and the bright red dot in the middle of its forehead. It protruded slightly and caught the light like a jewel or polished piece of glass. A matching earing was attached to the ear Kisame was holding. The thing wiggled around furiously for a few seconds and stopped to keep speaking. "Mokona hopes you're travellers, even if this one is mean!"

"Mokona? Have I heard that before? Have you?" I asked Nick, Mokona continued to jabber away at Kisame in the background, the ninja held him at arm's length, scowling.

"Maybe, it sounds kind of familiar, I'm not really certain." Suddenly someone came barrelling in between the two of us, landing next to Kisame and the white Mokona thing.

"Mokona! You ran off without us, Kuro-tan's all mad!" A lanky man clad in nondescript blue and black, blonde hair falling in feathery layers to just above his chin, was leaning down to speak to Mokona, he smiled and turned bright blue eyes on Kisame. "Mokona is very curious; we don't meet many other travellers." Kisame shoved Mokona into the blonde man's hands.

"Hey Fai, this is where it's coming from, the energy that Mokona was sensing!" The little white fluff ball piped up once he was nestled happily in Fai's hands. "It's a little weaker now, but it's all around them, those two as well." It pointed a little stubby paw towards Nick and me.

"Oi!" A huge black shape cannoned into Fai and Mokona, the yell was shatteringly loud and intimidating, "Where the hell did you two idiots go!?" This man was about as tall as Kisame and muscled to the same extent, he was also wearing a black cloak, although it was of a slightly different cut to the Akatsuki ones and it was missing the clouds, underneath it he was wearing all black clothes and had a sword strapped to his hip. Pointed teeth and red eyes caught my attention as he turned to look at us.

"Oh my god." Nick said next to me.

"I know, he looks like Itachi and Kisame's love child. Think it could happen? Is he a ninja too?"

"What? No, although now I won't be able to get that image out of my head ever, so I hate you now. I know these guys!" He pointed at Fai, Mokona and the latest beanstalk tall addition. "I only heard about them recently." He leant in closer and whispered his explanation, "They're part of a group who go universe hopping using the Mokona thing to find these magical feathers that contain the memories of one of their members. Fai is a magician, only he doesn't really use his magic, the tall guy _is_ actually a ninja-samurai-warrior sort of guy, his name's Kurogane. There's also a princess named Sakura; it's her memories they're searching for, and a kid named Syaoran. They're almost certainly somewhere nearby. Why the hell does this stuff keep happening to you!?" Kisame and Kurogane were eyeing each other, taking note of weapons and possible threats.

"Right, a wizard, a ninja, a princess and a guy. What the hell is Mokona then?" The little white thing heard its name and bounced out of Fai's hands, landing on my head, "Mokona is Mokona! Who're you? You have the feel of someone who's travelled between worlds, but Mokona can't tell how. Oh, there's another one!" Ed ran across the road behind us and skidded to a halt between Nick and me, surveying the group.

"Who are these guys? Where's Itachi?" I shrugged.

"More dimensional travellers apparently, the white thing on my head's called Mokona, and the dark one staring at Kisame is a ninja and I've forgotten his name already, and the blonde one is kind of loud."

"Can they help us get home?"

"Kurogane is the ninja, Fai is the blonde, and they might actually be able to help." Mokona bounced up and down on top of my head a few times.

"Mokona takes them across worlds, but we can't go to anywhere in particular, for that you need to ask Yuuko!"

"The Space Time Witch, she runs some kind of shop and sells you the things that you want, kind of like a genie only you pay." Nick said under his breath. "I'm fairly sure they can contact her, we could make a deal for trips home for your friends."

"Where are Syaoran and Sakura? You didn't leave them all alone did you? What a bad Kuro-daddy!" Fai said to Kurogane, dancing around him to evade the irate ninja's blows.

"Stop calling me that! The girl was tired so I left them under a tree near here. If you didn't have to go chasing after that stupid manjuu creature I wouldn't have had to do it." Mokona bounced on my head again, protesting that it had to come and find us to figure out what the energy source was. "We were really close by anyway! It doesn't feel like Sakura-chan's feather, but it might be covering it."

"A feather?" Ed asked, "You're looking for a feather?"

"It's not just any usual feather, it should be fairly powerful." Fai said.

"I haven't really heard about anything like that here," I said.

"Mokona can't tell if there is one or not, it can feel energy but it's not quite right." Mokona said mournfully.

"Well," Nick said, "why don't you hang around for a little bit and make sure? I can put you guys up at my house, my parents are away on business and my sister and I are in charge of the house."

"That's convenient." Kurogane noted, Nick shrugged, it happened to him a lot.

"That's very kind of you!" Fai smiled sweetly, "If it won't cause you too much trouble, we'd love to stay with you."

"Shall we go and find the other two?" Nick suggested, "There are five of you including Mokona right?" I arranged to get the bus home, and Ed could ride. That just left Kisame and the still missing Itachi. I told him that I was hoping that the Space Time Witch could get them home, but that the traveller's wouldn't be staying long.

"Alright then, girly. We'll turn up sometime soon." He vanished. Nick called for us to leave, and we lead Kurogane and Fai back to the car park. Fai made a strange sighing, whistling noise and jumped happily into the front seat, chirruping something about enjoying riding in cars. Kurogane looked over the car in fine detail before climbing gingerly (as much as an almost two metre tall man with a giant sword can) into the back seat. I waved goodbye to Ed, telling him I'd see him back at my house and jumped in next to Kurogane.

"I'll walk to the bus stop from where you're picking up the other two." Kurogane described the place he had left Sakura and Syaoran. Nick estimated it would take about fifteen minutes to get there, after double checking the route he started up the car and backed out onto the street.

"Hey, is that music? Sounds cool!" Mokona jumped over my lap to sit on one of the backseat speakers that was just behind my head, it was tuned to one of Nick's favourite radio stations. Run by a group of his friends; it didn't have much of a specific theme or demographic in mind, they just made up the schedule depending on what they felt like, and took requests if anyone ever called them. Currently they were playing an electric string quartet covering famous punk songs. Nick turned the music up slightly so it could be heard easily throughout the car.

"Hn, what kind of instruments are those anyway?" Kurogane asked, Fai smiled and declared that he liked it. He said the same of the next six songs, all of them completely different styles, smiling good naturedly as Kurogane fumed at his 'complete lack of taste'. I said my goodbyes as we pulled up beside a large park, promising to come see Nick on Sunday, best case scenario would be with Itachi and Kisame in tow, ready to send them home.

Of course, relying on the best case scenario had never worked before, but I could still hope.

* * *

><p><strong>This was meant to have more things in it, but it was taking way too long so this is the end of this chapter yaaaay!<strong>

**I'm going to go start the next chapter now.**

**Or sleep for a couple of days, either way.**

**I will also finally eat my victory candy, and pancakes.**

**I rearranged my wall decorations and now Itachi is staring at me. His eyes follow you around the room; it's actually kind of (very) creepy. **


	18. Have I Mentioned?

**That I hate titles? I do. **

**Big thank you to Giraffadon and Kashgal and Natures Ruler for reviewing!**

* * *

><p>What does it say about a bus system when you can get to your destination faster if you ride a bike? Generally that it should be disbanded and replaced with a fleet of bicycle taxis, in my opinion. Alternatively it could be a testament to Ed's cycling abilities. Ed himself seemed inclined to the latter.<p>

My parents were both sitting in the lounge room, my father's head was buried in his newspaper. Tonight appeared to be a 'do whatever you want' kind of night, so once again I managed to sneak by both of my parents and let Ed into my room. It was about five in the evening, so we had some time to fill. Ed pulled the chair out from under my desk and threw himself into it. Looking around idly he snatched a book from the pile of books and loose paper spilling across the desk's surface, hefting it in his hands and turning on my lamp so he could see it better. He read furiously, fast and intent, as a worldview completely different from his own opened up on front of him.

* * *

><p>The sound of the phone startled me as it echoed through the otherwise quiet house, I leant across my bed to check the screen, it was Nick. I answered the phone before my parents could, fearing our newest ninja had gone rogue, or some similar calamity. Nick assured me quickly that nothing had happened.<p>

"They're settling in really well, and I managed to ship Annabel off to her friend Emily's house for the next few days." I didn't have much to do with Nick's sister, but I was glad she wasn't going to be prowling around the house while the travellers were staying there. Normally she didn't care much about what her brother was doing, but Nick didn't want to tempt fate and have this be the one time she did suddenly care. Nick moved in to the reason he'd called: "So, I know we've just discovered a totally new outlook on the construction and contents of the universe but… Mr Shaw's gonna kill me if I don't get my Physics homework done this time, and I forgot my textbook."

"Oh, I'd forgotten about that. What did he want us to do this time, work out the terminal velocity of seven perfectly square ducks skydiving?"

"Something like that, can you come over?" I ran downstairs with the handset still pressed to my ear to ask. "Feel free to stay for dinner, we're already going to have enough for ten anyway by the look of the kitchen."

My mother reminded me that she was well aware of Nick's near empty house and would be calling me home immediately if she heard one rumour about a wild party. She then smiled and told me to be back before dinner on Sunday. My dad drew his head out from the glow of the television screen and interrupted to tell me that he wouldn't need the car, so I could take it. They were in a suspiciously good mood to be sending me off for the rest of the weekend, probably still enjoying the more frequently empty house, now that my older brother had moved out.

"Alright, I'll be over in twenty minutes or so." Ed was sitting next to my bed, head still buried in my history textbook. "I think we may have to sneak you out via the window again." Ed didn't move, "Um, Ed?" Slowly he dragged his eyes away from the text and nodded absently, I walked past him to the desk and dove into the pile of school debris and found my physics books. "See you down there in a minute, feel free to bring the book."

Nick lived on the same side of town to me, only a suburb over so the drive wasn't long. Ed read the whole way, I turned on some music and the dulcet tones of the ten pop songs circulating on the radios that week accompanied us to Nick's house.

He met us at the door when we arrived, "Fai and Sakura are cooking like old Italian ladies in the kitchen, they seem to think I'm about to clone myself spontaneously and develop the appetite of a carnivorous panda. I mean, I know there are now seven of us, plus that white thing, but this could feed ten easily. I'm not even sure where they found all those ingredients. You eat a lot right Ed?" He started leading us down the hall, still talking. "Let's go into the lounge room to work, Kurogane and that Syaoran guy are in here too." He took a left through the archway at the end of the hall into the lounge room. The sandy haired teen I'd seen earlier when Nick dropped me off to get the bus, Syaoran, was sitting in front of the television, Kurogane was hunched over a White Pages, flipping through the maps.

Nick flopped down on the floor in front of the couch where Syaoran was sitting, Ed sat down just behind Nick; he was about two thirds of the way through the book already. I tossed my physics textbook onto the table in front of Nick and sat down, flipping through the pages to find the last bit we had covered. We sat in silence for around a minute.

"So, for this first one, we should probably…"

"Yeah, that would make sense if we…"

"Uh…"

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Me neither. Hey Ed, how are you with physics?" Nick picked up the text book and spun around to face the blonde sitting on the couch behind him, history book sitting finished at his side.

"With what?" Nick flipped to the first page of the book and handed it over.

"The name for a branch of science we have here." Ed screwed up his face in concentration. It took him about fifteen minutes to go through everything we had in a semester. It pays to be a genius, I suppose. Syaoran noticed the history book and, after asking if it was okay, started leafing through it with as much enthusiasm as Ed. Apparently he was a history fan.

"I don't suppose you could give us a hand with this then, Ed? I'm totally lost." I said, Ed nodded and came to sit with Nick and me on the floor, spreading the book out in front of him, and started to talk. His style was logical and fairly easy to follow, and we made it through the first two problems without a skydiving duck in sight.

Fai burst into the room and called us for dinner. "Sakura and I worked super hard."

"Mokona too!" Shrilled the white fluffy ball sitting on his shoulder. We all filed into the dining room and were met with the largest amount of food I had ever personally witnessed in one house. If tables actually groaned when you put too much food on them, this one would be audible in the next street. I recognised stew, roasted vegetables, a noodle dish, a whole fish in amongst more foreign dishes. The smells rising from the dishes were amazing; a thick, layered perfume.

"Wow! Fai, Princess, this is really impressive!" Syaoran said, staring in awe at the spread. Fai laughed and spurred on the conversation from there; "Well thanks Syaoran, the Princess did a lot to help! Hey, Kuro-wan you should try this!" He picked up a plate and shoved it into the ninja's hands. Fai remained in the role of honorary host; dishing out and recommending all the different foods, smiling hugely the whole time. He continued to recommend things to Kurogane and the others, though he never quite managed to say the ninja's whole name: "Kuro-tan, eat this!" Earning a narrowing of rimmed red eyes at every utterance.

Nick jumped in to help Fai as much as he could, fetching drinks and glasses from the kitchen. Despite the relative ages of Fai and Kurogane, Nick had decided it was best that no one drink any alcohol just yet, despite Mokona's protests. On one of these trips to refill a pitcher with water there was a sudden yelp accompanied by the dissonant sound of a heavy glass object crashing to the floor. Nick ran back into the room.

"Um, maybe I should have been expecting this but, Itachi Uchiha is in my kitchen."

* * *

><p>"He freaked me out! He was standing <em>right<em> behind me with his creepy red ninja eyes staring into my soul when I turned around." Nick explained, he was kneeling on the floor sweeping up the shattered remains of the pitcher.

"These ninja; no respect for personal space. Or heart attack risk reduction." I tutted, Fai chuckled and nudged Kurogane.

"Daddy's eyes are red, but we're not scared of him, right Mokona?"

"Mage, don't call me that!" Kurogane bellowed, gripping the hilt of his sword. Still smiling and sounding through his 'terrified' yell as if he was supressing laughter, Fai ran out of the kitchen, Mokona riding on his shoulder.

"Um, did you want some food?" Nick offered the up until now silent ninja. Itachi considered the offer and then nodded, "Fai made a lot, we could probably still feed Kisame if he shows up." Itachi, it appeared, had come without his aquamarine and semiaquatic partner. Kurogane, Fai, and Mokona were still unaccounted for, the rest of us sat down again and continued eating.

"I guess we should make a formal introduction, even if not everyone is here. This is Syaoran and Princess Sakura, they travelled form another world with the other two, Fai and Kurogane and the little white thing called Mokona." Itachi nodded in response to the information, "This is Itachi Uchiha, he and his scary blue ninja partner Kisame came with me and Ed to this world from Ed's home."

"You're a ninja?" Syaoran asked Itachi, "Do you come from Kurogane's country, Nihon?" The ninja shook his head.

"No, I don't come from there. I haven't heard of a land called Nihon." Itachi paused. "My home has a different name." Syaoran and Sakura looked curious but Itachi said no more, blazing red eyes focused on his plate, they didn't question him further. Kurogane and Fai arrived shortly after, and the introduction was repeated for them. Itachi's Sharingan enhanced eyes, which he had used so infrequently since he arrived in my world, swept over Fai and Kurogane's opposing forms, remaining activated and watchful once they too had sat down and re-joined the dinner.

"You guys are trying to get home to your worlds as well, aren't you?" Kurogane shot at Ed, he nodded.

"The way we got here probably won't work to get us back. Although," he turned towards Itachi, "I've been meaning to ask you, obviously that eye thing of yours is still working, can you still do everything here that you could back in Amestris?"

"My chakra is virtually unaffected." Itachi said, "There is a slight imbalanced, similar to the one experienced when coming from our world into yours," he nodded to Ed, "but it is miniscule, as chakra is created from each individual's personal physical and spiritual energy with almost no reference to the surrounding environment."

"It's energy then, this could work." Ed said quietly, "I've been working on an idea I'd like to test out to open a doorway to our worlds again, but it would need a different form of energy to fuel it."

"We're hanging around anyway to see if the Princess' feather is here or not anyway. If your new method doesn't work we can get the white bun to call up the witch for you I suppose." Kurogane said, Ed grinned and agreed on the plan, after Ed had tried his theories, and once Kisame showed up.

Cleaning up after the dinner party wasn't quite as arduous as creating it, but it was close. Everyone, even Itachi, ended up carrying an armful of dishes back into the kitchen, mostly organised by Sakura and Fai; they whisked the plates into piles and deposited them on whoever was standing nearby, Sakura with a little more politeness than Fai, but the same little smile. There was far too much of it to even think about fitting it into the dishwasher, but the portion that would fit was inserted; and Fai declared we would hand wash the rest.

"Kuro-rin, you can dry!" He flung a tea towel at the hulking ninja's face, Kurogane grabbed it out of the air and glowered back at Fai. The blonde smiled and pitched another towel at Syaoran, who managed to catch it as well, "You too Syaoran, Sakura and I can wash."

"Cathy and me can put stuff away, you know where stuff is, right?" I nodded, I was actually kind of unsure, so I took myself on a short tour of the different cupboards and drawers while Fai and Sakura started washing the dishes.

"Hey, Itachi's gone." Nick noted, the ninja had indeed vanished. "He probably never did dishes back at the Akatsuki's Evil Lair, probably never cooks either." Kurogane handed him the first dry plate, setting the chain into motion. We worked like a conveyor belt: a short, clanking and frequently stalled conveyor belt; accompanied by Kurogane's frequent Fai-fuelled outbursts.

By the time we had finished Sakura was almost asleep on her feet, Syaoran took her up to Annabel's empty room to go to sleep. Kurogane and Fai hung around in the lounge room while Ed blew through the rest of the physics work Nick and I couldn't do. Eventually everyone spread out through the house to sleep, Itachi never reappeared.

"He probably went to wrestle bears again or something." I said to Ed.

* * *

><p>"Just start by placing your hands palms down on the circle, like this." Ed knelt down and laid his palms onto the edge of the huge transmutation circle he'd drawn in Nick's driveway, on the other side of the circle Itachi did the same. He had reappeared in the morning, without Kisame, and once again deny me the closure of his bear-wrestling secret. "Now, um, I'm not really sure how this energy of yours works, see if you can channel it into the circle, or get it to interact in any way." Itachi nodded and focused on the chalk covered concrete in front of him, as of late permanently activated Sharingan eyes locked on his fingers.<p>

"I can feel a channel of sorts where energy should pass but…" He furrowed his brow and leant more of his weight onto his hands, as if he could force the chakra into the circle. Smoke started to rise from the place where Itachi's hands met the ground, curling around his fingers and swimming up in reaching tentacles through the air. Muscles stood out across Itachi's arms as his hands spasmed, the pads of his fingers scraped against the ground.

A spark of blue light ran around the edge of the circle, Ed cried out and fell backwards away from it.

"Hyuu." Fai, made an odd sing-song noise, "That was dramatic, wasn't it Kuro-rin?" The two were sitting on the railing of the second floor balcony outside Nick's parent's room, which they had apparently stayed in with Syaoran the previous night. Syaoran himself had gone out with the Princess and Mokona looking around town to find Sakura's feather. They had Nick's phone and some money in case Sakura collapsed or they walked too far.

"You okay over there?" Ed called to Itachi, the ninja stood up slowly; the bottoms of his hands were obviously red and raw, a dark spot sat at the centre of each palm. He flexed his hands, turning them over to examine his palms.

"Is this really safe, shrimp?" Kurogane growled, Ed's jaw dropped and his face reddened. He screamed up at the giant figure perched on the slim metal railing, flailing his arms in obvious rage, Kurogane chuckled in response.

"Kuro-sama can be so mean! You're so tall everyone else looks short anyway, plus we're so high up!" Ed gritted his teeth and glared up at the ninja, Fai swung his feet, humming. Itachi sank to his knees in front of the circle and pressed his palms to the ground again. A tiny spark of energy flew around the rim of the circle, running along the lines towards the middle before fading out. Itachi stood up, flexing his fingers again. The red was deeper than before.

"Your hands look burned, how much do they hurt?" Itachi didn't answer my question, but he let me take hold of his wrist. His palms and the tips of his fingers were bright red, a tiny white blister rested in the very centre of his palms. I tugged gently on his wrist, leading the ninja towards the tap sticking out of the side of the house. "You need to run them under water to cool them down." Itachi moved his hands under the stream of cold water. Nick came dashing out of the house with a large First Aid kit tucked under his arm.

"He should probably keep his hands under there for a while before we do anything, even if it is 'wasting water', I will make up for it. I vow to actually take a four minute shower." Nick grinned. Ed was examining his transmutation circle in the background.

"We got a reaction at least, it's just a bad one." He stooped and ran a finger along the outside line of the circle, where most of the energy had run. The end of his white glove came up stained black; underneath the chalk was a charred depression in the concrete. "Even with a channelling gate structure, I don't think this is going to work." He squatted down next to the circle, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands, and stared as he thought.

Nick placed a bucket underneath the tap, intending to at least water the garden with the extra liquid Every now and then Itachi would take his hands out from under the spray to check their relative temperature and to flex his fingers some more, making sure his hands weren't getting too cold. Nick traded the bucket for a watering can and wandered off to his mother's flower bed.

As the minutes ticked by, Nick walked around the fence and watered his neighbour's plants, then across the street to add some water to the birdbath in the park. About ten minutes into Itachi's tap-side vigil the ninja reached out and turned off the water. I had prepared during the interval; as soon as he stepped backwards I grabbed at his wrist again. He didn't pull back, nor did the expression on his face shift even minutely, his eyes were emotionless swampy pools of black. I released his wrist, holding his right hand gently in both of mine. It was definitely not his first burn, he'd undoubtedly faced worse before this, but Itachi let me dab his hands dry and wrap them up with non-stick gauze and bandages.

"I don't suppose that there's some kind of special inter-dimensional travel chakra you've been holding out on using?" Itachi responded with a silent shake of his head. "Then I guess we're going to ask the witch."

"Syaoran and the Princess probably won't be back with Mokona for a few more hours." Fai said, we were waiting on Kisame as well.

"Might as well keep working, I might find something." Ed said, he left the chalk circle and went inside to the small stack of science books he'd gathered from around Nick's house on physics, biology, astronomy and chemistry, or just any he could find, and spread out across the dining table.

"So…" Nick rocked onto the balls of his feet, swinging his arms for a few seconds before freezing and sticking them in his pocket instead. "What do you want to do now?"

"Anything but drive around looking for Kisame."

"You wouldn't have to drive very far. Hey Itachi, what's up?" The blue monster himself was standing next to the transmutation circle. "What'd you do to your hands?"

"It's just a minor burn." Itachi replied, giving a short explanation of Ed's experiment. "However at this point it doesn't look at all compatible, so we are going to ask the person who gave the others the power to travel." Kisame nodded and jumped up onto the balcony railing to join Kurogane and Fai, Itachi followed him. Nick and I went inside and ran upstairs. There was a little bit of space left next to Fai, Nick and I squeezed ourselves onto it.

"Who exactly will we be asking for help?" Itachi asked, information gathering time apparently.

"That would be Yuuko, she runs a wish shop!" Fai explained, Kurogane growled under his breath.

"She's nuts, gets crazier every time we see her." He grumbled, "Look for another way if you can, travelling across worlds with her is expensive."

"How expensive?"

"Very, but not in terms of money. You can pay with a variety of things at her shop." Fai said, "A precious possession, even metaphysical things like memories, as long as you pay with something and it's balanced. Getting to a home world is very hard for one person to obtain."

"What kind of things can you wish for?" Kisame asked.

"I'm not really sure what's possible and impossible in that shop." Fai answered, "You have to make sure you don't ask for more than you can pay."

"Shouldn't someone tell Ed this beforehand as well?" Nick said, "Before we talk to this witch."

* * *

><p>"As long as I'm willing to pay a fair and equal price…" Ed mused, his gloved Automail hand curling into a fist. "It's like Equivalent Exchange, you can't get without paying." He leant on the railing Nick had vacated in favour of a chair and looked out towards the horizon. "It looks like a bunch of trees with buildings dotted between them, but this place is so technologically advanced compared to home, without Alchemy of course."<p>

"In some ways, I mean we don't really use steam engines that much anymore, and we've developed travel methods way past the automobile and blimps. But we don't have anything even close to Automail. My dad's been seeing a lot of patients lately and none of them have anywhere near the range of movement or control you do." Ed looked down at his right arm, splayed his finger out, curled them into a fist. "I know men who would give almost anything to be able to do that again." Nick said quietly.

"Your arm isn't real." Kurogane breathed, he leant in, narrow red eyes trained on Ed's smallest movements. Ed stared at him wide eyed for a few seconds before nodding slowly.

"Neither's my leg." He pulled off his gloves and coat, which he had probably been wanting to do for a while considering how warm the day had become, exposing the steel of his right arm.

"That looks like the kind of thing we'd see in technologically advanced places like Piffle World, Kuro-sama." Fai remarked.

"I have a great mechanic, if you ever happen to land in my world you can meet her." He smiled.

"Kurogane, Fai!" Syaoran and Sakura walked through the front gate.

"How'd it go kid?" Kurogane asked

"Mokona couldn't sense a feather around anywhere, even when we got far away from this place." The little white thing's ears drooped dejectedly; Syaoran reached up to his shoulder where it was sitting and patted its head.

"That's alright, this might just be one of the places where there isn't a feather, we'll find one in the next world for sure. I've decided to get the feathers back, and that's what we'll do." Mokona sufficiently cheered up, the three came up to join in the conversation.

"Mokona," Nick addressed the small creature once it was sitting comfortably on the coffee table in the centre of the balcony, "we've tried other ways but can't get anything to work, so could you please contact Yuuko for us?" On Mokona's request we went to find a large mirror to make it easier, ending up with three floor length panes collected from around the house and arranged against a flat wall in the lounge room to form an almost unbroken image.

The red jewel on Mokona's head lit up and shot a beam of spreading light out onto the mirror, the red circle it formed wavered for a moment before clarifying. Inside the circle was a window into a smoky room, a lounge was set in the centre, surrounded by a variety of plants and decorations, spread out across the lounge among a frothy wave of different fabrics and immensely long black hair was a woman. She raised her pale face and saw the circle.

A grin spread across her face and a loud cry escaped almost colourless lips, "Mokona! So nice to see you, this calls for some celebratory alcohol. Watanuki~!" There was an angry response from somewhere beyond our line of sight, complaining about the amount she'd already had to drink that day.

"You use anything as an excuse!" A tall teenage boy with jet black hair and skin the same shade of 'what is the sun' white as Yuuko's appeared, flailing his arms in apparent anger. Yuuko greeted him with a smile and continued to ply him for alcohol until he relented with a huffy sigh and one last defiant flail of his limbs. She turned back to Mokona and cast her eyes around the group.

"Hello Kurogane, Fai." The ninja nodded once, he was leaning against the wall next to Fai, the blonde waved a loose hand, smiling pleasantly. "And those I haven't seen before."

"You're Yuuko, the witch?" Kisame asked, she nodded and after a silence Itachi stated our intention of asking her for help.

"Of course, granting wishes is my business." Watanuki appeared in the window again holding a bottle and a small cup, he shoved them at Yuuko with a snarl and stomped away. Yuuko poured the alcohol and drained the glass in one quick gulp. "What do you desire?"

"Kisame and I need to return to our home." Itachi said, Yuuko turned her eyes on Ed.

"You look like someone who wishes for much, in danger of running up a bill higher than he can pay."

"I'll keep that in mind." Ed took a deep breath, "Right now, I just want to go home." Yuuko nodded and her eyes slid off of Ed and onto me. They rested there as silence stretched luxuriously over the room, until I realised she was waiting for me to say something. I had a wish? I was already home, what else did I want to happen? Ed shifted slightly next to me. Of course!

"I want to help Ed pay for his trip home." Yuuko considered it, swirling the liquid around in her glass and pouring the last drops of the bottle down her throat.

"If you split the price of each trip between two people, and if those going agree to no specific destination within those worlds, it will work." She said at last, arching her neck to blow a stream of smoke into the air above her head.

"Great, let's get going then." Kisame said, "What's this price you keep talking about?" Yuuko watched us all for a minute.

"The three of you," she gestured towards Itachi, Kisame, and Ed, "value the acquisition of knowledge, and you have spent much time and effort during your journey gathering knowledge from other worlds for your own benefit, to put towards achieving your dreams. This potential to progress towards your goals will be your price." There was a dumbfounded silence as we all took in what she'd said.

"What exactly does that mean?" Ed asked, cautiously.

"Your price is the information you have gathered. Any notes you've made, any work you have done, and memories of any work you've done. You will remember that you had the information and probably that it was important. Do you all agree?" Itachi and Kisame had an entire conversation composed of meaningful looks and nods, Ed agreed immediately. Yuuko continued,

"In addition to that, you," she directed her gaze at Itachi, "will in truth surrender control of what you consider an important tool, control of your own body." His brow furrowed as he considered the meaning of this, it was almost cryptic to the point of nonsense, he nodded in agreement anyway. "You," her eyes moved across Ed to me, "will never see any of these three people again, or anyone you met in their worlds. Do you accept?" I nodded.

"I see what you mean about these prices now." Ed said over his shoulder to Fai.

"That will settle it. I'll have to set up a few things before you're ready to go, feel free to go relax while you wait, maybe drink something!" Yuuko laughed with an almost chilling maniacal glee, at the same time the door to the room creaked open, Sakura poked her head in.

"We made some snacks." She said quietly.

"Hurray, thank you Sakura-chan!" Fai stood up and breezed out of the room, Kurogane followed behind him, casting one last mistrustful look over his shoulder at Yuuko, Ed, Itachi and Kisame left as well.

"Do you have another wish?" Yuuko asked, I looked down at my clasped hands and then back up at the woman in front of me.

"Yes." I wanted to do more than just help Ed. "Itachi, he's sick, right? Or he will be soon. He's going blond slowly as well. Eventually he just drops dead of exhaustion and illness, you know this, or did this, somehow." Yuuko remained impassive.

"What is your wish? I cannot return a paid price, just as I cannot save the dead."

"I… I don't want to stop it, I don't know what that would do to the course of events."

"That which is inevitable will happen." I sat down on the armchair in front of the mirrors and put my head in my hands.

"I just don't want him to die struggling and coughing up blood, barely able to see, in five kinds of pain." I couldn't afford the price for a cure to whatever illness Itachi was going to contract, or had contracted already, both my mind and Yuuko told me that. "How much can I help, how much pain can I take away? Whatever that amount is, that's what I want to do."

"You can relieve him of some of the pain he will face, nowhere near all of it, but some." I nodded in understanding, bracing myself for what the price would be. "You wish to avoid giving out information as much as those three wish to obtain it, for fear of what you might change and the harm you might inflict. Your price is to answer whatever question is asked of you by the three who are leaving with the truth." The truth was my price?

"Okay." I only had to answer if they asked me a direct question, I didn't have to go and blurt out everything I ever knew about them, I could handle this. "I'll do it."

"Know this: if you fail, your wish will rebound threefold, his pain will be tripled." With this hanging over me I left the room and walked towards the kitchen. Cutlery clinking on plates, murmured conversation; a meal in progress. Meals, like dinner; a meal I had promised to be home to eat.

I checked my watch: 6:30. "Crap, I have to go!" I ran the last few steps to the kitchen and stuck my head in. "Guys, I have to run back home for dinner or my parents will never let me go anywhere ever again, I'll get back as soon as I can, promise."

"Yuuko says she'll wait to start until everyone is present." Mokona added from beneath me, he hopped between my legs and up ontp the dinner table, around which the group was standing, tasting the chocolate pie-resembling thing that Sakura had created.

"Great, I'll see you guys again as soon as possible." I turned around and sped towards the door, Ed called out that he was coming too, and I heard his footsteps behind me. When we got out to the car, a dark figure flashed down to stand beside it; Itachi. He didn't say a word, but got in the back of the car, behind the driver's seat. No one said anything during the drive.

* * *

><p>Familiar doesn't always imply comfortable, one wouldn't say that just because I was becoming familiar with the red eyes now boring into the back of my head it meant I was comfortable, the same goes for sneaking guys in past my parents through my bedroom window. Familiar, but still deeply unsettling.<p>

If Ed safely sequestered up in my room with a pile of books and the food he'd brought from Nick's house was the only thing I'd had on my mind, I would have felt safe. But having rogue ninja wandering around, I ate dinner as fast as my mother would allow; she had a sense for the number per minute and size of bites she thought was 'safe' and heaven help you if you were over that, if there was an eating Police Force my mother would be running the whole thing. When I was released I cited tiredness and ran up the stairs, having a stunning moment of Déjà vu as my feet shot out from under me and I fell.

My high-pitched yelp, embarrassingly close to a squeak, of surprise faded into the darkness as I realised I was still upright. My eyes had closed instinctively as I started to fall, as I opened them I became aware of the pressure around my right wrist and on my back. A quickly cultivated theory was confirmed when, once my eyes were open, I saw a pair of familiar (still creepy, see?) red eyes.

"You're pretty good at catching me when I fall, aren't you? Is that a class at ninja school?" Itachi didn't say anything, and didn't break eye contact. He dragged me by my captive wrist up the stairs and into the empty study. My back was slammed against the wall and most of my breath decided to vacate my lungs in a little gasp.

"Cathy, I have questions for you, and you _will_ answer them this time." Damn it. The red eyes felt mere centimetres from my own, in the faint light coming from the window I could see a vague outline of Itachi's face.

"You wished to spare me pain, why?" He heard me bartering with Yuuko, this couldn't end well. I waited for the truth to be ripped from my lips, for an inescapable compulsion, an unbreakable vow made real. I waited for my mouth to move on its own, betraying the very depths of my soul. Nothing happened.

Oh, come on. I Kurogane had a damn good point, that witch was tricky and evil. What better way to make sure I told the absolute truth to the best of my ability than by making it up to me? If I couldn't feel the boundaries, I couldn't test them. I would have to tell the exact 100% truth all the time for fear of my wish reversing and hurt coming to the person I was trying so hard to protect.

"Because… I think you've been through enough pain and I want to help." Because you're broken and hurt already and you shouldn't be further destroyed. Because you like visiting cafés and your favourite word is 'peace'. Because you're the best (and also worst) older brother I've ever seen. The words ran fleetingly through my head, and I called them back and frogmarched them up my throat and out my mouth.

"How do you know things like that? Why do you know?" I wasn't really certain about the differences between those questions, but I tried.

"Naruto Uzumaki's life story is portrayed in a series of graphic novel- manga- book things, and an animated television series, and a host of other things actually. It's focused around Naruto, obviously the other important people in his life come into it. They were written by someone named Masashi Kishimoto. Millions of people have read it, most of them don't believe it's real though." As for why…

"Naruto…" Itachi paused as if in reverie, then roused himself. His face was becoming slowly clearer as my eyes adjusted to the light. "In this… story, how much of the background to it is revealed?" I thought about this one, no doubt Itachi was wondering about his village's history, his history, his family.

"A lot. I don't know if I can say all, can you ever portray all of history?, but a lot certainly." Silence. "You… your story…" I didn't really know what I wanted to say, "I don't suppose it would help if I told you that the people who read it voted you one of the most popular characters…"

"It's not…" Itachi was shaking. It was the tiniest tremor, an ant walking on a leaf, but for a perfectly controlled and rock solid Itachi it was a 9.3 on the Richter Scale. He drew in a breath, "…about me."

"Some of it is. You don't have to be nameless and faceless here. You don't have to sacrifice your whole self for other people. The people here, who know what happened, we… _I_ want it to be about you, just this once. I guess that answers the why question earlier." I felt tears welling up in my eyes and tried to calm down, but feeling that tiny, enormous tremor, hearing it in Itachi's voice, they flowed unerringly from their ducts onto my cheeks.

"This story, goes beyond what is the present for me." Not exactly a question, I didn't answer. "But you don't want to tell me about it…" Another deep breath and another helpful not-question which I got to not answer. The hands that had been pressing my shoulders into the wall released me and Itachi took a half step backwards. The urge to hug him, which was one long repressed by his general terrifying nature, invaded my mind. I wasn't sure if not doing something I really wanted to do counted as lying, but after all the truths I had forced myself to bare I wasn't taking any chances. I took a step forward and did one of the most impulsive and terrifying things of my young life, I reached out and wrapped my arms around Itachi Uchiha.

I did it gently and slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to move away, or snap my neck or whatever he felt he needed to do. He didn't do anything for a few seconds. Hands came to rest on my shoulder blades, light and warm. They pressed against me for the space of a few breathes, until they moved to my shoulders and pushed me away.

"It's time for me to go." Itachi said, he turned around and left the room, walked across the hall and into my room. I followed after him, feeling unsteady and more than a little confused. Ed was spread out on the floor, a pile of books on either side of him.

"It's amazing." He said as we entered. "I'm actually not learning a word of what I'm reading, just that it's really interesting. I can only remember the really inconsequential stuff, or stuff that I already know."

"That sounds remarkably like what happens to me whenever I read those books. We're probably going to need to wait for another half an hour or so before leaving. I'll sneak out the window with you guys." It would be my first time doing so, I was glad to be following such seasoned veterans. They proved very helpful, Ed tried to silently teach me the best way to climb down an ordinary brick wall, and Itachi once again demonstrated his talent at catching me when I fell.

* * *

><p>"I am really glad they waited until I left to start doing this, my mother would have had a field day." The smell of alcohol was thick in the air, along with the sound of boisterous voices and the deep thrum of loud music. Nick's house was bright and alive in the night, I could clearly see the outlines of Kurogane and Fai, the former once more chasing the latter, in the windows.<p>

"You're here, finally!" Nick threw his arms around my neck and hugged me very tightly, "We can stop this insanity! Kurogane!" He ran off after the ninja, who was himself still running after a breathlessly giggling Fai. I walked into the living room to find Mokona sitting in front of the large mirror we had created, beaming Yuuko's shop onto the surface, Yuuko herself was currently absent.

I felt like we were on good terms for a little while there Life. I apologise strenuously for the mistake. You were obviously just winding up for your grand finale in terms of totally confusing things that make me want to start all over again on some far away island.

Sakura and Syaoran were spinning around in the centre of the room, singing at the top of their lungs, and when they saw me, they insisted I join them lest I face the wrath of the giant flying bunny monster, encouraging me to get a mop and join them in their struggle for freedom against the Mouse King. Nick came back eventually with Kisame and set things to rights: the ninja held the two down until they fell asleep. Fai seemed in a silly mood as well, though he still made more sense than Sakura and Syaoran had.

"That's what I like to see!" Yuuko appeared once more in the circle being projected onto the mirror, holding a similar bottle to the one she had been drinking out of earlier, she flopped onto her lounge, poured a cup and gulped it down. "Let's get started! Little blonde man, you're up! Watanuki~!" She completely ignored Ed's barely contained rage and told him to stand in the centre of a circle drawn on the large sheet of paper that covered most of the floor.

"Ed!" I stood on the edge of the paper, not wanting to trample it or get in the way, "Thank you so much for everything, I would have been completely stuck without you and Al."

"I was glad to meet you guys." Ed smiled over his shoulder at Itahci, Kisame and me, "I'd say see you later, Cathy, but… I guess I won't. So I'll just say good luck!"

"Good luck!" Ed turned back to Yuuko, her loosely smiling face became sharply focused, and with one small wave of her hand the circle warped and Ed was gone.

"Alright! Set up the next one Watanuki!" She ordered, I heard the disgruntled teen complaining loudly in the background as he, judging by the loud scraping and banging sounds, rearranged the furniture to Yuuko's whim. While they prepared Itachi and Kisame bother stepped up to the paper, Kisame walked right onto it and stood in the centre, throwing; "See you girly, or not as the case will be. I'd say it's been fun, but it's been too annoying" over his shoulder.

Itachi stopped on the edge, nodded his head a little, and said a single; "Goodbye."

"Bye Sharkbait, I'll miss you too! Bye Weasel, take care of yourself. Take care of each other, like good partners should. Tip your waitresses, and waiters, and anyone else you feel deserves it really. Bye!" I waved goodbye to the two ninja, as Yuuko waved her own hand, and they vanished.

"They have returned to their worlds safely." Yuuko said, she said farewell to me and Nick, promised to see the others again, and vanished.

"I'm weirdly sad that they're gone, as well as relieved." I said, sitting down next to the prone Sakura.

"Now that they are, the energy around you all has lessened, Mokona can sense things much better now. There's definitely no feather in this world." The creature's rabbit ears twitched as it spoke.

"Let's move on to the next one then." Kurogane said, leaning down and scooping Syaoran up with one arm. "Come on White Bun thing."

"Thank you so much for your hospitality, it always means a lot to us to find kind strangers in new worlds." Fai said, shaking Nick's hand and then mine and shooting us a cheery smile. "Maybe we'll see you again! I sure hope so." He bent down and scooped up Sakura from the couch she was sleeping on, much more gently than Kurogane had with Syaoran.

He stood next to Kurogane, Mokona opened its mouth, and some very obviously magical stuff happened. A circle appeared on the floor beneath them from Mokona's mouth, and with a wave and a burst of illogical wind the four travellers and one odd creature disappeared.

* * *

><p>I yawned and was suddenly fighting sleep, "I should be getting back home before my parents notice I'm missing and send out a search party. Or possibly an angry mob with torches and pitchforks." Nick looked as exhausted as I suddenly felt.<p>

"I'm going to bed too. I'll see you tomorrow at school, where we can discuss how this isn't a dream."

Thankfully the wind from riding woke me up somewhat, I was able to stay awake for the entire ride home. Putting the machine next to the garage I crept to the wall directly underneath my window. This is where my plan went downhill. I had no idea how to get back up to my room; no convenient trees or ivy to climb here, just brick wall.

Scrabbling at the side of the house, and swearing as loudly as I dared considering I was trying to be covert, I more than half fell into the window and onto my purple carpet. I kicked off my shoes as I crossed the room and collapsed fully clothed onto my bed. Sighing happily I buried my face in my pillow… Only to connect with something cold and hard.

I jerked backwards and into a sitting position, putting my hand out to find whatever it was. My hand ran over the surface of my pillowcase, pulling back with something long and smooth clutched in my fingers. I rolled out of bed and turned on my desk lamp, laying the cold thing down next to it.

It was a necklace. Three small metal rings linked by a fine chain. It was achingly familiar; I'd seen Itachi wearing it almost every day. I stared at the thing in disbelief. _Why?_ He knew we would never see each other again. I ran my fingers over the rings again an picked up the necklace, turned off my lamp and walked back over to my bed.

* * *

><p>"Cathy! We're leaving in ten minutes, are you ready!?" I called back an affirmative to my mother, who was once again standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting to take me to school. I grabbed Itachi's chain and slid it around my neck, doing up the clasp as I ran down the stairs.<p>

"Are you allowed to wear that? Where did you get it anyway?" I tucked the rings underneath my uniform shirt and picked up my school bag, maths homework present and accounted for this time? Yep.

"It was a gift from a- damn it!" My physics homework on the other hand…

Damn it Life!

"Hang on mum, I'll be right back."

"Don't take too long, sometimes I swear you've been getting lost up there lately." She was chuckling, "One day you might not come back."

* * *

><p><strong>OH MY GOSH WE MADE IT TO THE END, for which I apologise. I hate endings at the best of times, and I wrote this one at 2am after just waking up… but I can't really do anything about it now, I leave the house in 4 hours for the airport. (sleep might be a good idea)<strong>

**Thank you so much to anyone who favourite, followed, reviewed or read. **

**Best of luck for the rest of the year!**

**DTFrogget**

**Sooooo... I`m considering a sequel, and there`s a poll on my profile if anyone who`s read this far has any input. THANKSBYE!**


End file.
